3 normal things that get confused for narcissism
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
Thank you Dr Ramani for all that you do ❤
The overuse of narc/narcissism is an alarming trend because those of us who have survived or are in it and have experienced the abuse and trauma / tortured existence they exact cheapens and invalidates our lived experience. It makes it increasingly easy to dismiss and invalidate true survivors.
100% this. 🎯
Exactly, I know that, personally, I have been told that I am just negative and not moving on. Narcissistic abuse is not the same as being abused by a person who just has narcissistic traits. It’s the equivalent of telling someone suffering from brain cancer that you’ve had headaches in your lifetime, too, but “blaming others makes you just as bad.”
I see it as a double-edged sword. It’s finally being discussed and narcissistic behavior is being more visible with the rise of social media, but like a lot of things it can be mislabeled or mistaken for something else
@@rlowethewitch8417I couldn’t agree more, although the overuse and misuse unfortunately timing wise has coincided with/ followed very closely on the back of the awareness and recognition of what survivors like us have hoped for (many our whole lives).
Words have meaning, just as I refuse to cheapen the unqualified apologies / “sorry” I extend when I make mistakes, or when I say I love someone, or when I use words such as trauma; I do not accept trivialising or eroding the gravity of these examples (by no means an exhaustive list).
The same applies to the wanton labelling of people as narcs – because they’re aholes, or self promoting, or boastful, or cheaters etc etc. doesn’t make them a narc. Diluting the potency of words which are foundational to our hellish experiences being taken seriously, and been given a voice, believed, and understood -whether intentional or not is not acceptable.
Why? Because it undermines and influences / facilitates exactly what all of us have lived and makes it that much easier to discount the real experiences and conflate them with those running their mouths about someone who is simply behaving badly- it enables our stories and struggle and trauma to be minimized and I will make my sentiments around this known and call it out wherever I find it.
Narcissists can be the most vocal about claiming they were the victims of a narcissist, after the actual victim finally learns to draw some boundaries.
We appreciate how immensely effective you spread the word. Ty ♥️
Dr. Ramani thank you so much for what you do. I first found you via Medcircle six or so years ago and have been listening since. I only recently realized that a former friend I had was a covert narcissist. Her hot-and-cold behavior and ghosting left me damaged for many years, and for so long, I completely blamed myself for the friendship ending. Now that I know what was going on I’m focused on healing specifically from that, especially through listening to your videos. Thank you so much. ❤
I have ADHD and I’m also autistic. Many people have called me a narcissist because I fail to pick up on social cues and I get overwhelmed very easily. I know it can come off the wrong way to many people and I’m really trying not to be rude or to be dismissive of anyone. I just have a different way of thinking and feeling. It really does hurt when people judge me without understanding how my brain works. I may not be able to express myself., But I truly do care about others. Since so many people have labeled me a narcissist, I spoke to my therapist, asking if I have narcissistic personality disorder. I was relieved when they said that I don’t, and they told me after evaluating me that I’m neurodivergent. They said that a true narcissist would never even go to therapy worrying if they’re a narcissist. I am though learning to be okay with how I am, even if others don’t always get it.
You certainly write very well. Good luck with your explorations. I have a feeling that you will wind up ahead of the game.
True, but be aware, i have adhd and i have picked up traits from all narcissists around me. They seem to like my empathy and sensitivity..so i learned how to become stoic at times etc….Now got rid of all these people having loving people around me.
Hey, your story really resonates with my experiences and I just wanted to say thank you for posting this.
You sound so much like my son. He is one of the most loving and supportive people I have ever met. He is just as you described and it breaks my heart to see people leave him out and dismiss him as a person.😢
The key is narcissism hurts people they deeply wound them.
Yep. Single or a few random selfish acts over a longer time period don’t make a person a narcissist. It’s a person who makes mistakes. We all do it. As long as we own it and learn from it and don’t repeat it.
I was avoiding labeling him as a narcissist because of how people overuse the word because I thought it was some sort of trend . And I was stuck with the hope that he was going to change because I was refusing to label him for who he is. I realised he was extremely toxic and narcissistic. That’s when I started labelling him for who he truly was and it helped me to deal with the situation.
If I hadn’t experienced being in narcissist relationships, I probably wouldn’t realize how evil full NPD is. Or how hard healing from the damage they cause is. I’m even having to look at my idea of “healing” from a new perspective.
Being with a narcissist and being with someone who is only annoying, is like the difference between having a cold and having a COVID-19 infection. You know it’s not a normal cold because deep inside you feel different, but you also don’t know it is a Covid infection until the symptoms are severe, and in the end, you either beat it or it pulls you into the abyss
After 50 years of “trying to help and support” my sister, I began to see the patterns, and how she used others for her benefit. I could feel her lying to my face and behind my back. Still, she was my sister and I stood strong. Until I could not anymore. I always felt anxiety, guilt and shame after being with her. Then, it hit me. She is not mentally well. I came to you-tube and narcissism jumped off the page. She checked every box. When they are narcissistic, their behavior does not change. They do not see or feel consequences of their bad decisions. We do. And, at first we try to help and “fix” the situation. But it is never enough. And then you feel bad for others who have been financially and/or emotionally drained. Thank you Dr. Ramani! ♥
Thank you for your knowledge and expertise. My mother is a narcissist and I finally cut her off my life.
Narcissists must try to control the narrative and as much of your life experiences as they possibly can, they enlist the help of total strangers to you to push that narrative, it’s totally not normal and definitely not healthy. They’re not annoying, they are soul destroying. Have as little as you possibly can to do with them. 👍
“How you feel afterward”
That is a solid question. 😊
What I’m learning is no matter, what if it isn’t healthy, you can still walk away.
Children can’t…
Mix an immature parent who is also a malignant narcissist and you have a recipe for a disastrous childhood. I’m a survivor of this combo.
You and me both. My father is diagnosed NPD and my mother was his enablers until they had an acrimonious divorce. My father died and basically my mother’s narcissistic hydra head sprouted in its place.
Join the club! My ex-foster parents were both covert narcissistic abusers and one of them also had codependency issues. Yikes.
Degrees of narcissistic behaviors in a person range from A to Z.
I experienced what I experienced from the different folks, family and non family… and they never broke me.
On the contrary… they taught me so many things that one can’t learn in a book or classroom, without them even knowing they made me stronger in so many ways while they faltered. It backfired on them.
I walked away from all of then and never looked back.
I processed the hurt and confusion, and put it away in its proper place, as I live and love life.
Funny ironic how it turned out this way. The Universe has my back, while being so much more knowledgeable. ❤
The “if it feels good ,” do it generation really screwed everything up
Excellent video! I must say it’s good to be annoying. I pride myself on this being raised in a narcissistic family with older brothers! I loved P-ing them off. Now I’m just old and annoying lol. Not always ! Narcissism is very confusing. The key I got on this video is how deeply it hurts us ! Many of us for life! How deep our wounds can be -even destroyed our whole lives. I agree behind every mental illness is narcissism. Maybe one day narcissistic abuse won’t be taken so lightly and addressed for the criminal mental abuse it really is. Maybe one day we will all get it for what it really is!! It’s extremely hard to swallow and face! Yes there are a lot of narcissistic people in our world! AND SURVIVORS!!!🦋
Afterward: “Depleted…” yep, I recognize that feeling with my mother. Likewise, regret at even trying to make pleasant casual conversation. Moreover, I feel like I, specifically am the target of her negativity as she ‘acts’ superficially nicer to my dad, sister and everyone else. My lifetime impression is that she is disingenuous – different from an actor or a spy who have specific objectives – as best I can describe it: she has no mission other than attempting to ‘imitate’ human behavior while concealing from everyone her real thoughts and feelings. For sure as a child, I knew very well that my feelings, my emotions were not wanted. I was angry at myself that I even had feelings and did my best to make them go away. Yep, a child who feels like that has parents with really deep psychological issues.