4 power moves to resist the narcissist
ORDER MY NYT BESTSELLING BOOK 📖 "IT'S NOT YOU"
JOIN MY HEALING PROGRAM
JOIN THE DR. RAMANI NETWORK
LISTEN TO MY PODCAST "NAVIGATING NARCISSISM"
Apple Podcasts:
Spotify:
Stitcher:
iHeart Radio:
DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
THANK YOU
Not being liked by the wrong people is better than being destroyed by them.
Oh yes, that is true.
Very interesting video! Thank you very much.
This is why I’m all about taking things slow and getting to know somebody. It filters out the love bombers because they just don’t have that kind of time.
All these red flags are true. Trust your gut. Stay clear. Thanks for your work Dr. Ramani.
27:37 i just had to set a boundary with my toxic mother. After being left unresponded to for writing a heartfelt message asking her to commit to hearing me when i feel hurt. My mistake for asking a narcissist, but after waiting anxiously for a week, she messaged me to say “How are you? How’s the job hunt going?” When I reminded her that she hadnt responded at all to my last message and that that felt terrible, she said “I dont know what you want from me.”
I told her we could continue the unidirectional communication, but that it would be by my choice and blocked her. I slept well this week for the first time in ages, not filled with anxiety waiting for her to say something kind.
You love yourself so much to the extent, obviously not in a narcissistic way but in a true way, that you become resistant to all the old patterns that pulled you in. And when I say this I mean that you don’t blame the victim which is yourself. No. You embrace that old you that is transforming as well as embrace the new self you are becoming.
Dr Ramani is the only power move I need 😍😍😍
Great information, to stay safe and protected. Thank you, Dr. Ramani.
I taught an 8 week Health class at a high school. I had a specific book I had to use (or maybe I was just lazy), but if I had known then what I know now, one full class would be showing this video to the students.
Sometimes, when you set a STRONG boundary and KEEP IT, the narc, after the initial tantrum, realizes they have no power anymore and decides to behave. But you have to radically accept that this relationship will ALWAYS have to be MANAGED and you’ll always have to stay vigilant. This is rare but possible.
Usually, by the time you learn the person is a “covert narcissist”, you have already ‘dealt’ with them in one way or another. You cannot and will not recognize the person as a ‘covert narcissist’ just by looking at them or having casual interactions with them. You have to observe, listen, and understand what you SAW, what you HEARD, and WHY you SAW and HEARD that. Now don’t that sound easy.
The better question is how do you STOP ‘dealing with’ a covert narcissist once you understand what you SAW, what you HEARD, and WHY you SAW and HEARD that? The ‘best way’ to ‘deal with a covert narcissist’ is to STOP listening, STOP observing, STOP wondering WHY, and STOP having ANY interaction with them.
If you MUST have interactions with them, limit the interactions as much as possible. No “hi, how are you doing”, no “hi, I wish I had time to talk to you”, no “hi, it’s nice to see you” — just “hi, hope you’re doing well, I’ve got to run” or just “hi” and keep walking.
If at all possible, avoid ANY setting or situation where the narcissist or a ‘flying monkey’ can observe you or listen to you. ‘Flying monkeys’ are the narcissist’s ‘possessions’. Dealing with or interacting with anything or anybody the narcissist ‘owns’ is considered the same as ‘dealing with’ or interacting with the narcissist. The more you ‘deal with’ a covert narcissist, the more you will have to ‘deal with’.
Do not ‘run’ from a covert narcissist unless you can ‘run’ totally away from them. When you ‘run’ from a narcissist, it makes them feel powerful and important. They like that and will make a sport out of watching you ‘run’.
Once you ‘learn’ the person is a ‘covert narcissist’, you have to ‘learn’ to either ‘covertly’ avoid the hell out of them or ‘overtly’ have NO CONTACT with them and refuse to ‘deal with’ them. This all SOUNDS so simple and easy, but ask anybody who has ever “dealt with” one and they’ll tell you it’s one of hardest things they’ve ever ‘dealt with’.
And if your gut is screaming that they’ve been cheating, lying, or still manipulating in the background — don’t second-guess your instincts. Get quiet proof. Send a discreet request to digitalinvestigate@gmail. com for confidential help catching a cheating narcissist.
I think we need an update on what is reality on a world scale. There is no reason why with today’s technology, we have people who think the world is flat. If you have people who do not know what is actually real, it makes gaslighting a weakness for the whole of society. 💙🌎🦋
Thank you Dr Ramani for making us aware of the blind spots. 🌷😊 I think what helped me the most to have a purpose in my life. Thanks for your videos, where you encouraged us to find our passion ❤
Predators are interested in your pain, past and preferences. Do not share all this too soon. Say no to something small in the beginning and see how they respond.
So good!! On a side note, I thought of a good Valentine Card……”Will you be my Trauma Bond?…..NOT!” Hehe
I recently was loved bombed by a new neighbor, I was seeing the pattern but my fawning/helpfulness came out automatically (cause it wasn’t a man) I gave her enough rope to hang herself, action over words!
Now I’m learning to sit in my discomfort and guilt 🙁
I’ll do better next time 🤞🏽🙄
That is one thing I did through therapy is to figure out what are my core wounds or patterns that make me vulnerable to narcissist or emotionally immature people. A huge one was not feeling safe, so needing other people to make me feel safe. Once I worked through that I am safe and safe in my own body it really helped me to detached from these personality and emotional types.
Thank you from Corvallis Oregon!🐸🦖🐸💪😊🥰😘
Never understood how anyone would entertain the needy type. If they need a nanny or a therapist, they need to get themselves one of those.