How narcissists control your reality
Ever feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells in your relationship? This video breaks down the hidden tactics narcissists use to control the narrative—through mind games, emotional whiplash, and weaponized loyalty. Discover why you’re always the one apologizing, how trauma bonds keep you stuck, and why narcissists expect you to read their minds. If you’ve ever felt unseen, manipulated, or silenced, this is the insight you’ve been waiting for.
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
My dad straight up doesn’t even respond to what you say and completely changes the topic.
Classic.
Yep!!
I bet he undermines your attempts for sovereignty. You might want to look at the trauma bonding. I’m not a therapist. But man, I’ve seen a lot of narcissists games.
@@andron967I went no contact with him.
I was like why even bother
I am so sick of narcissists’ bullshit.
Same ❤
Exactly the same….
Too bad they’re in control of most of the money and jobs and families in society
Me too !
OMG where do they all come from ! I soo hear you!!
I never received attunement growing up, and I didn’t experience it in my adult relationships either. I’ve been on my own—out of relationships—for the past eight years, and I’ve made peace with that. I will never go back into one.
It’s so upsetting yet helpful when you describe things I’ve said/ done but the context is radically different. The keys example is one I’ve been walked into by him many times but he was moving stuff TO UPSET ME ON PURPOSE and make me that “villain” 😭🤬
yeah thats the concept of the film gaslight which gave the name
He’s never wrong and it’s always me. What happens is all in my head. Yet it’s all my fault at the same time.
That sounds exhausting 😢
@ShortDarknLovely it is. One of these days he will regret the things he has done. He will loose everything he has worked for including his family. Our kids have told him they will take action as well. Tells me when I find out secrets he has, that it’s in my head too. Nope it’s not.
Oh, same. It’s pathetic. They’re projecting. Every negative thing they say about is us really how they feel about themselves and all the things they blame us for are what they know they are guilty of.
For instance: he tells me I gaslight him…and he tells me that I am unable to self reflect!!! An emoji does not exist that adequately captures the utter irony and blasphemy of being accused of the exact same f’d up things that hr guilty of. If I wasn’t so completely enraged by this, I’d be laughing my butt off at how ridiculous it is. These are sick, sick, individuals.
That’s exactly what the doctors and therapists told me at the VA. I made them do it by “attracting it with my mind by not liking what they are doing”. “People have the RIGHT to do anything to you if you don’t like it being done to you. You made them do it. Discussion over! Not going to argue wid ya!” <-- Therapy at its finest!(Also none of this ever happened but it did happen and you made the therapist react like that by upsetting her. Both things are simultaneously true. Disagreement is violence. Silence is violence) 🙃
Bless your heart for posting this today. The truth rings through in your voice and is like sunshine in a dark and cold place!
This is exactly my life with the Narcissist!
My reality is not controlled by anyone, least of all these critters. Never, never again. let them kill each other, but I’m not going to let them walk all over me.
part of the problem is that some people experience ‘hyper-attunement or ‘true love’ or maybe even ‘absolute obediance’ and THEY GET USED TO IT!
So true about the mind reading expectations.
Narcissists live their lives recklessly, selfishly, with total disregard for others.They do what they want when they want. You are left to deal with the shrapnel and collateral damage. I have experienced this in relationships and business.
You have described the majority of the popualtion😊
Dr. Ramani~ You’ve contributed to my escape over several months now. Praise God. He’s clearly using you to reach people and help them like you did me. Thank you. ❤😊
Sounds cultish. The woman doesn’t care about you and your life!
One of my narc father’s favorite lines: “You can NEVER trust anyone except for your family.” Turned out the exact opposite was true.
That’s wild. Reminds me of my Dad telling me “Nobody cares about us” and that we could only trust each other.
CULT ALERT
Anytime I failed to be the fantasy in his head he said I was crazy, that his psychiatrist (whom I do not know and with whom he is now having a sexual relationship) said I had BPD. I don’t have BPD, but after years of this I am filled with rage and I do have PTSD caused by his abuse, which I am working on.
I just want to thank you Dr. Ramani for your insight and selfless teaching. It has helped me and my husband understand who we’re dealing with. We are currently in a situation at home that has been going on for a year now. We have set boundaries, left out emotions and been able to predict with precision when and at times how this person will react. It has helped us get most of the upper hand back in our home. This person is running out of methods for his manipulatuon and retaliation..however, not without trying daily. Today he left the water on in his bathroom for several hours before we caught it. We will probably end up going to court to get rid of him. We have been documenting everything. Your teachings are so on point. It has helped keep us sane too. Once you know you know and you can never unsee it. So thank you so so much for all that you do for so many of us dealing with people like this.
The narcissistic sister in law did this to me. I was proud of myself for travelling to a large city by myself for a course. When I got back and we had a family dinner, she asked if I had been to some random bakery there. I said no as I didn’t have time to go everywhere as I was in a course all day. She answered with a dismissive rude tone that ‘oh they had been there’, and was super condescending about it like I was less than somehow because I hadn’t been to this particular bakery. It was so weird and uncomfortable. So sick of her sh*t. It’s always negative dismissive comparing jealous mean invalidating and dishonest from her. I want nothing to do with her. So grateful for this community ❤
I’m struggling to cope with the end of my five-year relationship. Despite my best efforts, I haven’t been able to win him back, and the pain of his absence is overwhelming.
It’s hard to say goodbye to someone you love; I experienced this when my 12-year relationship ended. However, I couldn’t just let him go; instead, I tried everything to win him back. Eventually, I turned to a spiritual counsellor for assistance, and he was able to help me win him back.
Interesting! How did you locate a spiritual counselor, and how can I get in touch with him most effectively?
His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Father Obah Eze has also helped my co workers and close friends and even family members get their ex back.
Thank you for sharing this valuable insight. I just looked him up, and I’m genuinely impressed.
I never knew the hug after the attack was a thing. My husbands entire family does this and he actually thinks it’s healthy. It’s convinced me that I’m unforgiving because if I need a minute or pull away when he comes in for a hug or kiss he instantly transforms back into a rage full monster. A lot of times I just give in so that he doesn’t get mad again. It does feel like you don’t matter. Like you’re not allowed to just be. Narcissistic abuse needs to be brought out in society and recognized as a real form of abuse. It’s psychologically so destructive.
It’s the narc’s way to feel excused for their bad behavior and not be held accountable. After they have their episode/tantrum/blowout, as if they just puked out venom, they feel all better and need us to proverbially help with the clean up that they caused, like petulant kids. I was raised similarly as your husband and felt the same way as he did thinking hugging immediately is healthy. But as I get older and having had more time and distance in going NC and working on myself, I side with you. It is not healthy. They can’t go deep and allow themselves to take responsibility for how they affected others. Also, with narcs, everything revolves around them and we are on their timeline, including our processing, which is untrue and unkind. And dehumanizing. A relative sent me a hoovering email placing all the work of accountability on “giving it all to God.” It is their version of here’s a hug after we tormented you and each other.
Like sex after the psychological abuse attacks.
Didn’t know I was dating a covert narcissist yet and they began to frequently tell me I was “overthinking it”. I finally said “I don’t like it when you tell me I’m overthinking. It feels like you are undermining my own reality”. These are the strength and boundaries that save us when we don’t even realize what we’re dealing with. She tried to devalue me to harem status within three months (I went no contact instead).
Good for you!!!
I can resonate..equally i left🙏
PTSD is real, after my heart was shattered into pieces by the one who claimed we will be together forever. I drank myself to sleep every day for 3 months, I am 2 weeks sober now, and I joined a study group. The painful part is, I still love her. We have been together since high school. My heart still aches.
I am terribly sorry to hear this, and trust me i know what you are going through, losing someone you love is always tough, sometimes you blame yourself even when you are not the problem, i have been there, and it wasn’t easy, but i did all i could to get him back, so I watched a lot of youtube videos especially coach Stephan speaks, Matthew Hussey, Courtney Ryan, Alexander grace and Doctor Ramani. I also used the services of a spiritual counsellor as well.
Oh wow! How did you get a spiritual adviser, and how do I reach him or her any tips?
Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters, and she is a great spiritual counsellor
Thank you so much, I will give her a try, i searched her name online and found her website, once again, thank you
To anyone who’s suffering depression, anxiety, insomnia and other mental health problems, you are not alone. I feel you. You are so brave. You are doing so well. I’m proud of you. I’m sending you a virtual hug ❤ what helped me get out of that dark spiral was journaling and mindfulness from Shift Your Mind by Alexander Brooks. The anxiety that used to control my whole day barely shows up now!🙏❤