Did the narcissist BURGLARIZE your inner world? (& how to get it back)
What does narcissistic abuse have in common with a burglary? More than you might think. In this video, we explore how narcissists invade your emotional space, steal your sense of self, and leave behind a mess of shame, confusion, and self-doubt. If you've ever felt violated or lost after a toxic relationship, this is a must-watch.
ORDER MY NYT BESTSELLING BOOK š "IT'S NOT YOU"
JOIN MY HEALING PROGRAM
JOIN THE DR. RAMANI NETWORK
LISTEN TO MY PODCAST "NAVIGATING NARCISSISM"
Apple Podcasts:
Spotify:
Stitcher:
iHeart Radio:
DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
Being careless, breaking things, misusing things etc all “accidents” ruining family airlooms etc photos and videos of your child. Damaged houses etc its an awful feeling. They steal your soul, your birthdays, your self image, self love, trust in yourself, sense of saftey and more.
Yes boom. All of the above.
Mine also stole money, my ID, credit card, jewellery, photos, legally privileged documents belonging to my extended family who live outside our country of residence, the childrenās passports, my peace of mind, and much else. Heās a plagiarist; he has plagiarised my own words from legal letters and put them in his own affidavit for court (noting heās a university professor). He steals medicine, sunscreen (we live in Australia so this is several hundred bucks a year) and food I buy for the children to use at his house, then withholds it from them to use for himself. He stole the change from my childrenās birthday money I gave themā¦ after they bought HIM an ice cream with it.
BINGO
Healing for me is picking up the pieces, even if no one sees the damage and telling myself that Iām still here and Iām not gonna give up rebuilding.
The self blame and trauma is horrible enough only to then be toppled with blaming and shaming from others is like the ultimate damage. These things take away your sense of protection and trust. A person then goes into overdrive protection of oneself. Not able to trust again. Not having the willfulness to go and explore become open again.
Right… PERMANENT DAMAGE…..
Yes, because why trust again only to be harmed, blamed, and bullied for having trusted in the first place?
If you’re genuinely a nice, wholesome empathetic person, you need to be on guard ALWAYS! Just casually talking to someone at a Park……A Police officer told me 25 yrs ago Kind hearted people are literally a blinking neon sign abusers can spot from miles away.
Wow …well said…… I’m MUCH more careful now…..šā¤
unfortunately true
I worked for a man who love bombed me, groomed me, and slowly eroded who I was. He made me feel seen and special at first, but it was all manipulation. The closer I got, the colder he became. Every emotion I had was turned against me. He got others to isolate me too. By the time I realized what was happening, I felt hollowed out.
I did sue him. I won. But not for nearly enough. No amount of money can repair the psychological damage or return the years I lost trying to earn his approval.
Watching this video helped me understand that what happened wasn’t just bad behavior. It was theft. He didn’t just take time from me. He took trust, safety, and pieces of myself I am still fighting to reclaim.
Thank you, Dr. Ramani, for helping survivors like me put words to the wound.
I agree…..ā¤
This topic is fascinating. I researched this when faced with cog dissonance. I looked at credible academic journals that disclose this āidentity theftā. Itās terrible and I experienced it!
The equivalence of a burglar alarm is education on narcissism to upgrade our internal narc radar.
Yesss
ššššš
Every time i have seen even a glimmer of it in someone else, it has come out later in a larger or more obvious way. Never make excuses for people. Never dismiss even a subtle hint of it. Make a note and start distancing yourself if at all possible.
Right….my ex narc was in SUCH A HURRY to get married….. I should’ve SLOWED DOWN and not have ALLOWED that person to rush me into such a ” permanent ” situation….š®
luckily i did slow down, didnt find him attractive narrying him, but without a job
and i was right, he just wanted to pull me dien, F him..š
You are spot on with this. A narc relationship is a love scam, no different than getting conned or stolen from any other way. The ex narc was a realtor. He knew I was trying to buy my own house by myself, but then he interjected and tried to make it a house purchase together as an unmarried couple. He ultimately tried to convince me to put him on the deed with only me on the mortgage. I laughed in his face, blocked him, and bought my house by myself, which was my dream my whole life. He was a sociopathic thief who ended up with a felony after I left. He’s a horrible person, and I wish I could warn his future victims. Yes he stole something in me because I was woefully naive before I met him. Now my sunny vision of the world is forever at least partially cloudy.
š»šš»šš»Bravo š
Amazing video. I wake up hoping it was just a bad dream but it’s reality, my husband has left me. No matter how much I tell myself to move forward, my heart refuses to let go. I just want to turn back time and hold onto him one more time
I know that feeling and it’s one of the hardest things to face but i know someone who can help you navigate this pain and bring back your ex. I used him to get my ex back after he breakup with me
Oh, really? Can this person help me to get my partner back to me?
Absolutely, Father Osoba Salama is the spiritual counselor who can help you reconcile with your ex
How can i reach him pls?
You can find his website online by researching his name
I always considered my experiences in a toxic learning and working environment in graduate school more like a r@pe than a burglary. I
At times it was that brutal.
It stripped me of my dignity, sense of confidence and well-being. The perpetrators did it to cut me down to make themselves appear bigger and was enabled by those who looked away and said nothing.
When I sought help or advice I was told “Why don’t you just leave?” or “It’s not as bad as it looks, or “This is the real world. Deal with it ”
No, it was worse because they sought to destroy and took from me a piece of my life I will never fully get back.
Have you heard of people robbing a house and defecating on the floor or dumping food and walking though it. Narcissists steal one’s serenity and happiness. To add insult to injury, they leave what I metaphorically call demons. It’s a feeling of evil that stays after they are gone.
I’m so sorry those a*holes broke into your house. No one has the right to enter someone else’s property even if you had left the doors unlocked and the windows open.
As far as being burgled by the narc, you’re spot on as always. The different narcs in my life stole my joy, my creativity, my health, my sense of trust and safety and most of my dreams. They also took time, money, energy and stuff from me. Most of those things I can’t get back and the rest, I’ve been trying, but I’m never going to be the same. Thank you so much for this video Dr. Ramani.
They are not trying to break your Heart, they instead are trying to break your Spirit to steal your Life.
Iāve spent over 20 years trying to forgive myself for allowing a narcissist to completely dismantle my life and my identity. Yes I am still me but never the same again. I violated my own morals and values and thatās what hurts the most. Thankfully Iāve healed and Dr Ramani is a big part of that. š One good thing is , it will never happen again.
Dear Eric, I am touched deeply. I send you joy.š
Ditto.
And Iām teaching my children what I didnāt know so they arenāt lambs to slaughter.
The betrayal is the hardest thing to deal with in narcissistic abuse. The fact that you poured your whole heart & soul into a relationship and all that the person did was play mind games and treat you like their puppet on a string. Hope we all find comfort in the fact that we had the strength to be vulnerable and sincerely love & care for others.
Narcissists everywhere I go. My healing journey is hard and very lonely. Sending love and light to everyone needing it.
U2!ā¤
ā@@cominghometoyeshuaā¤ā¤ā¤ Tc
it’s most people, IMO. i believe that the estimates of 5-10% are extremely low.
So true. Blaming the victim – in physical or personal violation . ā park closer to the store ā¦ so you married himā¦ Spot on.
So sorry this happened to you Dr.Ramani, and hope youāll feel safe in your home again ā¤ļø
Kinda like Whitney Houstonās songā¦āThey canāt take away my dignity, because the greatest love of all is inside of meā Thatās how I look at it through my recovery ā¤