9 different ways narcissists lash out at you
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
I have a narcissistic sister, father and husband they are so predictable it’s almost funny. God save us mortal beings from these evil ones.
Oh bless your heart ☹️. And I thought a narc MIL was bad…
And im struggling with just one already……
I have 3 as well. Not funny at all though. I’m struggling.
Bless your heart. Nothing funny about that but it is predictable
Feels like we’re all outnumbered in our own families
The self-pity was everything. “Woe is me” was his calling card and he always had something to whine about to deflect from criticism.
Yup, that was my husband. Made remarks like “you and the kids gang up on me” or “no one here likes me I guess”
“I’m always the bad guy” Thin skinned and airing of grievances.
“I have ANXIETY!” “This isn’t GOOD for my ANXIETY!” — My mother.
I knew well, a covert malicious victim, too
It’s so annoying when it happens especially when people don’t get it they’re doing it on purpose but people who don’t understand won’t get it and you and up looking like the bad person because you’re being mean or unreasonable etc
Narcissist 9 Punishment Tactics
1. Withholding
2. Rage
3. Passive Agressive/Sulking
4. Public Humiliation
5. Smear Campaigns
6. Menace & Threats
7. Flaunting Their New Life
8. Using Money as a Weapon
9. Doing the I-Told-You-So
Finding freedom from people using these toxic tactics brings a beautiful and pleasant peace.
Thank you for taking notes
You. Nailed. It.
Public humiliation 😂 I think I’m so use to being humiliated by my mother, so much so, I don’t have feelings anymore when she’s doing it now 🥲
Money as a weapon! Yeass!!! 🙌 all the time.. all the time.. 🥲
My whole marriage was a punishment. He withheld affection, sex, conversation, and even eye contact. When I told him I had to leave, he threatened to cast me as “an unfit mother.” Pure hell. I’m finally out.
So glad you’re out. My ex also withheld sex and affection. He used sex as power over me. Deeply damaging hell. I had another that just withheld sex but not affection, so you’d be confused all the time. I know why he did it now, to get back at me for having a career while he was an unemployed bum. I wish more people would realise this. These men don’t care about sex at all. It’s all about power.
Well done both of you, I had all this and the one I cannot forget is the spitting in my face, I cannot believe I am free of it or that I couldn’t get out sooner x
Whoa withholding eye contact is spot on. When you’re no longer useful for them, they can’t wait to get outta there. I used to think I was boring them.
They hate it when you withhold eye contact and stay calm ….
@@Startupsandsushi triangulating by love bombing the cat or dog, while withholding any recognition of your existing. Not that I’d know.
The punishment is endless in a narcissistic relationship. I have been punished all my life. I finally realized I had to leave the toxic family to save my mental health. No contact is the only way to go.
I’m an orphan by choice too.
Getting them out of your mind scape is the final battle as far as I can tell? You are not alone.
Yep. It still hurts so bad. 😪
Sad but true. Same here.
The last punishment I received was in 2018. I finally put my foot down & said I wasn’t putting up with their abuse anymore.🦶 Family mobbing. They made up a bunch of 🤥 lies about me at a repast. They were jealous because I was in a new relationship & happy. After they all participated in this, they tried acting like they were surprised I cut them off.
The first way the narcissist punishes you is by existing.
🤣😂
😂 LOL 😂
Oh that’s good!!!!!
However, very sad but…
VERY true.
👉💯 💔 💯👈
Ahhhh. Dark humor. My fav. Thank you.
😂😂😂
And by giving you life. 😮
The worst part is they punish you for all the wrong things they did to you
Punish you for figuring them out.. punish you for not bowing to their toxic system.. punish you for holding them accountable.. punish you for the truth.. punish you for not letting them exploit you.. punish you for telling them no.. punish you because they are jealous of your light.. punish you because you rise legitimately and they don’t.. punish you for not admiring them or their life.. punish you for their faults.. punish you for setting boundaries.. for flourishing after they left or removed you and expected you to be miserable ..
Yep, projective identification
You nailed it! There’s no end to reasons they will find to punish u!! It’s exhausting and soul burning!
Yes, yes, yes, I’ve experienced all that from my ex-narc 😢
Omgosh 👍
They do it and punish you!!
Yessss all of this!
A Narcissist is cruel! They have ABSOLUTELY NO EMPATHY! The lies they tell to cover their actions is astounding and unfortunately they are extremely good at fooling others. Unless you are the target, it’s hard to get just how evil these people really are…prayers for all who suffer from Narcissistic Abuse. Trying to navigate their behavior and deal with them is an enormous challenge and difficult to survive 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
The only one in my family who understands my problems with dealing with a narc is my sister who has lived with the a whole (sic) for over 25 years. After some major surgery she had me stay at her house for three days. Her husband was as rude as he could be. Fortunately he is dying of cancer and refused to undergo any more treatment. He should have died 20 years ago but refused to stop breathing. His daughters tell me they have no idea who will attend his funeral…
That’s actully not true. They HAVE empathy… the true thing is they DON’T WANT TO FEEL empathy or behave in an appropriate way. It’s to HARD and BORING for them. Why do you think they are great at manipulating? – bc they know how the person feel or think about sth! They use their empathy for bad and they don’t want to use their conscience. Instead they just let their (negative) feelings run free. Imo their mind is rotten
I agree with you about narcissist’s being cruel and having absolute no empathy . I have experienced that cruelty myself , its the most horrible experience I had with a men.
my Sibling alwaYs advised” dress up for a great restaurant” before his PUBLIC HUMILIATIONS ( thanks, bro)
Yeah I dated a narcissist & I tell u what he tried all these💩 of me, however I turned it around & he didn’t like it!! I don’t back down to no one!! Period…👍
One of the hardest parts of being raised by a narcissist is that they constantly chip away at your sense of self. You grow up feeling that you can’t trust your own experiences and perceptions.
That’s the worst part. Learning more and more about myself again. Praying for all of our healing.
Exactly.
trueeeee
Facts I was brought up by
mum who is a narcissist.. my trust was broken at such a young age by her and I couldn’t trust other people or have my own opinion or say for many many years.. Jesus honestly saved me and she is still saying to me that I’m not really a Christian trying to be little me ever chance she gets to make me doubt myself, it’s so evil.
Having had such a parent and three siblings I experienced and saw the type of damage this type of parent does short term and long term. And according to them you are the one with the problem.
They pretend they’re calm while they try to get you to flip out. Knowing exactly what they’re doing.
The cool calm collected smirk……
Yes agree with you when other people are around they act normal
Yes !!
Yes!
Yes! That inhuman, cold smugness when they say and do whatever they can to make you lose control while appearing to be so ‘in control of their emotions’, which is to say what they are feeling when they are feeding off of your emotional anguish and powerlessness.
I just left my narcissistic husband on Feb 6 after 5 years of hell as he started abusing me physically in addition to mentally, emotionally and financially. Now he has to deal with law enforcement. I’m FINALLY FREE! Watching your videos is helping me from going back to him. Whenever I feel weak, I watch your videos. Your channel is one of 2 channels I watch on YouTube daily on Narcissism. Thank you so much for your YouTube channel!
I am so happy for you! You are a brave woman. Don’t go back no matter what. It will only get worse and ruin your life. There are normal people out there that will give you a happy life.
Dina, listen to my song, Deena. Its on my album ” Robin Fox I See Stars The Trance Album ” I hope you are like Deena and me, strong and happy! Thanks
Please never ever go back to anyone who physically hit you and if he was narcissistic, please stay away forever. I am sorry to hear what you had to go through. They don’t change. My friend of 30 years, a narcissist, I had to exit from friendship this month, as she claimed she changed 7th time and she didn’t.
I’m so relieved to hear that you got away from that monster.
I was in a 5 year relationship with a narc…The Stress is … always.
59 and single and staying that way.
I might adopt a rescue 🐈 though.
@@pamelahaze3211 Congrats! So Proud of you to wall away after 5 years of living with a Narc. and Yes, why not adopt a Rescue 🐈and enjoy the Unconditional Love they give us all.
The silent treatment is definitely the punishment I got from my mother.
Same. The excuse is she’s busy or tired
I told a narcissistic person in my life that I felt bullied by their actions, not that they were a bully, mind you. They responded by going full on scorched earth trying to ruin my life and then did the shocked Pikachu face when I cut them off for good. My anxiety has vastly improved since then!
I’ve done that recently and they’ve gone all revenge on me, blame shifted, flying monkeys,silent treatment, ignoring me. Passive aggressiveness,
Same here – showed herself to be absolutely vile and tried everything she could to ruin my life.
She failed miserably and I’m now remarried and couldn’t be happier.
Tell them a sure way to go to hell being one
It’s like Pokémon cards. Once we know how they Play the game….we have a hidden card up the sleeve.
Which is to just leave the relationship/job/friendships/church/clique/ whatever.
True friends always come back around.❤❤❤
@@willriley6964I am so happy for you 🎉
Life with a narcissis, not necessarily a spouse, is a special kind of hell.
You don’t even have to do anything at all for a narcissist to punish you. They can have ongoing campaigns behind your back trying every way they can to harm you.
They lash out for no reason. They start an argument so they can put on the defense, and then say ” What’s the matter with you ? “They look for ways to start an argument so you’ll defend yourself. They bully with intimidation. My husband began these behaviors 3 months after our wedding. I had to ask for intimacy, and he became increasingly indifferent towards me; withholding affection and information. It was very gradual. He would be volatile if I questioned how I felt. He lied to me from the very beginning about having a child. He repeatedly denied having a child, even though I knew the truth. He enjoyed shaming me for something in my past Before I even knew him. He would never tell Me anything about his life when I asked him directly. He was very evasive about anything I asked him. It was like a little game for him withholding information from me. He would try to intimidate me by standing in my immediate space and looking at me peering over his glasses with raised eyebrows. I would just look at him like – “What’s Your problem?”. He knew he didn’t get away with intimidating me at that particular time. He would speak to me undermining me like I didn’t understand or like he was trying to explain something to me like a child. He made demeaning remarks. Most of the time I just didn’t react because I knew he was looking for a confrontation. But he liked to Try to pick an argument. Most of the time, I just didn’t react and ignored it. I figured it wasn’t worth trying to defend myself because it was just a game he played. And I didn’t like confrontation either. I would do anything to avoid an argument, because I’ve always been a peacemaker my whole life in all of my relationships. Sometimes if tried to start an argument, I would apologize and say, “Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.”
Edit: so they can put ‘you’ on the defense.
Agree—pulled out of a family vacation for no reason at all. There will not be another invite.
They stop touching you and or stop communicating unless you are staying within that narrow band of acceptable behaviors…
My sister had been murdered, one night while eating dinner short after her death I started to cry, my husband said to me “What happened a fly just drop dead”. Right in front of my children.
When my mom passed away, he was on a company medical event in California. I had to call a private number to get in touch with him. The person had to take the message and have him call me back. When he called I said , “ My mom died, you need to come home”. He said, “ I can’t come home, I just got here yesterday”. I told him” if you treat me the way you did my sister died, I will divorce you !!! He came home, I had been at the funeral home. I hear some laughter in the back of the room. I turned around to look, he was there talking to family members. He never came up to me while standing at the casket, never came to me, telling me he was there, he never comforted me at all. I was so hurt.
Yes !!! I did divorce him after 25 yrs. of marriage.
He sounds like what my ex husband did to me after my mother died. He is a physician. I divorced him after 20 years of sheer torture
My mother died after suffering for a year, I had to travel 10 hours to another state to care for her. Narc husband came with me at first, but he drove my poor mother crazy so I sent him home for 3 months. After he left I ended up in the hospital for a week. He is so needy and I am tired of his whining and anger. Divorcing very soon!!!
OMG. I am so sorry . This sounds like my narcissist. My son died and the narcissist played it down.
My mom murdered my dad 3 yrs a go . My nark ex only cared about his shoes . Got very good counseling i moved on went to college ..I learned to move on im not responble dor my narks opinion ..guess what blocking is easy😅
They punish you for crimes they committed! They never hold themselves accountable for their own actions!
I heard 2 men part of a collective talking and saying “they put it all on thing” which is a name of mine and I found out last summer what that was.
I’ll add one more: they use your intimate/vulnerable moments, thoughts and feelings against you…
So true. I finally learned not to share any personal info whatsoever as it is thrown back in my face. I’ve chosen to go no contact, but if contact is necessary, best to keep it short, vague and superficial
@@Kerri7021so true
100%
I’m done with the narcs in my life. Zero contact is the way to go.