Most Important Question To Ask Him Before Sleeping Together
FREE Call with Jonathon►
Join My VIP Group for $7–
How Men Choose Their SoulMate (FREE Gift)
Self-Love the Book:
The "What Would Love Do?" Podcast
Recommended Books
Follow Me On Instagram
#jonathonaslay #datingadvice #askhimthisbeforesex
Get Him To Commit Before Sleeping Together (The Dating Vow)
Have you ever heard the saying: Women are the gatekeepers of sex, and men are the gatekeepers of commitment?
The "Dating VOW" Before Sleeping Together
I ___________________ agree to explore the process of getting to know you with the intent to declare something serious in the next 3 to 6 months.
I ___________________ agree to be monogamous sexual while we have regular sex together
I ___________________ agree to not actively seek to meet/date others while we are in this dating process (include taking down dating profile)
I ___________________ agree to speak up if this isn't working for me vs. pulling back, ghosting or disappearing
I ___________________ agree to invest regular time in this process of getting to know you which looks like this _______________
90% of men will bail on this because thousands of women will have sex without any commitment/agreement whatsoever. If all women are banned together (going forward), this will change how men treat/view sex, but in the meantime, if he does agree, you have a better chance of commitment than without it.
I am dating a man who wants to wait till we fall in love. He’s 71 & I am 67. So refreshing after all the years of dating the instant sex creeps, then they ghost!
Hold out ladies it’s so worth it.
Exactly
You believe that at 71!?
@@jonandlizzy I am 67, 71 is in my dating age!
❤️
This is what I’m looking for but I don’t need it.
I wish I had known this information two summers ago when I met a 61yr old who started off sweet and “innocent” but shortly played every game in the book, including ghosting.
I was at higher level of consciousness then, and showed deep compassion, patience and understanding, because he was a two year widower. I was left totally confused. Now, I can apply these teachings on my next prospect. Keep up the heart work! ❤
👍
I dated a widow he was 57 me 49, I unfortunately gave him a huge licence to do anything, because of his situation….it was hell on earth
At 61 .you would have thought they are done with that kind of stuff. That goes to show .
@@patod5392 A book to read FEAST OF MEN – story of a woman’s heart..
Dating widower can be very tricky and play on our empathy. I dated one for 6 months and it took me over a year to recover after the breakup. I was completely f.. d up 😓
You can ask the question, but it depends on their honesty. Most guys out there are not honest at all and are good at pretending that they are serious about commitment.
Maybe they scared to… l don’t no but I guess it’s about finding what we want.
I don’t no what do you think.
FREE Discovery Call with Jonathon► https://jonathonaslay.com/coaching
Jonathan. I am so confused about these men.some of then just talk.for the hell of it.they say one thing and do the other.what the heck.do they realy want .?
Jonathan I give you 👍👍👍I absolutely agree with what you shared here. Can you buy these books 📚 from a bookstore? I often wonder why so many men that go on dating sites are only looking for sex, before even getting to know you as a person. I gave up on wanting to meet someone online because of this. Thanks so much for caring about women. 😄
I have learned over the yeats to talk and listen to what they say and then watch what they do. That will tell you what they really want.
Where are the questions?!? Get to the point! Waste of time, my headphones are dying! Tell me something I don’t know! Why tf else would I click on a video with this this tittle!? Absolute waste of 20 minutes. Doesn’t even start to get to the point until there are less than 3 minutes left in the video. I’m never coming back to this channel.
Ďegrüyter jaçqüeliñe ikc was veŕgeteñweĺķe vraag dat je stelde
People show you who they are. Believe them. Friends first. Watch how they act, clear communication and backup what they promise. . It takes time.
sad thing is they behave rightly and sincerely for ppl they actually do want.
So, I think it’s not so much how they are. Just how they are with YOU and it’s your bad luck you have to see that side of them that they wouldnt have shown someone they actually wanted.
Absolutely 💯…. We have to have a healthy self esteem….to be able to find love u Must love yourself….
Exactly!!! I just don’t understand why friends first (months!!!!) is a dumb idea to most people. Then they complain after the fact when they done gave the cow away. It’s just a bunch of BS to say in the first few months these strangers are relationship material.
@@juliaarambula3153 because if a man is interested in you, he will be disheartened sometimes to learn you just wanna be friends and your mind may or may not change about him, and he might move along. If I show a guy interest and he says let’s be friends first, I would feel the same – bummed.
Anyway there’s no guarantee he is gonna be sincere while being your friend. He may just bide his time and say all the things he knows you wanna hear.
I totally agree. I couldn’t imagine being seen as a “hook-up” at age almost 75 and yet, that happened to me last year. He was deceptive in his intentions but it didn’t take me long to figure it out and he was gone.
Why don’t they just pay for a sex worker? Oh, then they would have to pay for a sex worker.
@@GoOutside321 What I didn’t get was we had a common interest, which was how we met but he seemed more interested in my body than my mind. I look pretty good but I’ve had no work done and I am not an extreme workout granny so I would have expected most men to look to someone much younger for that sort of “companionship.” I’m not rich and he knew that so it was just weird. I really never felt so disrespected in my life.
@@tinalettieri I hear you, I feel you, I know your pain.
@@GoOutside321 thanks but he wasn’t worth any pain. I left and was fine.
I hear you … that’s scary as I’m in my 60’s 🤔🥴
You’re absolutely right, no one is ready for a healthy relationship until they value and respect themselves.
Hmm it really does always comes back to self respect and love, huh?
I knew a man who thought I should have sex with him without him wanting to know much of anything about me. (Well more than one) Seems many older guys act this way. I’ve had a pretty interesting but challenging life. When I talked about what I’m interested in his response was “Oh, you want someone who wants to do what you want to do.” My reply was “no, I want someone who is going in the same direction.”
Same direction exactly!! Wish I could find a woman who wants to set the goals, and achieve then.
I live a boring life compare to others.
@@ladyviking89 wait till you find your partner in crime 😊
Agreed
100%💛! I wish more woman would stop being scared that if they don’t sleep with a man on his terms, they will lose him. It is ok to lose a selfish guy who doesn’t care whether she feels safe enough/ emotionally connected with him to be intimate. I don’t like to blame women but as a woman myself, I do blame them. Please, stop letting men get away with selfishness and disrespect. We make them the way they area
… it’s SO MUCH MORE than just “ok” to lose a selfish guy who doesn’t care.
It’s literally a deliverance, one of the best blessings you can get from up above. This reminder is like a water filter, a strainer if you want. Say no to men who will only drain your energy and your self-worth. There are good men out there !!!
@@silvisil3770 💯%🙌
Let’s be honest. If a man gets upset that you don’t wanna sleep with him when you’re not ready, then that already is your sign to let him go. Right?
@@mlueva1 Exactly! He doesn’t respect you and your feelings.
One guy got quite frisky after our first date so I sent him home with his tail between his legs. The next day I called him to apologise as, although I was polite, I thought I might have come across as too harsh. I apologised and told him I wasn’t like that to which he responded “All the best girls are” so I said “Then you’d best go find yourself one” said goodbye and hung up. He asked me out again several times but I kept declining until he stopped.
Eliminate the riff raff promptly.
Your dating advice only works if you are dealing with an honest man. My last two relationships said they wanted everything I did. They were both lying.
Hello how are you doing?
That’s how my first husband was. He was a pathological liar, and now I’m wondering if he is a narcissist, because I found out all he married me for was my credit cards and having a maid to cook and clean nonstop and if I didn’t agree with that, then I didn’t really love him. He wanted me to go along with his shady ways and I said, sorry, I wasn’t raised like that, so didn’t go along with his schemes. I wanted to divorce him a few days after I got married to him because I found out he was a big liar and phony but my Mom is a strict Catholic and she said I couldn’t divorce him, I made my bed, I got to sleep in it. I stayed with him for seven years and finally, I kicked him out and served him with divorce papers. My second husband was wonderful. He had his faults to be sure, but, we had 30 years of being together before he died 20 months ago. I started dating again six months ago and I guess I shall see where it leads. So far, we’re having a blast and he does things my late husband never wanted to do–like travel and go out to concerts, dance, and other things.
Same here
My last lied too 😟. We have to learn to discern the men we date…vet them to “see” if they are worth our time…self love plays a huge part too…
How long did you wait to have sex with them?
This is precisely why i have remained celibate and not dated at all in 5 years since ending my previous marriage. My ex-husband had secret dating hook up profiles during our marriage and hooked up secretly on the side whilst i lived in a loveless and sexless marriage. Unfortunately my ex husband told me what i wanted to hear and then proceeded to live a secret double life. Trust is so important in a relationship. Honesty and trustworthiness is vital right from the beginning of a relationship. Without it you are living in a lie. Thank you for the great advice. Yes human relationships were so different in the 1980s.
Having good one is enjoyable😃
Shame on the one who requires marriage but does not give love andnpassion. Pure money pump
I am 52 years old and he is 55. For the first time in my life, I am walking in love instead of falling in love. His level of patience is so appreciated! Men always wanted to lay me down instead of lifting me up. Even if this relationship doesn’t work, the level of respect we have for each other is priceless. Pray for us!
So happy for you!
This couldn’t be more similar to my own situation, if I’d have written it myself. I do pray for you and your union…hopefully, you’ll be gracious enough to do the same for me. Blessings upon blessings to you. 🌹
I don’t believe in prayers, it will be what it will be with or without prayers. But I wish you the best a n d its good that you experience a healthy relationship.
@@christineribone9351 I agree
How wonderful for you both 💚🌼🙏
As a woman who has been married for 26 years, I feel I have spent much of it trying to have my husband understand that women feel deeply where men tend to be more visual. It is nice to feel loved, wanted, and respected. You hit it right on the nose saying temptation & sexual instant gratification is out there & I feel it DOES in a sense make women feel devalued as men get a false sense of what sexual intimacy is. Sometimes, no matter what I do sexually, it doesn’t feel enough and it can be frustrating. I’ve also heard ” Well, you two have been married soo long & maybe he’s bored”. Well, I can say, at 50, I am keeping more spicy than ever. If men could try to express their feelings better as opposed to the women always having to get it out, it sure would help a lot. Also, men, if you have a spouse who loves you on a soul level, supports your needs, takes care of you in every way, please tell that person how much they are appreciated, wanted & needed. This is a two way street after all.
honey your marriage lasted 26 years just becasue he did exactly this. were he to act like what you wanted, your marriage would have long ended. let men be men and you be you!
@@amortalbeing Have you had a long relationship is my first question. Second My marriage lasted because I have worked at it & put the time & effort into it. Most people do not and easily give up these days mostly for selfish reasons HONEY!!
I’m not understanding your point? My husband has emotional issues from life sure, but wouldn’t that make you want to do better.
I know YouR Point: “Poor me, I am so good and work so hard and am injusticed. If you have justice, Be Grateful. Me? I’m not happy because I do not Have justice.” …whatever lady
Let me be succinct. It is not all about you. You are not the sun. The world does not revolve around you. Try being more humble and attentive to your man’s thoughts and feelings. You are self absorbed and repelling what you desire.
If you’re dealing with a narcissist, it doesn’t matter what you say, what you do, how much you try to be upfront and honest, narcissist lie and pretend to be exactly what you’re looking for. This only works if you’re dealing with a healthy emotionally quality person.
So true !!!
No substance
Jonathan I don’t know if you got my message or not this is Ethel from Missouri I am now engaged I’m getting married again I have two beautiful stuff children I’ll have and a good relationship with the man I love and he tells me all the time I love you be careful be safe and when he comes home February 14th we are going to start our life together thank you for helping me
I don’t know if you got my message but thanks to you I found my true love we’re going to get married February 14th we’re buying a house together and buying a new car together thank you for you being there for me I like having a big brother on my side
so true…been there!
He told me sex isn’t the important thing . It’s a bonus if it happens . Cuddling , talking , fun activities we enjoy together is more important . Cultivating a friendship . Having up close and personal time only when I become comfortable or desire that .
I wish my guy told me that.
Key takeaways of the video:
1.Intencionally is missing in the dating process
2. Hook ups have replaced the genuine desire for connection and relationships
3. Some women operate from a co-depend perspective and men from narcissist perspective
4. Don’t ever give your power away to men.
5. Pornography and social media has devalue women (or people in general).
6. It takes time to build trust
SPELLING!!
Absolutely ….don’t ever give your power away.
Women have also de valued themselves.
Generally Men’s are not loyal to women, not worth committing into a serious relationship and falling in love is like dating an alien of short term especially Westerners. They just want sex.
I did from being naive as he was a narcissist which I never knew what that was til I learned the hard way by getting hurt, investing too much too soon got blocked & ghosted while he put me in the friendzone along the way..
Just met an Italian man (54 years old) – total “Love Bomber” – I live in California; from the beginning I told him I wasn’t going to jump in bed with him too soon! I thought he understood, went out last week for a drink after he got off work. Seems he couldn’t throw back his drink fast enough whereby he seemed to rush me out to the car because, as he said “I can’t wait to kiss you!” – which we did. During that time, I reminded him I wasn’t going to his place nor was he coming to mine (note: we’ve never been to the other’s residence). Fast forward to Sunday (tonight) — I haven’t heard a peep from him since; and, I saw him on Thursday evening. I am very, very glad I didn’t acquiesce and jump into bed with him during a passionate moment … 🙄
“Using intimacy to create connection is backwards. Connection creates intimacy, because connection presumes trust.” **This was an awesome quote that I read in psychology today probably seven or eight years ago lol unfortunately – I do not have the author’s name so I cannot and WILL NOT take credit for this quote. I photographed it and kept it on my phone so I would never forget it! I’m really enjoying the content on this channel. I was widowed back in 2013 at the age of 46. I had a very nice marriage for 15 years. When I went back out into the dating arena two years later to try to find some companionship I was aghast at what had happened the deterioration in communication, respect and effort. Not to mention character and moral conduct. I could go on and on. A lot of people ask me why I’m not dating or why I haven’t found somebody. I am still a believer that the men do the pursuing and the women do the choosing. A lot of these people that make comments say I am “old school “. I’m not going to suffer in regards to my self-respect and moral character to achieve companionship. I will not do it! I think women have become too overly aggressive and it’s throwing things out of balance. I think it’s confused men and I think it sent the wrong message that they’re entitled to certain things. If God blesses me with a divine connection if someone comes in then that’s wonderful. If not I will be OK because I got through the death and grief of losing my husband and thank God I am doing OK. I am so thankful that I got to experience the deep love devotion and connection that goes along with a successful marriage. Some people go through their entire life and they never find it. I am grateful and consider myself blessed that I was able to experience that once in my life. It has blessed me with wonderful memories.
Building intimacy is not the same as you state “using” intimacy. Connection or spending time with a person doesn’t necessarily create intimacy.
@@JonathonAslay what does create intimacy then? I have zero idea what intimacy is. I’m forty and I can say with confidence I’ve never experienced it 😞
I completely get what you are saying and wholeheartedly agree.
I agree totally
What a beautiful comment. Much appreciated, and thanks for posting it.
I entirely agree that there’s too much emphasis on sex now. We should make a connection with someone and build trust before hopping into bed. Sex seems to be expected nowadays almost immediately😢
My bf and I talked about what we wanted and made sure we were on the same page. Every weekend we’d talk over a nice meal, so the communication was always on spot. We worked through a lot of growth together this way! It really strengthened our relationship.
The question to ask before sex is: Are we on the same page? For example: Do we want a relationship? Both may say yes, but a relationship may mean different things to both of you. So, it’s important to clarify what each of you wants. For example: A relationship might mean shared activities 2-3x a week for you and for the other person, it might mean seeing you whenever they feel like it, which might not be very often.
You do not have sex out of marriage,simple as that!
M
@@TheJuneukthat’s unrealistic!!! Espec in older age as you do t want a man who can’t even get hard! Can’t even show intimate love! That’s very important you just Deni I shed it as if it’s last… it’s on top 3 reasons to be together! Geez 🙄
@@TheJuneukwhat if you don’t married , do you suggest we all be nuns x