Can a covert narcissist stay HIDDEN forever?
Covert narcissism doesn’t come with fireworks—no flashy charm, no obvious arrogance. It creeps in quietly, hidden under helpfulness, humor, or shyness, until one day… it doesn’t. This video explores how long covert narcissism can stay hidden, what finally triggers the mask to slip, and why—once you see it—you can’t unsee it. If you've ever blamed yourself for not noticing sooner, this one's for you.
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
Trust your gut!! Trust your intuition!!
YEEESSS,ABSOLUTELY 🎯🎯🎯🎯!!
Yes
If your subconscious and intuition miss it, your boundary setting won’t. Set boundaries very early on, and you will plainly see what you’re dealing with.
@@lilu6766yes… If you refuse a narcissist, their rage explodes and all earlier pretense of ‘im a kid..take care of me’ it all goes away. And you see their real face for what it is
What about the victims of narcissistic abuse that are just depressed and depleted and traumatized from childhood. But they aren’t truly narcissistic but seem like it sometimes. I never smear anyone and I avoid drama like the plague. I forgot how to smile around other people solitude is life
27 years for me. It was finally diagnosed as PTSD, but years later with treatment, things didn’t get better with the exception of less yelling. All the rest of the mistreatment continued and now way worse post separation as soon as the new supply was secured. He’s actually called me borderline and narcissistic as of this past weekend. What a joke!
My covert friend snapped after a couple of weeks, but since i had no idea what was going on, I didn’t cut them off initially. I think this is how a lot of them get away with things at the start. The sheer confusion from normal people and our tendency to look within.
I lived in a state of confusion for decades and decades. I went to numerous counselors and they all tried to fix me.
Dr Ramani I wish I could meet you and show you how grateful I am for your existence, for the work that you do, and for saving lives. Thank you for helping, guiding and educating us on this. Thank you for raising awareness and helping victims quit their self-blame cycle. Thank you. Thank you
100% agree. I am 72 and feel free for the first time. I was asking myself and a friend the other day ‘What did all my suffering accomplish?” As Dr. Ramani has said “There is no virtue in being someone else’s emotional punching bag.” I look back over my life and grieve all the chances I had to be happy and I self sabotaged them all!
I could not agree more!❤
@@marysisak2359 Please don’t grieve your past ma’am. Your suffering makes you the empathy you are. You’re free, and that’s what matters, you’re healing and growing and Dr Ramani and the community supports you. All power to you🫶🏽
I second this 💯
i am 35 years old..i am finally seeing the pattern with my mom…its really Creepy
Yeah. It doesn’t feel good at all to realize how narrow they wear the blinders. What they are willing to assume, or the reality they are willing to dispose of without a shred of guilt.
I’m sorry. It’s an unsettling feeling. Protect yourself
@@Desiree-u7g yeah now im learning about triangulation…
@@programthis3805I’ve experienced triangulation through my family as well. It was a normal practice. My golden child sister and my narcissist dad would do the whole triangulation dysfunctional thing ever since I could remember. Now that I’m not living with them. They still have at it as much as possible.
Let me tell you, somethings will never change.
Hopefully you can get away from them, heal and live an amazing life.
Took me 42 yrs to see it w/my mom. Doc is right – once you see it, you can’t unsee it. These people are hardly ever fixed.
You really nailed it, please keep these videos coming.
I was 59, widowed for one year and a half when I started dating him. Three years with him and I was so confused with his behavior. All the patterns of the covert/vulnerable narcissist but I didn’t know anything about it until he discarded me. Thanks to friends, and Dr. Ramani’s videos and her books I understand now. Sure enough he came back to me after a year and a half. I am glad that I had opened my eyes. Still the rumination continues. Working on that.
My narc was so sweet to me and talked to me all the time. I loved spending time with him. Then I found out he flew in a woman from IG and had a sexual romp over the course of 5 days because she posted it on her IG. Instead of apologizing or giving me any explanation, he just blocked me. Then when I tried to reach out and figure out what was happening, he called the cops on me harassment. It is so insane to me that someone who was nice and sweet and romantic is actually so evil. I just keep thinking about this and keep ruminating on it.
It’s a fundamentally disturbing experience. It took me a long time to really take it in because I had to revise so many beliefs I had.
You’re describing the narcissistic woman I just got out of a relationship with perfectly. It’s amazing how similar they all are!
@@strongallalong89I hope you are doing okay! I’m still ruminating and trying to understand how it was all fake. Like did he ever even care? It’s just not fair. How can people be just so mean and immoral?
I first noticed it when I read Debbie Mirza’s book “The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist” then Dr. Ramani affirmed it. THANK YOU SO MUCH!
Took 11 yrs to recognise a covert narcissist and only when living with them for 3 months could I see the signs. I always thought I was the problem.
In my situation, I think it was the quality and quantity of the supply that delayed the obvious signs and behaviors of a covert narcissist. Finally, when he was no longer the “boss” at work due to retiring, the suppy I could give was inadequate. And the knives came out. I think I was also ignoring signs throughout the relationship, due to the relationship I had with my father. He was not able to show love or be emotionally present. The narcissistic partner occasionally showed love and positive emotional support. So that was like sugar, or a big eraser that I’d use to whitewash the bad behavior.
I’m sorry that happened to you. I hope you are healing and finding joy. My husband, too, is retiring and losing supply from his staff and from the hundreds of patients who adored and (especially) obeyed him and were grateful to him. In that context, I was his “favorite thing”. No emotional closeness, and no help with our children, our home, or our aging parents, but nothing overtly unkind. Now that there are no witnesses to tell him what a great dad/husband/son/boss he is, my supply is inadequate for him to bother masking to me any more.
Self reflection goes a long way. You can tell when someone doesn’t do much of that.
Someone I care about is married to the perpetual victim, who recently had a baby. I guess this was her trigger as she started lashing out at those around her immediately after the birth, driving some away, accusing members of the family of having nefarious intent. He has allowed her to isolate him from his family and friends. It’s his bed to lie in but I can’t help but feel sorry for how that child will grow up. I hope he finally grows a pair to protect his child from her but seeing how he has treated his own family gives me little hope. It’s too hard to watch. I have distanced myself from it all.
One of the absolute worst gaslighting traits these people have is completely trying to derail conversations. Like when they focus on one word you say to invalidate your feelings.
Yes! My sister did this to me all the time
@@IzzyNChristit’s so beyond frustrating, but when that happens I just give up because I’ve realized there is no intention to hear, listen, or have common understanding. If someone does that I just shut down the conversation and walk away.
@@nikkiviolanti4477same, I don’t even bother confronting her anymore because she’ll flip the script so she looks innocent or act like she didn’t realize she was doing something wrong or selfish
10:59 to 13:13 felt like a life sentence. It is hard being on the outside looking in, now. Interacting with the person I thought I once knew–more honestly, the person I knew they had potential to be, but never truly showed up. Onward, I go to new triumphs and struggles. My gratitude is overwhelming.
Incredible video My relationship of five years ended a month ago. It truly bothers me when someone I love decides to end their relationship with me. Despite the fact that it’s all for nothing, I’ve tried everything to win him back, and I can’t picture my life without him. Despite my best efforts, I still find myself missing him and thinking about him frequently. I’m not sure why I’m saying this.
It’s hard to say goodbye to someone you love; I experienced this when my 12-year relationship ended. However, I couldn’t just let him go; instead, I tried everything to win him back. Eventually, I turned to a spiritual counsellor for assistance, and he was able to help me win him back.
Interesting! How did you locate a spiritual counselor, and how can I get in touch with him most effectively?
His name is FATHER AKUNNA, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
He can assist you; he is FATHER AKUNNA, and he possesses immense powers and he’s the best spell caster to ever live
Thank you for sharing this valuable insight. I just searched FATHER AKUNNA up online, and I’m genuinely impressed.
Raised by a severely abusive narcissistic mother (and discarded by her 15 years ago). Just got out of an 18-month relationship with a covert narcissistic woman. Wild to be raised by a narcissist and then get into a relationship with one and have no idea what I was getting into. Now I’m learning to look for the signs up front, thanks to you Dr. Ramani. Thank you so much for what you do! ❤
Once I saw I never waivered.
It took my husband and I moving outside the US to distance ourselves from his mother, the perpetual victim. Hubby is working on his own healing but it’s a long, difficult road. He’s set healthy boundaries before, which were totally disregarded, but moving 4,000 miles away and not responding to her phone calls or texts has helped. Thanks, Dr. Ramani, for making me aware of covert and vulnerable narcissism — my mother-in-law was actively destroying my marriage until hubby and I watched your videos and were able to identify his mom’s behaviors. He’s in therapy, as am I, and has been able to identify a childhood filled with covert narcissistic damage he’d previously suppressed.
You get to figure it out after watching several (or all) of Dr. Ramani’s videos (Dr. Les Carter and others too!)