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How Divorce Changes a Man | Moving on After Divorce | Life After Divorce for Men

How Divorce Changes a Man | Moving on After Divorce | Life After Divorce for Men " How to move on from a relationship takes a different view of the past 2 years as a single man. As a Divorce Coach, I've worked with hundreds of men who are at their end. This gives a viewpoint of what I would do if I could go back in time and tell myself about what to expect the next two years.

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If you could turn back time and speak to yourself during the beginning stages of the divorce, what would you tell yourself? What pitfalls did you hit, what were some major wins, what would you do different? I’m Rene, your divorce and recovery coach and It’s been 2 years since my separation so I thought it appropriate to speak about one of the most tumultuous times men undergo,,,, your separation. But this story isn’t about me but rather our story and it’s one of triumph so let’s start revving that engine.

I’m Rene, a men’s divorce and recovery coach. If I could hold that broken man that was me 2 years ago,,,, alone, in silence, confused and feeling worthless I’d look at him smile and say in no uncertain term that I’m going to go through my biggest renesance and that all this pain, expensive as it is, was all worth it. I was scared, I was really scared but although I bruised, I did scar and that in a matter of weeks not months, I was going to find myself again. That I wasn’t only going to land on my feet but that I dodged a bullet and thrived but it was going to take losing the social circle I gained during those 7 years I was with my ex.

Chapters:
0:00 Introduction
0:45 All this Pain was all Worth it
1:16 Loss Of Friends
1:59 I was arrogant
3:00 Perspective on Reality
4:19 Biggest Fear
5:00 Right Approach to Dating
5:27 First Year Single
6:12 I settled
6:30 Found Love
7:10 How About You

Andrew McLaurin
 

  • @Mensdivorcecoach says:

    Schedule a free 1 on 1 with me athttps://calendly.com/renesance/free-consultation because nearly 3/4 of men going through divorce go through some counseling. Hire someone who’s highly specialized and works only with divorce and men.

    • @grandemperorputin5992 says:

      Did you also yearn for a quiet life for you and your kids? My ex was loud during arguments. My poor neighbors 😅

  • @rolandbazaldua5773 says:

    Great video

  • @oksoap2315 says:

    Awesome video!

  • @rickboiardimindshiftingaca6975 says:

    Your story is very similar to mine. I went through a long learning curve in my divorce, however I wouldn’t change a thing.
    All that well earned knowledge was so useful going forward.
    I remember constantly thinking back then how I was losing a hot wife. I realized after her, that women thought I was attractive, and now I had them while having all this recent personal growth. The world got so much better!

    • @Mensdivorcecoach says:

      I’d do it again. Frankly, infidelity or not, I can do and am doing much better.

    • @bosebosell3252 says:

      I ran into my ex the other day. She is 38 but still dressing up so hot. I felt exactly same as you feeling I lose a hot wife. Eventhough inside she had nothing for me. I am having trouble finding girls as hot as she was. And I was having doubt. I am still living through it. I hope when I look back later on, this is just a blip.

    • @Mensdivorcecoach says:

      Don’t replace your ex. I did a 180 in who I found. I think the only similarity is they’re both Latin but then again so am I. Outside of that they couldn’t be any different. Wasn’t by design but I just changed my priorities. PS. Sorry it took me so long to respond.

    • @AgeofReason says:

      Chasing women is disastrous, though.

  • @brettwightman2047 says:

    Great video brother 👍

    • @Mensdivorcecoach says:

      Thanks Brett, what would you be telling yourself?

    • @brettwightman2047 says:

      @@Mensdivorcecoach it would a long deep conversation about how I need to snap out of it sooner and look at what I have let happen to me and how its affecting me mentally and physically.

    • @Mensdivorcecoach says:

      Should include where you’re going and wanna go.

  • @MrShotgunX says:

    Oh my gosh, you just made me realize about the lingerie I’d never see put to use. Sheesh.

    • @Mensdivorcecoach says:

      Really? That happened to you also? It made me feel stupid and ignorant when I found out. It sucked. Darn, my intent was not to have yo re-live the entire past.

  • @chadbrown4136 says:

    Thanks to Rene Sance’s videos, I was able to move onto higher ground with a rapidity that impressed me. This video really helped me when I was knee deep in the excrement pool (censored for Youtube) that is divorce. I really felt he put into words a lot of what I already knew. I already have a decent network that helped me through, or I definitely would have hired him. Turns out I didn’t even need a coach, but his videos were enough. My mourning period lasted a few months. I’m not exactly sure how fast as I had highs and lows, but this program works! I highly recommend you get help through this. I’ve already recommended his videos to people who are currently where I was earlier this year.

  • @fluteshehnai says:

    Really beautiful presentation..I loved it👍

  • @vasanthkrishna7809 says:

    This was quite self reflective. Post divorce I noticed the world around me especially people whom I used to call ‘Friends, Family’ suddenly behaving bit weird, maintaining some distance both in person and on social media. I realised lot of human relationships in today’s time are like a mirage. It seems good when things are going well but in no time it evaporates when things fall apart in your personal life.

    • @mcpherson8995 says:

      There is still chance for you to start again! Life is not all about you, it’s about us, them, and our

  • @rjrulz327 says:

    Thanks brother I feel like I’m in a similar situation… after realizing the people she was messing around with it, really changed my perspective on the situation in general.

  • @BobBob-uv9fq says:

    I overheard a drunken bum in the corner of a pub saying “ never ever get married” 20 yrs later I keep his advice

  • @AnjaliKumari-tn3cv says:

    Hi Rene , Mostly happens that good men don’t get good wives and good girls don’t get good husband . I miss those old days were husband and wives were like the water and fish where they could not stay without each other . I was quite keen to know about the aspects of foreigners about the impacts of divorce . I really liked your video . there is a great need to teach children in school about the family values since child hood . People have got mad about money .

    • @Mensdivorcecoach says:

      Thank you for your comment and I enjoyed your metaphor (water and fish), don’t be surprised if I use it on a future video. Curious what you mean or have learned thus far about foreigners and the impact of divorce on them.

    • @AnjaliKumari-tn3cv says:

      @@Mensdivorcecoach

      I used to listen from my friends that In Western countries. Divorce is too common and people move on very easily. There maariage is not such a serious concept. But now I came to know that even they also have emotions, no one wants to live alone. . . And even you are also a good person 🙂

  • @sudeepsukumaran2103 says:

    I am scared and confused. I want to be strong but i get emotionally broken even after two years of separation. I need help but couldn’t get the courage to ask for it.

  • @jamiewarne9066 says:

    20 years together and 3 young daughters. She tells me I’m unattractive and I make her miserable. I was away working 11 hours a day, to come home to a cold hearted women, children upset, and a filthy house. She was a board housewife. Then I discover her affair with a married man from her running club. How could I compete with that? Fit and athletic while I’m burnt out, now left picking up the pieces.

    • @Mensdivorcecoach says:

      Easier than you think. You get ahead of the problem. Also, you’ve been listening to her too long and are starting to believe her BS. I was always called a “boring old man” from my ex who was only 4 years my junior and I believed it. I had to leave to see how full of BS she was.

    • @Mensdivorcecoach says:

      Hope you join our FB Group and set up a one on one

    • @jamiewarne9066 says:

      @@Mensdivorcecoach thank you. I have never been in face book, yet I find now she has multiple accounts, and Instagramwith thousands of followers. She is 10 years younger than me. And what hurts the most is that after years.of almost no affection, she tried me out before she left. I got to see the leather boots and outfit her new man is now enjoying. It tauments me. She doesn’t even want the children, just the money that comes from having them.

    • @JustinRyan-ct7tq says:

      Hey man, how are you doing a year later?? My wife left me just a week ago after being together for 17 years. I’m 35 now. I find it interesting you said your wife complained about being a bored housewife because mine went to school to get her cpa for 10 years while I stayed the same in Quebec as a non French speaker waiting for her to finish. She didn’t work the entire time during that and her resume didn’t look great. We moved outside Quebec and got married during Covid which was challenging and her parents were about a 4 hour drive away. Then we bought a house together based on our dual income. We make basically the same amount of money. She got fired from her first job coming out here and the. The past year she was struggling so much at her 2nd job and was on the verge of being fired. She started saying how she hated living here even though we bought a house specifically cause she loved it so much and it was 5 seconds from her work and that she hated working and didn’t want to anymore and she was depressed being far from her parents. I tried suggesting taking some time off and maybe doing accounts payable for a small company or something instead of accounting firms she found to stressful. She was always very cold and reserved and hard to deal with but she became soul crushingly detached making me feel like she hated me, lazy and doing nothing but smoking weed in the bath on the phone among many other things. The Point is she basically said she hated working and wanted to be taken care of and missed her parents to much. This caused even more tension then we already were having but I was panicked cause I can tell she was Soo detached and checked out very very soon after being married. She had 13 years to decide weather she loved me or not and for some insane reason agreed to marry me buy a house together and a dog and within 3 years threw it away like nothing.

  • @djjrifau says:

    Almost 2 years after..i only talk to her parents and sister because they are my son’s family…but its limited. I’m am much better now…all comes out in the wash and things are seen easily. Blinders off 💪👏

  • @gavinsandlin27 says:

    I love women. I care about them because it’s in my nature. But never hang on to a woman who’s a liability

  • @donclough2793 says:

    Loss of friends? Yep. Sure happened to me.

  • @hadiitiniguez2393 says:

    I dodged some bullets. Although I was in pain, I kept my head above water. If you are strong, you will survive. Don’t compare yourself to anyone. Be a new person and face the reality. Accept the challenge

  • @thomesc6214 says:

    Hello. Did you use apps for dating? Newly on the dating scene after two decades. Thanks for the videos.

    • @Mensdivorcecoach says:

      I did. You should join our Facebook Group. I just had a webinar on this with the group last night. The girl on the video thought, my GF, she loves rubbing it in that she found me and not through apps, she hired a matchmaker.

  • @johnkauppi7078 says:

    I married a feminist with a kid,she divorced me 3 years later at 31.I thought, ‘ah so thats what women are really like’.She taught me everything I need to know about women and what awful creatures they can be.Yes ,the breakup hurt for a long time.I began to grow cold and emotionless towards women, to me they are just warm bodies.I’m a handsome fellow with money so women are easily attracted to me,but I’m still emotionally unavailable,no matter how much they profess their love for me.But I’ll admit that I’m pretty happy and content.I’ll never marry again as I just dont need it and there is no benefit.

    • @brent4073 says:

      You just need to understand female nature and women aren’t that bad. Problem is the laws and society have empowered women too much and now everything is stacked against men. The family unit has been completely destroyed by feminism.

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