2 Types of People Who Helped the Narcissist Hurt You
Ever wonder why narcissists keep getting away with their behavior? It’s not just them—it’s the people who minimize or enable their actions. In this video, we break down the difference between enablers and minimizers, and how both contribute to the harm and confusion survivors experience. If you've felt dismissed, unheard, or re-harmed by others around the narcissist, this video will help make sense of it.
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
Entire family is abusive, how can I be so cursed to be sourounded by the entire immediate family being narcissistic? How?! What are the chances? I have no one
I’m at the point to say do the right thing now!
Unfortunately the chances are high in our current cultural crisis. But that also means you are not alone. Many of us understand. We are family. 🫂💔💕
Same here. Sometimes you have to let go and other times you just have to gray rock.
Incorrect! You have a tribe, we were conditioned to feel that we would be without people. We have a tribe!! That is why there are so many of us on this channel, Love❤
@@Londiebeantown not incorrect. Don’t devalue someone’s feelings.
Bird of a feather flock together.
I learned a lesson. Family is your worst enemy. So be it loneliness is worse in a home of hate than being alone and figuring your life out.
Absolutely family is your worst enemy and they will try to destroy you as much as possible especially narcissistic families
the closer people are to you, the more need to watch them..
So true! ❤
Dr Ramini,
Thank you for always giving gutsy advice (without the putdowns and judgey undertones). You are saving lives! ❤
The secondary layer of the narcissists social/supply structure has been bewildering me. The narcissists themselves I’m gaining some understanding of. But this important second layer is part of the damage structure .
The worst part about narcissistic sibling golden child is that she gets everything that she wants ,,I have been begging my dad for so much he will always give the narcissistic sibling money,land ,property free lavish trips abroad I get nothing😭😭😭life has been brutal I feel like an orphan
Hope you’ve already severed ties with your father.
A ‘boundary tester’ is someone who has no respect for boundaries. Their aim is to find a way to disrespect you.
“Status Quo-ers.” That’s an excellent term describing those who refuse justice to those hurt by narcissistic people and systems. They see no reason to rock the boat because the system works for them.
It took me a longer time to accept these helpers were just as harmful and were necessary to cut off for my mental health. The invalidation and setting me up for harm over and over… such a warped tangle.
Read so many comments and today I realized about how it’s always a narcissistic family member who actually destroys your everything… and ironically this narcissistic person is actually your everything…
Thank you, Dr. Ramani. My brother is a narc. My mother, who I just learned weeks ago, is also a narc. She both minimizes & enables my brother. I just learned that “her reward” is that she and my brother have an emotionally-incested relationship. When my father was alive, he’d help with minimizing my brother’s behavior by calling it out and not putting up with it. Mom almost always defends her son. The more I see videos about narcs, the more I see how MESSED UP my family is.
When a narcissistic family member hears that you are being verbally bullied in school and then minimizes that abuse by saying “So what? Those kids are probably just teasing you!” it is doubly traumatic.
Yes, it is called a “secondary trauma.” My mom’s line was, “Do you know how many girls would love to have your problems?”
Every experience with a narcissist is traumatic I remember my mother said the same
@@AnnieB-v8j You know, sometimes I wish there was a “summer camp” for parents!
My sis dismissed my 3 years of being ostracized and bullied at school on a daily basis with “oh everybody goes through that” after I talked about one of my bullies. (this was many years after the bullying happened). Then she befriends the bully that I had named.
My family is just one big toxic system…
Nowadays people are just a big toxic system ❤
Same! I wish it was easy to find a new family. I tried to find one. I ended up jumping from one toxic family system to another one.
What gets me about these Narcissistic family system, is when someone comes along and actually Sees what’s Wrong and the Bigger Picture, they try to address the problem and They get Attacked by everybody and That person gets labelled as ” the Problem “
EXACTLY!
There is no fix unless they see it themselves and change themselves. I’ve never seen that happen.
Like unto a Den of Vipers .
You can place another Viper in the Den and nothing happen . But as soon as you place something else other than that , they will all attack it .
It’s the most cruel horror experience,,it’s like they have mentally possessed by the narcissist and are mind controlled by narcissists
me, as the daughter in law who currently is thrown out of the family, gets cheated on, the cheating is supported by the father, they ask everything back like even the wedding ring LOL, they leave me with zero money and anything (just furniture woohoow). And i could get on, but you get the picture. Im glad that im saved on time.
Without enablers they would be less of it too! So good !
I’m on Boundaries 2.0 these days. I have policies, and I just say it’s a policy I have. I think twice about important things, with a break of a day or so. I have off-limits topics I won’t discuss with certain people, and there are people I won’t initiate anything with. I have a small inner circle where healthy is normal, so I can let the outer circle just keep going around in circles.
Laws are corrupted and so are the most of the judges at family violence courts. It’s nothing but heartbreaking.
Last week, left a job where a narcissistic colleague made life difficult for me, bosses were enablers. Quit my job and told them I couldn’t tolerate him.
It is a pity you had to leave your job…, but probably you did the correct thing. Narcissistic peaple are the worst.
You said verbatim some of my mom’s lines: “You know how he is.” (“He does the same thing to me. Don’t take it so personally.”) “They don’t mean it.” She also didn’t realize how much it was hurting her, even though she did get some ‘benefits’ by going along to get along.
Sometimes I feel enablers are a bigger problem than Narcs themselves. Without these sidekicks, Narcissists will not have the confidence to be this nasty to their victims.