4 things no one tells you about dealing with narcissists
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
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There’s no justice and consequences. Only heart break. Never be part of what is not in your control.
Best to be a good team player, not have all control that will make us like what we fear and wanted to get away from. Just my opinion
You can only control yourself. It’s not healthy to try to control others.
Self control is the goal 😉
Unfortunately is a huge problem when narcisist insist to harm or causing problems to others. It’s very sad situations, that’s why I decided to understand why I’m so attractive to narcisist people. Maybe because I need to heal myself. Thank you so much Dr Ramani, peace and blessings to everyone 🙏
Great advice to yourself and me
I think also, even In my case with an Older Narc sister, who was abusive & would be again, If given the opportunity, It’s kind of like You needing to learn to be strong & stand up for yourself. That’s the lesson we need to learn out of It. Not to be anyone’s door mat. 😉
Codependency doesn’t have a good boundary 😉
My mother was raised by a narcissist. She consistently chose narcissistic partners. I was raised by a revolving door of narcissists and an abused woman. I became an abused woman.
When you are raised IN it, it is your DEFAULT mode. It took me therapy to relearn my default… to reinvent _my normal_.
The one thing a healthy friend pointed put to me was “If you were raised in a healthy family dynamic, unhealthy would be weird to you. But it’s not. It’s flipped for you.”
There is no shame in counseling. I suggest it for everyone.
I’ve found that the reason why I’ve been attracted to and got stuck with two narcissistic people in romantic relationships is because I didn’t feel good about myself. They were so full of themselves and thought their crap didn’t stink, so I figured that meant I couldn’t be that ugly, fat, dumb etc. my lack of confidence led me to be with people on the other end of the spectrum. And unsurprisingly, it was really hard to leave them even though I knew it wasn’t healthy.
Everyone..have a wonderful day..blessings and much love to you all ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Same to you ❤
The sad and frustrating part is that people believe the lies narcissists tell but they don’t believe the truth.
AMEN!
I like to add a “yet”, to that.
ETA: Eventually, an inevitably, the narcissist will reveal their true nature, one way or another.
They intentionally make sure to be outlandish enough to make sure no one would ever believe us.
Trust me I jnow😢
@p.w.352 karmic satisfaction would be –
that the narc will be seen, and exposed for the contemptuous a55hole that he is.
Do people really see through the narc mask. Such as his family? Does his mom and daughters know and just accept that he’s a horrible person?
He’s an only child and his mom will never say her son is dangerously evil.
He is THE ONLY golden, scapegoat, narc son.
The pedestal is so high, it’s nauseating.
I have no interest in whoever my ex husband’s new partner will be. My focus/priority is to keep my relationship with my three kids (two still live with him) as healthy and solid as possible.
His narcissistic behaviors can implode himself. I just don’t want my kids to repeat what he does and thinks it’s ok.
I am who I am naturally which is what I want my kids to see as the “real” me. As an Empath, I never have any desire to ever bring someone down or to hurt them.
I realized more over these past years since being separated from him. There is no manual to learn what I learned.
Thank goodness he never broke me. If anything, he educated me in ways I could never imagine… ❤
They will see who he is with time. Like you said, just focus on being the best you and the best mother. Try your best to avoid any drama or conflict that would be detrimental to their well being.
The ironic thing is when narcissists rage, they feel justified when they aren’t and when we fight back we’re considered out of control and crazy.
Reactive abuse kept me stuck in multiple situations for years. It’s horrific. Outsiders think you’re being petty over a normal situation when there was ongoing psychological torture and a procedural dehumanization of our being. They have no clue, and it’s sick.
Sometimes I can pick out other survivors, out in the wild. 😅
In my experience the best way to win against a narcissist is to simply walk away and not look back. She tried her best to destroy me (seemingly for fun) and used me for years. When I pulled away, she alternated between over the top sexual come-ons and nasty bullying. So when I just walked away…she didn’t know what to do. She seemed to expect me to change my mind, and put pressure on me behind the scenes, but eventually she got bored and moved on to other victims. She recently tried again (putting pressure on me via mutual acquaintances) but I just played dumb and pretended to not be aware.
I agree.. the injustice is so hard to deal with. As terrible as it sounds, I’m counting down the days until I no longer have to coparent.
Power Persevering in Prayers Psalms 1-150🤲🙏🌹😇
I listen to you almost everyday, Dr. Ramani. You have no idea how much you have helped me grow over the last several years I’m so grateful for you.
❤
Agreed ❤
Exactly why I say things like “not my circus not my clowns ” and “I am not responsible for your karma”
“Not my pasture, not my bull [droppings].”
The switching on the charm after attacking you is so insidious. Then, when you are still upset after the encounter, people tell you the narcissist is “the rational one” and you are “too emotional to make wise decisions”, so they have to accept the narcissist’s version of events…
What I find revolting Is when they say, you are holding a grudge because you won’t allow them to keep abusing you. They think they should say the most hurtful things that are also untrue & you should just take it. I remember when we were kids & my older narc sister would slap me in the face. When I told her to stop, the question she would always ask Is, Well, don’t you think you deserve it?” Even Into adult hood, she would operate the same way, because it becomes a bad habit for them & they never grow up.
@@KathieMihindukulasuriya each time I called the police, they sent the same officer. Each time, my ex husband was cool, chill cucumber. Cracking jokes. Lies spilling out like it was nothing. Meanwhile my entire body would be shaking, face red, tears still coming down my face. That officer did not once speak to me alone, without my ex husband directly glaring at me over his shoulder. On one of the house calls, they eventually sent a second officer, who gave me a name and a phone number of a county domestic relations department. My ex was willing to do things that would inadvertently hurt our toddler, and I was trying to absorb the consequences. It was so disgusting.
Injustice is more hurtful than the abuse itself.
Think Abby Petito and what’s his face😢 .
‘Bring the best of yourself to the good people in your life’….words of wisdom!
I REALLY hate bullies.😠
Bullies are insecure.
I was warned by at least 6 people – did I listen?
Nope, I’d still thank them today.
I warned his next victim and it took her 5 years to wake up but at least she’s a friend now ~
Think about your health friends. Get away from these toxic people before you do something you regret or you have a heart attack or some health issue. You win by walking away❤
It is so hard to deal with the Injustice.Narcissists often makes such clownish, embarrassing fools of themselves. Maybe the justice is that the narcissist has to be who they are. They are stuck in this in this in a superficial way of being which doesn’t evolve.
Truly being themselves is the punishment & knowing how much they envy emotionally healthy people who have loving relationships is my joy
@caroleminke6116 They really do envy emotionally healthy people
What really helped me when I was young was the high regard my boss and my landlord had for me. Two Narcs in my life had so thoroughly destroyed my reputation that I was drowning in despair. But my honesty and hard work and the respect I had for other peoples property showed to these people just who I actually was.
Lesson learned. Bullies equal trauma. Thanks
Misogyny is almost always part of the male narcissistic arsenal but we live in a culture where narcissism is our new normal & misogyny is still prevalent. I no longer tolerate disrespect. Period. Proud of angry reactions as healthy but choosing not to respond is my new goal in life!
If I was in a relationship like that now, I’d be secretly filming the abuse. That’s a power people need to be using now that it’s technologically available.
I just started recording myself. No one would ever believe me!