3 outrageous narcissistic traits
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
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I survived a #ToxicBoxOfCandy and now surviving #ToxicCoparenting – good news is that our son moves back home with me just 2 days after he turns 18. ā¤ Love wins, never give up on your kids even if the coparent tries to commit #ParentalAlienation ā¤
Lost both of mine to that. Kind of a hopeless cause now-very painful.
@@wendylynn6407 please find a local church community to pray for you and your family. It’s taken 2 years and 10 months for our first to come back, my hope is in Jesus, because He never leaves us nor forsakes us. His promises are true – that’s my personal testimony of what got me through the pain you are experiencing. My ex blocked me from even seeing them for 223 days of the last 3 years through playing the family court system with false allegations and unfounded claims. Do not give up, give it all to Jesus and allow Him to build you back up. Praying for your reunification in God’s timing, take care of yourself, work out, have fun, stay away from drugs/alcohol), make new positive encouraging friends who love Jesus and you will be a changed soul from the inside out. The outside will shine from within. that’s the secret, Jesus is my Lord and Savior.
They try to bend us according to their will until we break.
Imo, if you find yourself constantly attracted to narcissists over your life, feeling tingly and having chemistry with him/her, take a step back before you act, and analyze why this is happening to you all the time. There are no prince charmings or knights in shining armor. Real love takes mutual respect and the ability to compromise with one another for the benefit of the other person.
Well said
Yeah, from what I understand those are actually your body trying to warn you that this person isn’t right for you. And somehow we’ve been programmed to think in the opposite way. Who’s right for you has a calming effect. And people who are used to drama think it’s boring. They have no idea that they’re in a safe environment.
Yes it takes time to know someone- tread lightly
HELL YES. Say it louder! That is me until I became a bit more aware. I started catching the signs in this woman I met, and when she started ranting directly in front of me, my eyes actually crossed and her two eyes became one cyclops eye in the middle in my perception. Whoa Nelly did I ever hear the alarms and see the red flags. She turned out to be quite toxic to another friend nuff said. Long story short op is right. That weird mutual attraction is going to hang around like a bad guest so watch out. Always
@@geraldfriend256 snagglepuss the cartoon- Exist Stage Left !! Like split the scene jellybean !
Absolutely ruined my life having narcissists constantly in my life (parents, family members, and other unfortunate acquaintances).
If you’re able, you need to distance yourself from these people for your own sake and sanity. The sooner the better. These people crush your soul when abuse becomes ritualistic and chronic, enabled, and rationalized in their minds. As Dr. Ramani has said before, if you’re able to, “get out!”
Thanks to everyone who cared.
Me too. Iām 76 and have distanced myself from my two daughters for the last two years. Dr. Raminiās videos have literally helped me save my life.
Me too. Iām 76 and have distanced myself from my two daughters for the last two years. Dr. Raminiās videos have literally helped me save my life.
You are such a rock star Dr Ramani, thanks for building people up, cheers
After staying up all night and being loud, my ex housemate would take 2 hour long showers in the morning at the detriment of other housemates who needed to use the toilet or get ready for work. Zero charisma and difficult to talk to yet felt entitled to our possessions, time and energy. Narcissists are horrible people
They all have a āvanityā and care how they are perceived. It often is not physical appearance but their place in society, number of social connections, appearance or achievements of their family, wealth, mastery of hobbies or career. They are shallow and outward focused. I dated one once – a gross looking guy, who became fixated on my not always wearing make up. I had to defend my right to go natural!
This reminds me of a guy I dated. He was successful and super charming in the beginning, and was cute but not the most handsome, yet he felt a need to pick apart my physical appearance and be criticizing of my body. He also wanted reassurance that he was ābetter looking than my last boyfriendā. It was odd and I felt bad for him at first, but then saw the red flags when the compliments stopped and he became selfish and disrespectful, so thankfully I stopped dating him. Super disgusting behaviour. If I even get a hint of that from a guy now, Iām out! š
He hung his head three times, says he has no memory though others do. He wants to question them on their memories. He also recalls a situation enough to remember anothers reaction but not his own.
But, in discussing it he admitted having altercations I had no clue about and that he felt ‘bad’ over. Still falls short of admission, or apology to an individual. Yet, this gives a confirmation over what Dr Christine Cocchiola talks about. They learn which is the protective parent.
I was once telling my husband how I never had any clothes to wear at boarding school. I would just wear black tracksuit pants and how my mother would always guilt me with a look if I bought one modest item of clothing with my birthday money. He asked me if she had lots of clothes. I literally went to her cupboard one day to look. I have memories of how it would be a joke (don’t tell dad) her buying a really expensive dress for a wedding and always looked well put together even though she was overweight. I even remember her having a pair of Ray-Bans despite her always giving us speeches about how we don’t need “fancy” clothes especially not name brands. My poor dad would always say how she would spend and I always defended her. Many years later when she went on a smear campaign against me she showed up at the neighbours with the oldest dirtiest pants with holes in playing the victim. Thank you Dr R you have helped me see through so much.
Just try saying āNoā just once to a narcissist. The reaction is not the same as saying no to anyone else. They may be quiet at the time, but you will pay.
šÆ
A half hour later with a cutting remarkš¢
Say no to a narc and they will bring it up for the next 50 years ans twist it where it makes you look like you ALWAYS say no….and how unreasonable you are…and will forever use it against you
Yep
Someone told me once, in the beginning of a relationship… just tell them no and you’ll have everything you need to know
Say yes to your future HEALTHY self, which you can constantly build RIGHT NOW.
Seeing the pattern in their behaviors is really key. I had it about 80% figured out when I stumbled across an article on Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and that was the real lightbulb moment. I had already given up on the relationship, but it allowed me to see right through all her games and attempts at hoovering.
Spot on about weaponized empathy and gaslighting once they learn and abuse your triggers, such as making an unbelievably huge mess on the stove right when its time for a meal to be made and taking hours to clean it up.
My mother always made filing for student aid so dramatic and would take months to do it for me.
Finally now Iām 24 I filed independently, and the process took me 10 minutes.
It had made me realize how much anxiety and stress she made out of just the littlest things.
Sometimes student aid is a debt trap and people end up in hundreds of t hounds of dollars of debt. So you may want to look into it.
@ Thanks for sharing, however when I filed I only filed for the government grants not the loans. Itās a requirement to file for universities to provide scholarships and packages..
@
For grants and scholarships is different than loans, so I can see the frustration with that for those things.
Back in 1992 my mother refused to sign my financial aid paperwork bc she demanded I quit school to take care of her. She also said if i signed her name she would report me/ needless to say I was devastated. I had to go to the school therapist and he was able to get me claimed as an independent and I was able to file my own š good for you for doing it yourself!!!
Took nearly 50 years to hear this person’s horrible behavior had a name, narcissist. My first love. So I thought. 8 years of love bombing, being devalued, abused, dumped and then repeat the cycle, again and again. I left, moved 1000 miles away. Married a wonderful man I never fully appreciated because my head and heart were so messed up. Twice during my marriage. the narcissist contacted me, trying to devalue my husband and ruin my marriage. Now I’m a widow, and he still contacts me…. I am numb to him, no love, no hate. Just indifference.The biggest gut punch to me is learning they can’t change.
As survivors of narcissism we must be very careful not to beat ourselves up because that just plays in to “narcissism world” repeating itself in your head. I believe we must build ourselves up slowly. And I believe that we are all miracles. ā¤
I totally agree with you when you say that narcissistic people have a full capacity for empathy. I’ve seen it and understand that any of us can turn empathy on and off; narcissistic people leave it off most the time, they choose to turn it on when it suits them.
I also believe there is concrete scientific evidence that supports this capacity in people.
My (ex-)wife purchased several expensive designer purses (each over $5,000) for herself. She would also yell at me for hours because I took our 3 kids to eat at McDonaldās for $10. Insane!
Ten dollars each right?….Right??
Oh, my goodness. Thatās is so frustrating! Iām sorry you and your family had to endure that behavior.
Sounds familiar. I wanted to do something nice for myself after my cousin ended his life on the day of my auntās funeral (yeah, I had to have a reason to spend some money and get it cleared through him). I wanted to go to the spa. He asked the cost for my treatment, and I said $90. Admittedly, I didnāt know it would be so expensive because he never let me do those types of things.
He was upset and said that after the tip, it would be $100. He told me to choose something else. Mind you, this is a week after he bought a TV that we didnāt need for $1100 and upon learning the receiver was too old for the TV, bought a new receiver the week after for $850. So, I wanted to spend $90, and he said no but proceeded to spend $2000 within two weeks š. So relieved to be away but feel badly for our children (three of the four donāt even speak to him š©). You take care of yourself!
They choose not to use their empathy! This explains so much.
My ex narc boyfriend said once Ā«I cant have an ugly girlfriendĀ»šthinking he was quite a catch. Turned out he was insane, a pathological liar, a vulnerable narcissist, full of rage and shame. Always wanted to be surrounded by famous, powerful or /and good looking people. Thank you, Ramani for reminding me of this cruel person! So happy he is no more a part of my lifeā¤