Have you experienced NARC-SPLAINING?
Ever feel trapped in a conversation that turns into a one-sided lecture? This video unpacks the exhausting dynamic of “splaining” — especially when it comes from someone with vulnerable narcissistic traits. Learn why they do it, how to recognize it, and how to preserve your sanity when the advice is patronizing, unsolicited, and never-ending.
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
This just happened with me and my baby mother. Trying to narcsplain child support to me that I pay to get joint costudy of my daughter. I didn’t engage, didn’t dive deep, and didn’t explain. I simply said anyways and continued talking to my daughter of how excited i was to go on a field trip with her as her mother tried to verbally abuse and narc rage at me in front of our daughter. About what child support is actually for and apparently, to her, it wasn’t to support our child.
My goodness . This happens to me all the damn time Dr . Ramani .
My husband does this to me , a covert narcissist.
I’m so thankful for ALL your videos .
Thank you , Thank you and Thanks again 😊
Narcissists seem to fall into the Dunning-Kruger effect. It’s like they’ll read a couple of articles and videos and already act like experts on the given subject. They will even try to school actual experts as if they know more than them. They always dismiss others thinking their knowledge is more superior. I remember trying to have a friendly discussion with a narc to which they immediately turned it into an argument even when I presented facts, they start creating their own definitions about certain terms and rewriting the whole subject to their favor.
I have a cousin that does this I love the egg but I’ve learnt to tolerate him and I get a laugh out of it while I school him with knowledge and kindness 😂😂😂😂
It would be impressive if they even read the articles. Usually, it’s just the sensationalized headline.
This is my narcissistic husband. 💯 🤣
One of my coworkers told me that men are more messy than women scientifically proven and that it’s just something wired in women’s brain to not be messy, and I said “would your bed be made with a tidy place if I came over?” And she said no, so I explained that her statement is an assumption and stereotypical, most likely from false information on the internet that was skim read, or just false information from a stereotypical person who wrote the article. Then I told her how my bed and place are always tidy and organized. I make my bed every single morning as part of my routine. This just shows how they really do think they are experts on certain subjects just from reading articles that they probably half fast read, or just read false information they think are facts lol
@elijahhowell118 I’m pretty sure most of the women I’ve dated were NPD or at least very narcissistic, and were all absolute slobs. And I’m quite a clean person. So, definitely not true.
I had one narc explain back to me what I had explained to him the previous weekend as if what he was telling me was brand new information. I just nodded and laughed inside.
My husband does this…..it’s irritating now that I understand his mental defect…….i have defects too but I dont make people avoid me because of it…..im the opposite of my husband
You literally have to just walk away from the ranter or splainer……and who cares if it feels rude…..u will eventually get physically ill if u just keep obsorbing all the negativity they splainer throws onto u…..I know from personal experience as im married to one of these types…….we dont even eat in the same room anymore because every meal was just him going on and on and his voice all raised and the whole deal….I was strong but after two years it started to affect my health.
I have family that do this 😂
Might be part of their mirroring games to do so. It’s very annoying and afterwards it’s easier for them to manipulate.
@@kelcritcarroll This is true however this narc was not significant in my life so it didn’t affect me much more than recognizing it for what it was.
I worked in healthcare food service for 35 years; thankfully when I retired I had someone available to explain how to preheat the oven for a frozen pizza and how to cook said pizza.
A real hero providing that critical splain
😂 perfect
😂😂😂😂 Thanks, it’s nice to be reminded that they CAN at least be amusing sometimes if we can keep our wits about us.
Actually LOL! We would just shrivel up and die without their “expertise”.
That happened to me a lot. My biggest mistake was listening to them and expecting them to stop talking spontaneously. 😅
A person began doing this high speed ‘splaining’ to me a few days ago – ‘narci-insult-spalaining’
and after several minutes I tried to say “Can I tell you the simple thing I sat down here to say?
They stood up to leave in a huff and said – what I have heard for years – all my life – “I’m TOO BUSY!”
So, I got a laugh out of some people listening when I said ‘If you are too busy why did you just waste 5 minutes of our time saying things we all already know?’ They MUST hide the truth, to keep their false illusionary self going, at all costs.
Thanks for the validation. This is why I can’t have a in-depth conversation with my spouse. We only talk about superficial things.
I can’t either- all he does is talk about himself and then asks me if he looks fat and/or like he works out- it’s completely ridiculous
In Ukrainian slang, we call them as “dushnyla” (comes from the word ‘dushnyi’ which means ‘stuffy,’ ‘oppressive,’ or ‘airless) – is someone who’s emotionally heavy, overly intense, and often fixated on minor rules or details. They tend to create an oppressive or joyless atmosphere in conversations or social situations. Imagine someone who always corrects you, argues over unimportant things, or constantly complains, or turns every fun conversation into a lecture.
I don’t have to imagine. 28 years with my narc EX-husband!!!!
I love that how do you pronounce that word?
Ah ha! YOU just described my husband 😅 Thank you ❤️🩹
slava Ukraini❣️
YES! So true!
I’ve experienced this so much with people who have zero education on a topic yet they rant about it like they’re experts. I can’t stand ‘know it alls’. If I don’t know something, I say I don’t know, it’s not that hard. Baffling how some people I know dismiss my own knowledge from years of education and experience in my field, yet they’ll google it and suddenly they know all about it. I don’t bother engaging with these people. I know the truth. Thank you Dr Ramani ❤
I laughed multiple times throughout this video, Dr. Ramani, because you described my covert narc husband, his brother, and father to a T. The “splaining” for them is next level, and since they all have advanced academic degrees it is compounded by their perceived sense of self worth. I’ve learned to tune them out, wear headphones, or leave the room because a “splaining” session can go for a good 10, 15, or 30 minutes at a time. 🙄
Lets get straight narcsplaining is a form of ABUSE
Agreed 100%!!
My mother, she had absolutely no idea what to do and how to do, but she inssisted everytime that she knew and i should do exactly as she said. Unfortunately i believed all those for a long time 😢
I hear you. As a child you do not have a choice. Now you see it and come to your own conclusions. It is a win.
Yes, thank you for sharing that! I was in the same boat…
As a child, I felt like something was off when she started a long tirade and critique of other people. Now I understand…
So Brilliant. WHY did I believe that the narcissists in MY life are the only ones who Splain!? So validating. “Being in a narcissistic relationship is like being locked in a room and being forced to listen to a really boring podcast about an uninteresting topic with a host that has nothing to say.”
My narc husband is a MAJOR SPLAINER! It’s sooo overwhelming, uninteresting, and draining. I feel exhausted after it’s finally over. It’s as if he is not comfortable in stillness and being silent. I strongly feel that silence is scary to a narcissist. They always feel like they have to say something and with that comes the attention and validation seeking.
It’s exhausting and annoying
💯
I was in law school, whilst working in a certain industry. My (now) ex-husband had several questions about traveling across state lines with certain items. I did my research and assured him that as long as we did XY & Z, we wouldn’t break any laws. He sighed, rolled the eyes and called a different source for information. I was beyond insulted and still cannot figure out if he really thought I was that stupid, or just did it to get under my skin. The vacation was a disaster.
The key feature in Narc-splaining is that the narcissist doesn’t talk TO people but more so they talk AT people.
So True!! My father never had a conversation in his life, but he talked AT people EVERY DAY!!
My favourite reaction: “Wow, it’s fascinating how many different areas of expertise you’ve mastered. What did you used to do before you knew everything?”
I recently heard the term “toxic monologuing.” That describes the narc I know. She’s also condescending and interrupts anyone who tries to say something or introduce another subject to discuss. Everything is about herself.