How can you HEAL the MOTHER/FATHER wound?
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
You need to re-parent yourself. Become the parent that you never had for yourself. Also, become the parent you never had for your own child. It’s very healing.
♥️🌻
And find a good therapist to guide you through the process. you won’t be able to do it alone.
So right. I have got much better at this is the last few years.
Yes it is❤❤❤❤🎉
This has been my entire life struggle, trying not to become like my parents. But at 35, after being a mother to two, I still find it hard to heal. I am going to see a psychologist, but I am scared of being dismissed as just being oversensitive, because in India for most, as long as an abuse is not physical, it’s not an abuse.
Healing is continuous process
I’m still healing from the emotional wounds inflicted upon me by my father and the fear of becoming like him is so overwhelming and a heavy burden to carry, hence why I never decided to have any kids.
Me too
My oldest brother passed away at 51 years old. He refused to have children. Now I know why. Plus figured he didn’t want the responsibility. He stayed single more than he was married. He married twice one lasted 6 months the other 5 years until his death. I grieve just sharing this.
@@SherryTomlinson-r2y my deepest condolences
This is my story as well. I have dogs and it really works for me. I love them unconditionally and Malignant mother can not hurt and triangulate them
Thank you, Dr. Ramani. It ends with me, but I’m still working on setting boundaries. Financial reasons keep me around, but I’m actively reparenting myself. Your insights have made me more observant and aware of abuse that I didn’t see before. I no longer give out the benefit of the doubt or accept victim cards—it’s a choice we make. Thanks for helping me see that.
As a survivor of lifelong Narcissists abuse, it seems like all relationships are exhausting.
I think we have nothing more to give, I struggle with this myself, we cannot give anymore so we cannot play circus(which is what relationships feel like)
@@kayleeposthumus3856 💯% agree.
Praying for all survivors of this insidious modern day “pandemic”.
@@psalm148.1 Truly said. It’s actually a pandemic. Don’t know we are lucky or unlucky for undertaking the issue. Sometimes it feels ignorance was okay too.
@psalm148.1 i feel you and pray for alö of us
@@meghasanyal4861I feel this! I regret “knowing” I see no point (for me personally, not for others) in knowing all this stuff cause I’m suffering, probably more so now
That was definitely me . I was left with feeling the only option was to have low or No expectations. As a child it never even occured to me I had , any rights at all
THIS !!!!
I’m so sorry. Me too. That’s how I felt. No rights, no respected boundaries.
Yes!!
About a decade ago, the woman who raised me told me, “You’ve been insulting me YOUR ENTIRE LIFE” I couldn’t believe a mother would say that to her child. I asked her, if she felt that way, why didn’t she have an abortion when she found out she was pregnant with me? Unsurprisingly, I received no answer.
Thank you for your priceless wisdom ❤.
Who else have both?
👆
I had both. One died. Mother still alive.
Both and both siblings AND the rest of the extended family (some of them were also my caregivers)!!! AND the whole workplace…
Here
Everyone…have a wonderful day…blessings and much love to you all ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Please help me…The Narssistic Familiy FORCED ME TO EAT in my 45kg with their MEDICAL CULD.,who MANIPULATED ME INTO THE BLAMED SCAPEGOAT..I am a IDEPENDEND ADULT, WHO HAVE A LEGALL RIGT to have a AUNTENTIC FREDOM to follow the ESOTERIC MEDICINE…then how can i ESSCAPE this TOXIC SITUATION? Thanks for your advice.❤
Both of my parents were narc : father toxic and my mother had BPD. I was relieved when they passed away, sad and shocking as it is to say! My brother is a toxic narc now and we are estranged.
Me ❤️🩹 2
Me too❤
Totally agree with you Dr Ramani. That’s really how I see this A parent wound and after awhile, to me , forgiveness is really letting go of the hurt and don’t investigate get any more. I feel better when I respond to any of the maladaptive problems with them is civil and appropriate voicing myself to a realistic and true of me and my character. No more character assassinations or verbal abuse. Just leave their presence and don’t get engaged into trying to figure out what the hell they are doing, saying ect. Already investigated. Done. No more wasting my mental and emotional energy over trying to figure out WHY and How they are/ do. I’ve started to relax a little more. I don’t want any more trauma drama. Thank you Dr Ramani ❤
Well stated: “Forgiveness is letting go of the hurt and not investigate it anymore.” I’m in my 7th year of “healing” and only now understanding they are sick and I don’t need to research or understand any more about them than I do. It’s the way it is, and I am free of the enmeshment that continues to drive the family connections. Is this liberation?! ❤
Best decision I’ve made- having no kids in this lifetime. So the cycle has ended with me!🙏✨
I did the same… I wonder how many of us are childless by choice because of this reason.
Same 🙌🏽
Wow this came at the right time. I’m a 47 year old single nurse who lives with a cat. Just cut a lot of old friends and family off due to decades of difficulty. My mother was the narcissist in my family of origin, my father didn’t step up to her in my defense – he was passive. She was a highly successful executive who travelled internationally. She bashed me down a lot. Today I am free. But I had to cut ties to get free. It took me years to get brave enough to finally do so and to do so with love and peace. I sent the final email yesterday and feel relief. I read a book called Mother Hunger which helped me a lot. Peace to all. ☮️💜
❤I hear you Julie same with me …freedom is best especially with a shocking mum
I hear you too Julie. My story is just the reversed one (narc father, passive mother until their divorce). I am 52, two (remaining) cats ☺️ and alone, cut ties with uncaring ‘friends’ and family years ago. My mom passed in 2012 and my father in 2018 (after 25 years no contact), and then I finally cut ties with my twin sister and brother because they were behaving like my heartless narc father.
It is peaceful now. And I wish that for you too. We are good, we are kind, we are important, we matter. We were just with the wrong crowd.
Now that we have cleared our space, the right people can come in. 💖💫
Similar story, be well 💜
@@MisssMolly I feel so much compassion for your comment and the other responses as well. It makes me feel understood. It’s been a long time of feeling so suppressed and oppressed – no one wants to admit they came from a family like that. I used to hide it and suffer. Owning the truth sets us free. May peace be with you always. ✨
@@MisssMolly my brother doesn’t talk to me so I understand that too.
Today I go pick up my factory-ordered pink Jeep, my dream vehicle. The last time I had a new Jeep was back in 2006 and my husband bought it for me. All week I’ve been having very debilitating thoughts about not being good enough and also hypervigilance about it being stolen or damaged. My mother was very jealous of my artistic talents and was always in competition with me. She was also an alcoholic and was often terrifying. Thanks to Dr. Ramani I am able to begin to put these feelings where they belong. And thanks to my husband who is always there to talk this through with me and help cheer me on.
Enjoy your brand new pink Jeep and your healing knowledge!
I showed this to my therapist today and I think it helped communicate what I feel I’m going through in my healing process. It’s been hard for me to pinpoint the dots and bring them together and I have felt like I’ve failed to be able to express what the dots are and how they connect. This video helped me identify and connect a lot of those dots.
The only difference for me is that my mom has never tried to be my friend. She wanted a boy and the fact that I’m not a boy meant that my mere existence is a disappointment to her and she has reinforced that displeasure with me throughout my entire life.
Nrn2Please help me…The Narssistic Familiy FORCED ME TO EAT in my 45kg with their MEDICAL CULD.,who MANIPULATED ME INTO THE BLAMED SCAPEGOAT..I am a IDEPENDEND ADULT, WHO HAVE A LEGALL RIGT to have a AUNTENTIC FREDOM to follow the ESOTERIC MEDICINE…then how can i ESSCAPE this TOXIC SITUATION? Thanks for your advice.❤
My father was an alcoholic, but he was the more functional parent. My shrink says that’s only part of the problem, I started being an over achiever thinking that was the way to be seen and fixing the chaos around me. My siblings and I are still struggling. I think I was the luckiest one. Honestly, I only feel safe when I’m alone.
This is 💯 my mother and father. Disengaging from it, building my coherent narrative, not blaming myself, validating myself and prioritizing my well being. Thank you Dr Ramani ❤
“The healing starts when you start connecting the dots”. I couldn’t agree more
I began looking into each generation and am able to trace the trauma back to my Cree/Metis ancestors. The trauma is truly horrific. I’m exhausted, but proud to be the one to break the cycle. I hope I am making my ancestors proud.