How narcissistic relationships STEAL your SIMPLE JOYS…
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
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❤ 1st comment – ive changed (comments from my friends, family) & not in a good way. I realized i never smile or laugh anymore.
Same here.
I used to laugh so much but it’s very rare now.
I’ve become numb and suspicious.
@@sharicoburn5475 I’m trying to focus on my senses at the moment by experiencing the little things in life anew… Enjoying every meal, the sun on my skin, the distant sounds at sunset & when depressed + can’t go out, Pinterest serves me aesthetic photos of sunsets, sunflowers (it’s not as easy…) We’ll eventually find joy in the things we used to love – just that for now, let’s take a day at a time & we’ll get there 💞 I also wish you all the very best in life, love & may your authentic self burn brighter than ever.
There’s no joy at all. Only anxiety and heart break. How much ever strong we are it’s very difficult to handle them.
Anxiety is the truth. Never dealt with this before I met my ex. Now I have it. And it makes it a struggle to drive cause I get in my head.
It takes a lot out of us…. ((I be taking them mushrooms tho…help with the resilience))
HEAVY stuff. Sad.
Im sorry your feeling down both physically and mentally Doc😔 Get well soon and may you heal greatly❤❤❤
Daddy would always find a way to cause a scene at any family event if enough attention wasn’t paid to him.
Sounds like my problem child former husband. His mother continually denied she even favored her youngest son, causing my ex to stir up trouble just to refocus any attention on him–done only because he felt so left out. He suffered from lifelong emotional problems for being the odd man out in his family. Your dad creating scenes is quite familiar to me….I witnessed a number of them during my married life.
That was my Mom. Ugh
Narcissists are always miserable. They can’t find fulfilment in anything. Which is why they will try to steal your joy. Misery loves company.
Man if this isn’t the truth
So true.
NEVER , ever enjoyed simple joys n things, there comes the big bad wolf, with its sharp claws to shred it , puncture the happy balloon to come crashing into tears or frustration. Best way decided to disguise happy feelings n take the happy feeling in a discrete zone n enjoyed the happy feeling without anyone knowing.
That’s what I had to do my whole life. Go off by myself, never with other children or adults, where I could be in my own thoughts. Then I just had to be wary of the closed door not being literally kicked open and my healthy boundaries and privacy taken from me too! (Which regrettably happened too frequently!)
Thank you for posting that.
Loss of joy and hope, something I didn’t quite understand til now. Life was full of color, and then it felt like black for many years.
a narcissist will never be or make you happy. this is the very least of what they won’t do for you.
by the time they discard you, or you reverse discard them, they will have almost (if not fully) destroyed any of or all of the following: your mental health, ambition to succeed in life, reputation, relationships with others, finances, physical health, self esteem, ability to trust other people, ability to trust your self to make difficult decisions. in some cases , they may even make you feel suicidal. narcs are dangerous people.
cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁
This was my personal experience. Easily the most toxic experience of my life.
Six months’ mark of no contact and still struggling at times (less and less though). My Mum has recently adopted a puppy who has turned out to be a real game changer to our family. I cannot resist hugging him every hour of the day and he loves it. He is such a bundle of joy, makes me giggle all the time. Mum told me yesterday: “I’m thanking Pedro every day that he is healing you.” (Pedro is the puppy’s name.)
❤That’s so sweet
Pedro sounds wonderful. Cats and dogs have done so much to help me too.
My husband used the dog to manipulate me. He once told me that we could no longer afford him because I didn’t make enough money and we would need to get rid of him.
I called his bluff (I was finally on to him). I never heard that again. In fact, a week later I asked him if he wanted me to start rehomeing him. He said,”No, why would you do that.”
We are now separated. He told me I could keep the dog.
I love my dog. Would never give up on him. I’m so glad he didn’t give me a fight over the dog.
Aww i relate but with cats that visit my garden. Not sure id be here without them x
@@joannhowell582 Glad you kept the dog and not the husband.
I had to stop myself from crying as yet another piece fell into place on my healing journey with your message today. I just went through a typical narcissist experience of several individuals in my life doing their best to ruin a once a year special event for me. I had to fight to maintain my joy during it for 3 days and by day 3 I was exhausted and struggling to keep my joy throughout the event. Now I understand it was in part due to my struggling inwardly to feel safe to even feel that joy!
Lets go down the list. Libido, empathy, love, anger, tears, laughter, passion for games, passion for music, friends, family, safety, tastes, creativity, just for starters. They take things untakeable. Only thing they cant take is my ability to honor what I lose while its not there. Ive had to beg to be allowed to cry Doc.
Hope you get away from them x
I so identify. Yay for freedom from those toxic morons
I’ve never heard anyone else mention the loss of libido. I spent seven years in a marriage to a narcissist, being abused in literally every sense of the word.
Ten years out of that relationship, I’m still broken. It’s as if they took everything that was bright and good and joyful and empathetic about me, from me. I am most definitely NOT the same person I used to be. I mourn the death of my spirit.
All of that I’ve learned to accept. I’m broken beyond repair and that’s just the way it is now, and probably always will be.
What I haven’t learned to accept is my complete aversion to any and all physical contact resulting from years of sexual abuse, violence and r@pe. It’s been ten years and I can’t stand close physical proximity, hugs and touches. Kissing, hugging and ESPECIALLY s3x are, and have been, completely off the table.
Am I the only one that has this problem? Why is this horrible part of being in a relationship with a narcissist not talked about? And if it’s never talked about, never acknowledged, how is anyone supposed to figure out how to fix it?
Dr. Ramani mentioned ONCE about how a narcissist will treat you so badly and then turn around and “ask for hugs“. I guess she was being careful about how she worded it, but the reality is it happened to me, so it must happen to others. And if that’s the case, why is it never spoken of? It makes me feel even more alone and more broken to think that it’s just me.
She’s offered tons of explanations and advice about a million other things, but hardly a mention of something that has ruined my life and distanced me from anyone who might try to love me now.
What I remember is one year every holiday, birthday, Mother’s Day, Valentine’s Day, etc being ruined. I’ve since been re writing the memory of those by making sure they are celebrated. Thank God I had found you Ramani!😊
Narcissists take the joy out of everything because they can’t stand anything that doesn’t revolve around them. Every moment is a reflection of their emptiness.
Yep. If they are basing everything on the external, because they cannot face the internal then how can it end up posotive
They can turn your little moments of joy into devastation with their laser sharp tongue!
Their rage = high magnitude earthquake, and the aftermath can be only a tsunami!
❤❤❤ Love and prayers for you @DoctorRamani and all others, navigating this nightmare🙏
After narcissistic relationships, every joy – big or small – I get to experience ends with a small sigh inaudible to others, and a sudden jolt back to reality of creeping danger.
Don’t EVER feel guilty about even a second of joy! Joy feeds the soul just like water feeds a plant! Dr. R, hope you are feeling better…and I’m jealous about seeing the Northern Lights!
They are spiteful, the ultimate buzzkills. Can’t share anything pleasant with them. They will put you down or act like they don’t care, then behind your back they will mock you or do a smear campaign within an echo chamber. They need like minded people to validate them treating you poorly.
They’re so predictable 🙄
Once you know exactly what they are brace yourself. The smear campaign began years ago. You know something is wrong when people you know don’t want to speak to you. They are bullies and cowards that can’t take you on by themselves so they get everyone they can to bully you.
Totally agree
It’s funny not funny that I thought of my husband as the ultimate buzzkill. Knew he was a malcontent but just recently figured he’s both of those things because he is a narcissist.
8:24 YOU are the Northern Lights every day, bringing the world joy and healing with your support and kindness. There isn’t enough gratitude in the universe to thank you for all you do! Come to Wisconsin and lie under the stars. ✨ It’s so healing to be reminded how vast the universe is and how small I am within it. Makes problems feel small too. You got this!! 🤩
This video really struck me. Some years ago, following my stroke, I had a profound spiritual experience that showed me joy beyond words at one of the most difficult times of my life. When I got back to my “normal” life I let myself get sucked back into my messed-up, people pleasing, screwed up self. Dr. Ramani, you have helped teach me to say “no” to people, including narcissists, who see me as something to use. That’s good and I am grateful. But there is an amazing, beautiful, incredible reality out there, whether it is in the northern lights or what happened to me in my powerful experience, and we deserve to see and feel these good things.
I am holding you in the light.