4 Things a Man Needs to Feel to Fall In Love with You
Watch this video to learn the 4 surprising feelings every guy needs to feel to put down his walls and open his heart to you… and how to inspire them!
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FORMAT EXAMPLE: How to make him love me? How do men fall in love? How to get a guy to like me? I get asked questions like these ALL THE TIME by clients, students and women in my life… so I created a video explaining the 4 DEEP EMOTIONS that every man (consciously or SUBconsciously) needs to experience to drop into that deep, heart-centered loving connection with you that you desire.
TIMELINE
0:00 – Intro
0:54 – Subscribe
1:01 – The Nature of Emotions + Interdependence of Masculine/Feminine
2:20 – Men Lack Emotional Agency and Why it's a Good Thing
3:16 – R – Respected for What's He's Up to in the World
5:37 – A – Acknowledged for His Actions
11:02- S – Safety (Emotional Safety)
15:17- E – Excitement
17:12 – Recap of RASE
20:35 – Closing Comments
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Thank you for the video! Great information, I just feel like as women we are having to “raise“ a man. Maybe it’s just me but I feel like we have to dance around a man’s sensitive emotions but as women we have had to “toughen up.” Once you add in work and kids and marriage and all of life‘s responsibilities remembering to RASE our man becomes another thing “to get done” on a women’s never ending chore list. I understand these are important things to facilitate connection however if the women is so caught up in raising children, cleaning up after everyone, working etc, it will fall by the wayside and men need to get over it and grow a sense of self and boost their own self-esteem. Just as women have had to get over it and do the inner work. Just my opinion but I love what you do Mat, you have great energy, keep up the great work!
appreciate it so much!!
This is about him or them.
Why must men always be shu-shu! Otherwise their emotions will be hurt!
Not every woman has to raise their man. That may be your personal experience and observation, but not all men are out of touch with their own emotions. The newer generations only become more emotionally sensitive, for better or worse.
Well stated & very true..
The first 2 things you talk about is what I want from a man. I want respect, I want space to do the things (hobbies I do) I want him to ask me about what I do and be interested. If he is not interested in what I do….then I will not be interested in his life. If he tries to get in the way of my passion…he will have to go. I want to feel he is interested in my life. My love language is touch also. I don’t need to be thanked for taking out the trash …that is what needs to be done to keep a household. I am not his mother and should not have to ask him to do basic things.
yes a lot of what we both want in relationship is fundamentally the same! 🙂
Yes it works Both ways. I’ve been talking to a man on a dating site he has never once asked about me and what I like and what my passions are. It’s all about him. I will not be going out on a date with him.
@@denisehellmann9712 Unfortunately that is extremely common with men you meet online.
It does no harm whatsoever to thank your partner if you’ve started to do the recycling and he comes in as u get a call and once your finished he’s done ALL the recycling and cleaned the household bin, washed dishes, dried & put away etc etc. I have ZERO tolerance for NO appreciation but as with children, if you want to receive certain behaviors then you must first show what you expect and if he takes it for granted then you explain it… very simple. That way you’re clearly paying attention to him and what he does = 2 in 1 bonus 😁
It’s not called the game of Love for nothing, like it or not Love is a game but you can very easily take a major part of the game out of the Love by good communication and appreciation. It works 🙌🏼
Spot on!
That last point about encouraging HIM to express emotion… A safe place for him to share. I accidently did this, with him. And he opened up in a way that I’ve never seen before. He told me painful stories, from his childhood. It was like I loosened a very tight jar. And I could instantly feel him…. more relaxed and content. The way he looked at me was different. Everything was different after that. It was like, he took his armor off. He is stoic and steely. This was HUGE.
this is so poetic. i’m so happy for you!
I’ve had this happen with a man that i wasn’t ready for… it made things hard for me knowing he needed me emotionally and I wasn’t there yet. 😔
Thank you for sharing your story!
How and what did you do to encourage him to open up to you?
I’m so happy for both of you! May the Lord Bless your relationship
Love yourself first. Set boundaries, if they can’t respect you move on to someone that will. DONT mold or shape yourself for anyone, change for yourself and if the next person isn’t appreciative of who you are break free (and I mean go silent and move on) and pour love into yourself. If that’s hard to do then that might be a signal there’s some co dependency issues YOU need to work on.
Thank you! 💯 loving yourself has to be where we put our energy. THATS where the love comes from in the 1st place! We will attract who we are, always. 💖
Never love anyone first only my kids judge me or not co dependcy is not in my books i do what makes me happy im a liberated confident self person amen
I am leaving a 40 year relationship with someone unable to respect me. exactly. be ruthless about not being co-dependent.
yup
Love this!!!!
Its sooo easy to do all these things. What’s difficult is receiving them back from him. It’s always that I’m so respectful, emotionally involved and there for him etc etc bit not getting it in return. Ug!!
Dating myself now, and feel so good about my relationship with me, I think I’ll pop the question soon! 💍👸
Yes I agree. Things has to do with both.
Already did everything as what he said but it just made me feel been taken for granted coz i made him so secured with my feelings for him (were not official with the “relationship” title but he keeps on telling me im more than a friend to him.. Dont know what to feel 🤔
Same here
@@jolanieamparo2142 By saying you’re “more than friends” but not being in an official relationship with you, he’s keeping you on the back burner (but just close enough to keep you around) and considering other dating options. I’d be careful not to invest too much in this guy if I were you.
Thanks so much for your feedback!
I realized recently I don’t know how to let the man be the driver of the relationship, I was so used to dating guys who never made much effort and left everything up to me, that I’ll just automatically think I have to plan what we will do on our next date and meanwhile my amazing boyfriend has already got something lovely planned…I’m learning to step back and let him plan nice dates and take care of me and be appreciative of that, but I’m so not used to it, so I still feel a little awkward at times letting him take care of me and spoil me!
Thanks for sharing!
Taking notes.
Your videos in 1 day have already begun to help save my marriage connection from the threat of an affair. Our 8 years married, 11 together, and our 4 kids thank you.
Your advice is so immediately actionable. Appreciated.
Thank you so much!! I really appreciate hearing that from you.🤗❤️
My guy loves to fish, I told him I wanted him to teach me to fish. He bought my fishing license and put 2 poles together for me.
We’ve gone fishing a couple times, it’s really fun, I caught my very first bass and he was thrilled, even though he didn’t catch anything. I just love being with him whether we do anything or not!!
That is awesome!
I am my boyfriend’s cheerleader, I help him out around the house, I kiss and cuddle him a lot, I give him space and don’t smother him, I respect him, I praise him, give him compliments, I ask him about his day, I show appreciation for him and what he does, I show love and care when he’s hurt physically or emotionally and he said passionately in my ear “I love you” during lovemaking a few days ago after 8 months of being together. I noticed that my love and care for him has made him feel more connected to me which thus made every aspect of our relationship better both in and out of the bedroom. I just saw this video today and I can attest that what is said in this video is true.
Yay!!!
Woow ❤️💃🏻 Glad for you sis 💚💚💚
Mmm he must be really good looking then. Lol
Good for you!! Zaakiya..I sincerely hope that he realizes what he has in you and reciprocates….I chose to date and have a relationship with a woman from another Country We are so happy…she takes great care of me and I in return treat her like a queen. After reading some of the comments you can probably understand why I chose chose another culture. Good luck.
Wow woman still lower them selves and there standars for a mans love ??? Wow…Im not a slave to my man but been with my honey for 12 years and the love is still there … Insecurity really over impowers a woman’s identity to be loved that’s nuts woooww
Basically, be a man’s cheerleader, his mother and his therapist, but don’t expect the same effort in return, because men lack the same capability of emotional awareness…?
😂😂
So true😂
Lol😅
So true.
This is so true!!
After consuming similar content for years, I came to the conclusion that it’s better to invest in myself and to love myself. Relationships are too complicated.
Life is good now
AMAZING love that share!! 🙂
So true my man was very worried about his emotional side until I showed him how safe he was to open up and that I’d be supportive. Before we even got together he asked what I saw in him and amongst his positives I said I always see us together doing fun silly stuff like dancing in the street because we both thought about a song, generally being playful like we were the only ppl on the planet and we do but it was a big plus for him as he knew he could just be himself. He also asked “if I could give you anything what would it be” my reply “just be yourself!” He laughed and said “you could’ve had anything” I laughed and said “that is everything!” Since then we’ve been inseparable even though we live apart. We’re always excited to see each other even on Skype then in person we continue the fun. I’m usually cautious about touch but I knew his touch was genuine and he wasn’t trying it on so I felt comfortable reciprocating his touch.
That’s beautiful!
That is so precious and rare found!!
Awesome!! Kylie Baby❤️
I get it . Men need a lot of care and kudos. Sometimes it’s exhausting and you want it to be your turn.
I appreciate your opinion on this! 🙂
I Absolutely 💯 Percent Agree with you 👍 I told my Ex that I’m not raising a third son 😂😂
It’s throughly exhausting. Especially when unbalanced
@@Mat_Shaffer I’m not sure you actually do, but good try?
RASE
1. R respect ✊🏼 (only if he respects you)
2. A acknowledge for his actions (little things)
3. S safety (emotional safety)
4. E excitement !
AMAZING! Good tip!
Weird (sarc!)! It’s almost like those are the same things women want from men, too! Huh.
And if he doesn’t respect u, then what do u do?
@@Hawaiiansky11I’m definitely wanting the same from a man
Become the person you want to attract into your life. Love and respect yourself. Put yourself first. When you start respecting yourself then other people will too. Set boundaries. Don’t settle. A relationship is a two way street.
Fantastic!! I appreciate your opinion on this. 😊
Sure respect yourself but don’t put yourself first. The world is full of people putting themselves first. It ain’t a happy world!
@@grannygoes7882 I agree and if you always put yourself first you will never have a successful relationship with a man cause a man is also a priority when it comes to a relationship but yes a relationship goes both ways as well
You can’t always put yourself first when your in a relationship cause that shows a man that your all about yourself and not him as well yes relationships goes both ways but not always about you you have to show them they are as important to you as your important to them
(This is in response to EVERYONE, use of “you” not toward the poster) Become the person you want to BE, not attract. Become your best self. It will take your whole life. This will be a shifting goal as new opportunities and challenges show up. The point is, YOU show up, because life will. Being of service, with your best self and your inherent gifts, is the only way. The only time we ruminate about relationships is when we ourselves know we aren’t taking responsibility and action for our part in service to THE WORLD. Don’t bog the world down with a narcissistic preoccupation around with keeping a relational tally on everyone in your life. That goes to dark places whether you realize it or not. Especially damaging is analyzing the MOTIVES of others. Just be YOUR best. Appreciate that life will unfold in more interesting ways than any plan you make. Have aims, yes, but you aren’t in control of anything except your skills, readiness, and flexibility…so serve people, and if you serve your heart passions about how you spend your day, enjoying hard work, you will automatically serve EVERYONE with your unique gifts. We evolved as social animals, so just throwing up one’s hand about men is a cop out. You go it alone and you won’t grow. You need the feedback. You need to be checked around the idea of what you have a right to, vs your responsibilities. If you arent in comminity, romantically or otherwise, you will be talking to yourself. It won’t be pretty. If you don’t have a romantic partner, you should be doing SOMETHING in a group. Have a potluck monthly and invite everyone…people who don’t know each other from all corners of your life. You will connect others and It will make you clean up your house! Join or start a book club, go to church, take a cheap class, go sit in the coffee shop or library…you will get to know your baristas and librarians and then you can invite them to your potluck. Point is, these connections will turn your life down unanticipated paths. Trust me. You cannot predict where meeting/ knowing any particular person might lead your life path. It is very exciting and I have seen random blessings unfold time and time again. The only thing you should want to control is skill building and openness. I’m an introvert and on the spectrum. It is often hard to leave the house, but one has to be smart about the long game…and it is FUN. Never be cynical nor contemptuous. That is the sin of thinking you know everything. I DO think women being cynical about men is a basic misapprehension around differences between sexes’ thinking patterns and brain function. There is scientific data. We are exponentially more complex mammals around child rearing with longest dependence, so no doubt women evolved different thinking patterns and these are hard wired. So my impression is, our youtuber and many others are just trying give helpful hints about different brains.
That is ríght only when you meet an healty person emocionally be careful about the person you accept in your life
Interesting perspective, thanks so much!
As a women, I ask myself, who’s telling the men out there how to respect me, or acknowledge my actions, or make me feel safe? I’m looking for a relationship where we are equal partners who try hard to meet the others needs. I guess I expect to much from the experts, who are all men, to even open their mind, that women have needs too.
I promise there are good guys out there my dear! Don’t give up on love sister. ❤️
There are plenty of female love coaches, and coaches telling men what he has to do.
100% agree. Seems like we have to do so much and the men get away scot-free because they’re a man and don’t have to put effort in.
@@Mat_Shaffermen should be given advice on how to treat women. Most of these videos are usually about what to do for a man.
Amen❤
I’m in a journey to make my husband to fall in love again with me of almost 25 years of marriage. Those thing I use to do long ago and he was an amazing lover and husband. A decade ago I notes him distant and I keep wondering why, now I finely know. There are two thing you mentioned I was wasn’t doing any more. You opens my eyes and I’m so grateful to you and God for being the answer to my prayer. Blessings. ❤
Love that!
*Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.*
Thanks for sharing!
1. Respect; 2. Acknowledge; 3. Safety; 4. Excitement
Thanks so much for your feedback!