4 KEY STRATEGIES for moving on from a narcissistic relationship
NORTH CAROLINA RETREAT
November 1-3, 2024
ORDER MY NYT BESTSELLING BOOK 📖 "IT'S NOT YOU"
JOIN MY HEALING PROGRAM
JOIN THE DR. RAMANI NETWORK
GET INFO ABOUT MY UPCOMING PROGRAM FOR THERAPISTS
SIGN UP FOR MY MAILING LIST
LISTEN TO MY NEW PODCAST "NAVIGATING NARCISSISM"
Apple Podcasts:
Spotify:
Stitcher:
iHeart Radio:
DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
1/ Implementing Strict No Contact!!
2/ Seeking professional Therapy
3/ Building A Strong Support System
4/ Focusing On Self Care!!!And Acknowledging The Abuse
5. Develop an interest in something; get a hobby. That may sound trivial. But, you’ve probably been kept very busy, maybe for years or decades, by the neediness and soul sapping nature, of being with a narcissist. You may have been interested in something before the narcissist arrived in your life, but their arrival obliterated it. Try to reconnect with that or find something new. I always think of the mind, as a bookshelf, where you put new books on one end and it knocks old books off the other end. You won’t be ruminating about that narcissist so much, if you start concentrating on something new.
We can’t fix them. It’s waste of time to keep trying.
The narcissist having a new partner is like recasting actors in a long running series with the same toxic plot and new victims, like a bad remake.
I always put single never married. I was married to a bum narc for three years. I was the only one working. He i heard played the exact game he played on me. Got a business going and it died fast. His new supply he married they stayed together 30 years till his death. She completely supported him. Needless to say she was head bookkeeper of a doctor office. Buying new trucks for him. Spending way more money than a bookkeeper would make. I believe it’s called embezzlement! The story of two narcissists in love.
My daughters father and I still live together because I’m not financially capable of moving out quite yet. He’s already on dating apps. I don’t feed his emotional and narcissistic needs, so he looks elsewhere. What people need to tell themselves repeatedly is that those behaviors reflect how afraid they are to be alone. That is a reflection of him not me. My focus will continue to be my daughter and bettering myself. I know I will get married somewhere down the line and it will be beautiful. That will come to me when it is time. But to get to that point, I need to focus on myself and my children. I will not let his narcissism dictate the rest of my life. I will make a good life for myself and my daughters.
Great analogy 👏
Take the time to reflect and process what happened. But then put the focus back on yourself. Set boundaries, practice self love. Start doing the things you loved to do again.
Everyone…have a wonderful day..blessings and much love to you all ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
❤❤❤
I had to get off social media altogether. I have local friends and decided to simplify. I let a bit left out at first, but don’t think about it much anymore.
Self discovery. long term no contact provides the opportunity to examine the whys of how you ended up in an abusive relationship. For me, the deep connection of choosing an abuser is directly related to being treated the same as a child. Denial. years of denying reality. Who wants to deal with a painful past? Yet, necessary to get to the heart of healing. The abuser no longer seems powerful. They merely appear as an crafty, creepy opportunist. Elevate yourself for you.
I’m in a fifty year marriage and still in it. Money is the reason I can’t leave! I pray to God for a miracle. I always knew he didn’t love me just didn’t know WHY. Thank you for giving me the WHY!
Trust me you are not alone.
Fifty! That’s a whole life.
Keeping you in prayer. Maybe a friend or another family member could help.
Sometimes it hurts my heart to hear the truth in everything you say. But in a good way, a growing and healing way.
Dear Dr. Ramani,
First of all, I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the help you offer to victims of narcissists. Your knowledge, experience and wisdom is so incredibly valuable. Thank you for being here.
Unfortunately, there is no one of your caliber in my home country of Germany and unfortunately, many people don’t read your book because the language barrier puts them off. I have read your book, my English is good enough to understand, but many Germans find it too challenging. I am convinced that many more Germans would read your book if there was a German edition. Is there a plan to publish the book in German? Kind regards, you have helped me a lot. Thank you so much! ❤
Being with my ex narc for the past 8 yrs. made me observe this very pattern. I think they wanted to feel very important in a way that is disturbing. Instead of building trust with their intimate partners, they destroy the trust that they built with you (in that case lying when they tried to put you in their pedestal). Once they have a committed partner, they can’t stand being loved authentically by one person. Instead they go on and prey on other women that is susceptible to their love bombing.
My ex narc was a compulsive pursuer in a relationship. He would go back and forth to the women he were involved before or try to meet women in complicated situation so that going public isn’t an option while having you as their main supply. In the end they destroy the very person that loved them. They are like toddlers testing your love for them. Showing and telling them you love them isn’t enough, they will cheat on your face to make you feel inadequate even if you are more than they deserve. They want to test your love for them so they keep hurting you and when you have enough of their abuse, you leave. Then they tell you, ‘you never loved me because you abandon me’.
Well in fact it’s their actions and narcissistic behavior that made you leave or in other cases they discard you and will give silly reasons of the discard. Mine would use, ‘she’s crazy’, ‘she’s a nega-star’, ‘she insults me’, ‘she cheated on me’ et al. So with this pattern of infidelities and emotional abuse (who knows what else) it’s better to walk away. I did walk away and is now rebuilding my life with our daughter. We are struggling financially because I’m not earning enough to provide for my daughter but now we get to laugh and bring with us sunshine every day. No lies, no abuse and no fake love. We only live once, forgive yourself and move forward but never forget the lesson that narc abuse taught you. That is to respect yourself to walk away from what’s hurting and destroying you. That you deserve a life of solitude, happiness and love. Hugs*** 🙂
Additionally, I hired a private detective MetaspyClubLLC@gmail. com. Once I knew what the narc was up to, it got easier to get over that lying, cheating, sack of doo doo, loser. I didn’t need closure from the narc, I paid for it. Best money I EVER spent!
I was that parent who felt guilty about the times when I was so consumed with the crazy narcissist, that I felt like my kids suffered for that.
Im going through this RIGHT NOW. The narcissist, since i stone-walled him and asked him to leave my life and never come back again, has been going around the town, looking for any and everyone i know (friends, family, colleagues, ex colleagues, neighbours…etc), and bad mouthing about me. It has been going on for the past few months. It’s so intense, busy, and non-stop. I wonder how much time and energy that must take, and why would anyone be so desperate?
However, this channel helped me. I knew it would be coming my way once i called out the narcissist and threw him out of my life. So i was prepared and has already had conversations wtih those who matter that this person would possibility reach out to them to talk bad behind my back. And this is exactly how it happened. Thanks Dr Ramani.
To add – I also learned that “information ” is so important for the narcissit and they know how to manipulate once they have it. Not letting them be informed about you, makes them powerless.
You were wise to prepare people of the inevitable smear campaign. I discovered my ex went around twisting the information he had on me to make me look like a crazy and sick person even during the entire relationship. If only the people he told things to knew the real story. 😢
@@dk5755 – Narcissists don’t have partners or friends. They have hostages.
This is such a powerful video! Thankyou ❤️
Man I wish I’d had someone like Dr.Ramani when I was young. I think in hindsight I was looking in the right directions. It’s the wasted time that still hurts. And I do have substantial talents that weren’t used. I can only hope that we all move forward and do better. So much suffering, manipulation and waste in our world. I don’t even trust my own perspective these days.
Dr. Hits speaks 💯 I met her (my ex) today & my trauma bonded mind urged me to make up & forgive. My rational bed said, “get your keys and leave”.
I got my keys & I hate that I still think about her.
I have a restraining order and I have so much gratitude for it. I was hoovered twice, and this time around I’m absolutely done. I’ve set my social media to private, blocked him and some of his family/friends. I’ve looked at his social media but it’s only served to solidify my decision to end this relationship. It’s definitely as you described, using it as a tool for supply, spreading a narrative that he’s “growing” “healing” and “doing so much better” now 😂
Cutting all ties have been hard but must be done, has been done. Why I miss the relationship is beyond me. I ask myself, what is it you miss? Being abused, cheated on, lied to, treated like s***, etc….Nope don’t miss that at all. I guess I’m sad over what could have been.
I’m a scapegoat that comes from a narcissistic family system. I’m breaking away slowly but surely, and I’m going no contact once I do. I love your channel giving advice on how to deal with narcissistic behavior. If it weren’t for these videos I don’t know where I’d be – certainly not as positive as I am now.
Dr Ramini, I saw you in the series Betrayal, fabulous insights, as ever.