Why do I feel so replaceable after a narcissistic relationship?
Are you haunted by the fear that the narcissist’s new partner is getting the “better version” of them? Or that you were never enough to begin with? This video dives into the unsettling fear of being replaced—and why it keeps so many people stuck in toxic relationships.
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
You may feel replaceable because they undermined everything you tried to accomplish. Initially, they wanted no one but you. But eventually, they wanted anyone but you. Which may have made you feel unwanted, insignificant, irrelevant. But do not let a narcissist define you. They don’t even see you. And they don’t even see themselves.
Well said
💯❤️
You were never the narcissist’s partner. It was just your turn.
oof! This hit hard
Exactly. It was just your turn to learn. Coming to terms with this isn’t easy for most empaths but once you start turning your attention within yourself instead of focusing on them, things will start to change. “Accepting what is” is not just a one time thing, it becomes a way of life once you regain the self love you once gave up.
Truth
Soooooo well said..
This is so planned, so predictable.
It’s just YOUR turn.. 😮😮
Your are the dealer, not the drug. You fail to deliver, they move on to another dealer to get their fix.
Well said !!!! This make me feel good !
Walther White: I am a manufacturer. Not a dealer.
We lose confidence and everything inside..it’s difficult to heal and move on.
Slime analogy so true; you keep trying but keep slipping. Eventually you turn indifferent or move on ( hopefully )
we learn to swim
My narcissistic ex husband literally told me “one false move” and I was out early on, and he reminded me of that often. He compared me to exes but not in a cheating way – more like a cautionary tale. He’d tell me that they were “crazy” and regale me with tales of their crimes. I am bipolar and have OCD (diagnosed) and so he would use these comparison stories to teach by example that one day the “craziness” of his exes became the “one false move” and they were out without a second thought. I spent 7 years prostrate to the law and order of his mandates to remain chosen, even after he took all of my money and became sexually violent, to make sure I wasn’t too “crazy” and my “one false move” didn’t evict me from him. I am still trying to figure out how not to feel like “one false move” will get me dumped by my new relationship 8 years later, as wonderful as my new boyfriend is, AND the fact that we’ve actually been friends for 25 years and he’d never just discard me for one little thing, because it’s what was taught to me in my marriage.
Comparison is indeed the thief of joy. We often feel replaceable and disposable post-narcissistic break up because we are, replaceable. Narcissists are strictly transactional therefore there is zero opportunity for unconditional love.
We must strive to be something more than simply someone else’s narcissistic supply.
The true question
‘is this the best that I can do’? ‘Is my love being reciprocated’?
OMG! my childhood. Everyone was better than me. I was let known that I was never good enough. How bloody sad is that?
I went no contact almost for a year, i cried less, but today now im crying, it really takes a lot time to swallow the truth and the trauma.
Go ahead and cry all you need to. It is a reminder that , although you are wounded, you have a conscience and a soul. Best wishes.
My ex-husband was a serial cheater. I blame myself for blaming, shaming and guilting him. He started a new relationship before we were divorced. He never wanted to do anything with me once he came home from work, but when he told me he was “done” he said it didn’t help that we never did anything together. Why? After 30 years together.
I’m so thankful to finally hear someone articulate this so well. I’ve watched a narcissist in my own life run rough-shod over her friends, continually chewing people up and spitting them out. The “replacement” is always put on a pedestal – until they aren’t.
In the beginning, this is one of the ways that the narcissist reeled me in…. By making me feel like I could please them in a way that no one else could… I was special and that is something that I always wanted to feel, was special and chosen because I wasn’t chosen by my family during an early childhood.
This was all a game though …. A fictitious show to gain my trust and put me in a position of vulnerability so they could rip the rug from underneath me at my weakest point and after I had surrendered everything to them.
Did he discarded u ?? I was special to him..but ultimately i am no one😢
@ he discarded me emotionally when I was in the relationship with him, so I made the best decision of my life, and I left.
That was about 12 years ago now, and I just heard from the state commissioners office saying that he wants to have my domestic violence case against him expunged . Trust me, I will fight till my last breath to tell the judge I don’t think that should happen with his pattern of abuse.
You are someone, it might be hard to see now, but I promise it is a blessing that he is showing you his true colors now… find someone who values, respects, and honors you at all times and start with yourself. You are the one you’ve been waiting for. peace and love to you ❤️
@@Sincerelystephanie1 oh my god..u will win darling u will..
I was in a relationship with a boy who is a narcissistic .He got too many girlfrnds and they know abt him more than me..i crid and told him please be with limits.but he said i am crazy and overthinking they are just friends..if i caught him cheating he was never willing to accept ..he twisted the stories upside down..I cried i begged . he was the one who coming after me and he made me emotionally vulnerable and addicted.But when i tried to make thing solved he never let me to.he made my calls busy .he was continuously flirting with other girls openly in fb saying they are just friend..i am falsely accusing him.
I told him my parents are getting me proposals please talk to them as i love u..he simply said .”.ok marry that guy and get used..Seems U had a relationship with him while having me”.i was collapsed really..i cried begged and asked why he did this to me.he said ‘:i am empty …go to hell..”
Then i went no contact ..but he again contacted me and repeated that hurting cycle..I got again trapped..He told me I am nt at fault , u r the one who left me i am not..Again got late night calls with other girls saying just frnds ignoring my calls.
I asked him clearly if things go like this who am i to u?
He said ” plz dont eat my brains ..i dont know”
”Okay i am wrong you r right, now plz shutup”
I cried and tried to give him validation and clarification .But he ignored me.
He attracted me to him like a fairy and gave me fantasies ..I cant imagine a world without him..i begged him to block me..but he is not doing that also..
He ate me alive..i am dying inside ..now he acts like victim.i am feeling guilty .
He was a cocaine addictor..i thought i can heal him because he was really loving at the beginning ..But all invain..now i am no one
I wish both of us will find our peace.plz be safe darling …i am with u
Once you see triangulation at work in a relationship a friendship believe your dealing with a manipulator.
I was told stuff like “no one will love you like I do” ” good luck finding someone like me” etc. It was like one false move and in comes Jimmy.
There’s no slap in the face after being disposed of after decades of love and loyalty you show them then being automatically replaced.
After a 23 year marriage of total love and devotion and having just retired, to my shock and awe he announced our marriage was over, he got a new job and a new “love” who he was openly love bombing …he stated he was done with me. Up until then, he had been covert – EVERYONE who knew us was shocked.
He became passive aggressive turning towards active aggressive, so I was advised to leave for my safety and sanity. BUT, now he’s sitting with all our marital assets and all I have is SS and a loving family who took me in. After 5 months of no contact, he continues to ignore the 50/50 separation agreement and I have nothing to begin a new life with. Leaving a narcissist is very difficult when they’ve moved on. I feel he’s not going to do anything he’s not legally forced to and that takes money, lots of money. 😮
@@pfolk2161 the executor of my late mothers will is withholding our inheritance. so similar
@@pfolk2161 sorry. better lawyer up.
Amazing video. I wake up hoping it was just a bad dream but it’s reality, my girlfriend has left me. No matter how much I tell myself to move forward, my heart refuses to let go. I just want to turn back time and hold onto her one more time
I know that feeling and it’s one of the hardest things to face but i know someone who can help you navigate this pain and bring back your ex. I used her to get my ex back after she breakup with me
Oh, really? Can this person help me to get my partner back to me?
Yes, Suzanne Ann Walters is a very powerful spiritual counselor who can help you get your ex back
How can i reach her pls?
You can find her online by researching her name
This is absolutely accurate, and yes, we are for them replaceable like an object and never enough. A very sad truth. Thank you, Dr. Ramani for helping us see this clearly and understand these dynamics to be able to protect ourselves better❤❤❤
Thank you Dr. Ramani for your help to radically accept the reality 😊
I think the silent treatment is a way to let someone know they are not enough. My ex never explicitly said “you are not enough” or hinted at others being better. He simply ignored me.
Being level 1 Autistic I never understood how double and evil meaning things narcs and neurotypicals say
My ex said things
“Everything in life is business”
I took that as we all have to work so hard to provide for ourselves so everything revovles around work
NOT
That literally all people are a business transaction to him
“I got tired of her, I’m the kind of person who always needs something else”
I took that as issues reached a point of no resolution in his former relationships, or new he deserved better and life has many new things to keep discovering
NOT
That he just gets bored or tired of absolutely everyone and everything and will move onto the next new shiny person or dog or situation or material possession whenever he feels like it
“Everything in my mind is backwards”
I took that as he’s dyslexic and struggles to communicate his feelings or ideas
NOT
That this is his way to never be held accountable or responsible for anything bc he’s always innocent and doesn’t know what he did or why it’s a big deal or sounds like that’s my problem or this conversation is draining or he doen’t understand or other sly avoidant tactics
“I can’t give you sex”
I took as he was busy or stressed at work or not feeling well
NOT
He literally would withhold sex the entire relationship, never initiate sex, not flirt, not do anything romantic ever
“Just to fill the time”
I took to get out there and make time for people
NOT
Any and all situation is meaningless to him and all people are there to just entertain and fill his time
Looking back on all my relationships it’s astonishing to see how my positivity and there convenient inability to express what they Really mean is grounds for daily toxic unsolvable garbage that makes it obvious no relationship is going to be as great as we want or dream and better to dodge the bullet entirely
Who has ingrained in us we must have a partner to be happy….