How Many Times Will the Narcissist Hurt You?
How many times does someone get to invalidate you, betray you, or steal your reality before you walk away? For most survivors of narcissistic abuse, the answer isn’t simple—and the world doesn’t make it easier. You're told it’s a two-way street, that you're too sensitive, that you should’ve tried harder. This video is for the people who are tired of carrying the shame for someone else’s behavior.
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
I stopped counting. It’s like they will hurt you over and over, not with abuse, but by acting like you don’t exist. That’s how it’s been for me. Like I’m just a ghost in the room. That kind of pain really adds up. For them to act like I didn’t matter was enough. I wanted someone to really see me, even just once. And even if that person was me.
I can definitely relate to this.
For me the biggest realization was that they’ve NEVER seen me.
@@bistravoda3687Exactly.
@@bistravoda3687
After 57 years it was the hardest thing to accept.
The English language has been change/corrupted to benefit the narcisstis. Gas lighting times 100.
Jefferson has proved me with the phrases. The best one is: Silence cannot be misquoted.
Joined your group
Seeing YOURSELF is all you need! Me too!
Many times you cannot physically walk away. You just have to continue to tolerate. But there is hope! Narcissists have a playbook (at least mine did). Once you learn their routine, you stop catering to them. At least that was my experience.
The more we forgive them, the more often they hurt us, we justify their behaviors and realize we are trauma bonded, and that they will keep hurting you for as long as you are with the narcissists, and even when we are out of the relationship. Thank you Dr. Ramana, it is not our fault❤❤❤
I’ve asked myself the very same question. My answer is… too many times. More times than is fair to me😔 But no more 💪🏼
I love the righteous anger and F bombs! 😆
This is the language of survivors who are healing
Yes. In the name of Jesus
Thank you for helping us. The pain is awful and the healing is slow, but I am learning. Thank you, again.
The pain is truly awful…
26 violent and narcissistic abusers across 50 years. How many times in total…? no idea.
I wont tolerate it now. No excuses, no endless chances. Everyone, doesn’t matter who it is, gets three chances or they are out. Three times is enough to recognise something as a pattern and not a mistake. I am more than happy to walk away and save my sanity. I have fought far to hard to rebuild my entire identity from the pile of rubble that it was, up. Thank you Dr Ramani for being a big part of me getting my life back.
Birds of a feather flock together
my number used to be infinity, now it feels more like 1 thanks to your content and education. so thankful for that. at times i feel heartless but then i remind myself it’s not my job to sacrifice myself, my peace or happiness to try save others. and i can’t save anyone from themselves, that’s an inside job. i have stopped explaining, stopped justifying, i dont even have to block anymore because im stronger. i dont want to reply. i dont want to engage. i am not phased by their harmful or confusing messages or behaviors. i know who i am. and i like being with myself. no one will take that from me again.
More than I can count. Now that she’s not here anymore, all those times get remembered, even if I don’t want it.
When the final betrayal comes, something dies in you. And strangely this something frees you. You stop fearing opinions and consequences. You just disengage for good.
… when you can
When you haven’t been coerced and shamed (by the rest of society) into caring for them because they’re elder parents
Absolutely 👍
@@amarbyrd2520 I understand! It’s painful but I had to go NO CONTACT with narc parents that nearly destroyed me!
Exactly! Perfectly said
@@amarbyrd2520 Or, as in my case, an adult child. I think society is actually more understanding of people who have had to disassociate from their narcissistic parent more than they do someone disengaging from their narcissistic adult child. I do think, though, that the parent-child narcissistic relationship is possibly the most difficult of all, regardless of who the narcissist is in the dynamic. I was fortunate to have two wonderful, caring parents and was introduced to real narcissistic abuse in my first marriage, so I can’t speak from the perspective of being in a relationship with a narcissistic parent. Having to separate and go no contact with one adult child is exceptionally difficult. There is a lot of cultural and societal shame that comes with that decision. And a lot of very personal regret. It’s not something you feel good about or proud of, and even when you know it’s right it is hard not to second guess yourself and wonder if you could have done more or are doing the right thing. I have to remind myself daily that it is not okay to allow toxic and abusive behavior into my life and marriage, no matter where it comes from. It is still a very hard thing.
Spot on!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 18 years with my husband. 54 years with my mom
Ive just had to leave looking after my Narcissist 83 year old Mum along with my Narcissist brother, both of them absolutely nearly destroyed me, I am lucky I have a friend who has given me a safe space to recover and grow.
Most of the people out there saying that there are no narcissists or that you should put up with endless abuse are likely narcissists themselves. If empathic people learn that narcissists exist and learn to spot the red flags and to empower and protect ourselves against abuse and exploitation, it makes it harder for narcissists to find supply.
Dr Ramani is world class amazing at this but it made me smile hearing her drop the F bomb today! 😅
It’s been more than 14 years…………….doesn’t end……
I listened to this unpacking my many belongings after running from my narcissistic ex-husband. Thank you I needed that
I hope your move brings you the peace you deserve. It’s so, so hard.
Oh Ramani, I love you. Make me laugh, at 2 mins. I had a rough weekend ❤ thank you. Keep up the good work, kid
“This can’t be happening” and “am I going crazy” …. this is how I felt until I started journaling and getting a plan of action to deal with my narcissistic wife. A lot of things will come to light and help you when you move past denial… and you will realize the damage they have done and are capable of, then you start working on you and your plan of action. Not gonna be easy and you will feel alone at times but this is growth.
This can’t be happening.. Yes, this thought is just spinning around when you are trying to deny reality.
@@bistravoda3687 good news , next step is figuring out a plan .. and beware this step could involve unraveling the discord caused by the narcissist
Something in my heart has clicked off with certain people for sure. It took many horrific painful times before I finally had to step away for my health. I get accused of being unforgiving when I finally exert boundaries, yet also shamed for being too nice or staying too long in an unhealthy relationship. Can’t win no matter what. Focusing on my life and well being. Thank you Dr Ramaji ❤
I’m struggling to cope with the end of my five-year relationship. Despite my best efforts, I haven’t been able to win him back, and the pain of his absence is overwhelming.
It’s hard to say goodbye to someone you love; I experienced this when my 12-year relationship ended. However, I couldn’t just let him go; instead, I tried everything to win him back. Eventually, I turned to a spiritual counsellor for assistance, and he was able to help me win him back.
Interesting! How did you locate a spiritual counselor, and how can I get in touch with him most effectively?
His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Father Obah Eze has also helped my co workers and close friends and even family members get their ex back.
Thank you for sharing this valuable insight. I just looked him up, and I’m genuinely impressed.