6 Early Signs of a Narcissistic Relationship (You’ll Miss Them If You’re Not Looking)
Narcissistic relationships rarely start with obvious red flags. In fact, the earliest signs can be subtle, confusing, and easy to rationalize. In this video, you'll learn six early warning signs that often go unnoticed—and why so many people miss them. Understanding these patterns can help you protect yourself before the damage is done.
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
Thank you Dr Ramani for all that you do ❤
Anyone have a time machine? I want to go back 40 years and apply Dr. Ramani’s lessons.
Same here damn 😏🙂
I completely understand what you’re saying and have thought about this with some self-criticism (i.e. ‘I should have known sooner/better’). However, as someone who’s not even mid 30s, I have concluded that I would have needed to be exposed to what Dr. Ramani is talking about at about 6 or 8 years old at the latest to have allowed myself at least 5 to 8 years to fully understand and process this before making major life decisions (college, career, relationships, moving, finances, etc…). I can’t imagine being 8 years old and grieving the harsh realities of this world. To some extent, I am grateful that I didn’t know because it allowed me to formulate my personality independently, despite this exhausting and war-ridden world. As an adult who first heard of Dr. Ramani about 5.5 years ago, it still took me a good 5 years to really GET and ACCEPT this information because I didn’t want to believe just how awful these narcissists are (and we’re not even talking about the other cluster Bs… sigh…). Anyway, I say all that to say, have some self compassion. You didn’t know then, but you do know now, which is worthy of thanking yourself for learning this and doing what you can in the here and now.
Oh me too! Or at least 35 years!
Agreed, my dude.
Yeah me too.
Yes! Say”Why are you being a jerk?” Them:”I am going through all this trouble FOR YOU!”😅
1. Not getting it their way –> Pro tip reschedule a date early one, or change plans
To me, confusion, hot and cold, dismissiveness, and talking very badly about the ex are big things. Also, the wealthy ones would want first-class, priority, VIP treatment all the time, they will book very expensive vacations, while at the same time they fail to ask you how you feel on a regular basis, but they can’t stop talking about them. They can’t enjoy the simple things, the house has to be clean and organized as a 5-star hotel. They compare you to the ex and get you in the mud with all their conflict with others. You start feeling drained. I actually start feeling sick. They talk about other women, to make you feel jealous (triangulation), while love-bombing you, so all these contribute to the confusion, and to me, that’s a big one. Thank you, Dr Ramani, this is so validating, educational, and healing ❤️ ❤❤
If only I had watched this when I was in high school, it would have saved me so much heartache. I’m 31 now, and over 90% of my relationships were with a narcissist. I always thought the same thing “oh maybe I’m just being too judgemental and not giving them a chance”. Nope, I should’ve liatened to my gut.
Be gratefull you are still young.
I had to turn 60 to find the truth.
@@martyvirtue405166 here!
This woman wasn’t making videos when you were in high school more than likely. All of this narcissistic abuse stuff has barely come to light within the last few years. High School definitely needs to have a psychology class in it to teach young kids about this stuff for sure.
@@cryptomaniac2Fair point, and I completely agree! It would be way more helpful than knowing Fibanacci or Pythagoras.
@@AslanKyoya1776
yes i couldnt avoid, but re evaluate all my past relationship
just got out worst one in my life..
i realised which one of them, heavy narc, mild narc, latest one is killing-you-softly-but-guaranteed narc..
maybe 1 or 2 of my ex es were not narc, just normal.. learning actually quiet (no drama, big passion), can mean real love..
I was just so glad he wanted to talk to me, tell me things, talk about books/movies after my first husband that I missed how much of it was a self-aggrandizing monologue.
We are also not taught in school life or the church how to see or act on these things, we are taught to be nice kind forgiving helpful etc…especially as women. We need to be taught how to see it and know that it’s not ok, and that we have every right to say no stand up for ourselves and leave! Thank you Dr Ramani ❤
Facts! 🙌🏾💯
I agree, we as a society act like relationship behavior should come so naturally. What if you grow up with no relationship role models or with less than ideal role models? That’s all the “training” we get! So people like me get into a narcissistic relationship at a very early age and think it’s all “normal” and then realize 35 years later, that it was never normal 🙁
We are all in this together, same sameness ❤
@@GinaTBPL💯 I was 6 when I figured out my mother wasn’t like other mothers. At 17 I began going to therapy and decided not to have kids. I did everything I could to end the cycle of abuse I grew up in and remained in until my late 40’s.
Many teachers are narcs. In school we were taught stuff like: be kind to others n spread a wave of kindness and reform the world.
Such kind of teaching breaks your defenses before narcs.
Exactly how my ex behaved. Talking over, yelling while covering his ears, rewrite history, everything is my fault, counter accused when he clearly did something wrong..
As far as ‘the signs’, I realize that it simply takes time to let the pattern reveal itself. It’s impossible to know with certainty that someone is narcissistic or toxic without spending time- our most valuable resource- with them. So you can’t blame yourself for spending however long it takes for you to find out the truth and get away. Nowadays, when meeting new people, I take my time and allow days between responding to texts or weeks between meeting them. Why? Because I need time to think about the event and what they said/ what happened. When I meet someone new, often times, I am high off my own supply, feeling the good vibes of my own personality, good energy, instead of taking a step back and analyzing the other person’s energy and if I even like them or not. My energy is very laidback and positive/optimistic. So it can be easy to project that onto others who I don’t even know. It’s hard to ‘think the worst’ when meeting new people, but being cautious is the only way to attempt to protect oneself.
And that time up front you use saves far more in the long run than if you didn’t, or the opposite extreme, immediately judged every first red flag as “narcissist”.
I agree best not to just jump into a relationship it takes time. And with distance I can see how the person reacts to me about me keeping my distance.
Thats exactly how it was, i wish i knew 30 years ago .
I noticed early on that my husband would not tolerate waiting in a line up. I also notice that most narcs find fault with their food at restaurant, often sending it back after eating most of it and refusing to pay for the ‘bad quality’.
Lol, I had a date with a guy from a dating site. We ordered the same meal, and mine was amazing, while he complained about how tough it was. That was it for me.
Drives me nuts when they say/do horrible hurtful things, then want a hug after or say ‘I care about you’ acting like nothing happened and with no apology or accountability. Such a mind mess. Glad I see right thru it now and can disengage and not fall for it. Thank you Dr Ramani ❤
It’s awful how the enablers also expect the ‘good stuff’ to erase the bad stuff, it’s so maddening. Thank you Dr Ramani ❤
I was on a date with someone who got upset because they had been driving in the wrong direction, and I told them, “I think we’re going the wrong way.. ” As soon as we turned around, they proceeded to do 80 mph in a 45 mph speed zone. I asked them to slow down, and they responded, “Why? The cops can’t catch me!”
I was flabbergasted… no, don’t consider my safety, just whether or not YOU get caught?
That was our last date. 😂
@AngeloftheNew, Smart of you to get out fast! You may have actually saved your life!
I am remembering things the ex did as I’m listening
I have heard these from Dr. Ramani several times over the years I have listened to her. Each time I listen, I glean something new or a different perspective. I think it is because I am changing myself in my life. I am growing. Today, I heard several things that I could apply to a present situation and there was some validation, too.
They talk over you. I thought it was me making things up its a real thing They talk over you. They also run you over with or without the car. When you feel ran over then they are sorry you feel that way. To treat another human or any living creature poorly is disgusting. Thank you so much love for you Dr. R.
i never ever ever heard her apologize, for anything big or small
I think sometimes, because we feel the context is relatively minor, we think of the red flags as only “pink” flags that can be disregarded, because we shouldn’t expect anyone to be “perfect.”
The tests of loyalty are the WORST. They can’t handle if you have other friends who you have longer history with.
I find that aspect one of the weirder ones. I love that my spouse has a circle of friends, so I can have some alone time now and then without feeling like I’m being neglectful somehow. You don’t have to unconditionally love or even become super-close to the other person’s friends. But I think you do have to understand that they benefit each other in some way.