Do narcissistic relationships HAUNT your HAPPY MOMENTS?
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
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Going to certain places or being involved in certain activities may produce emotional flashbacks. Where you recall a traumatic event with the narcissist. Especially on special occasions, as narcissists are known for ruining Christmas and Birthdays.
OMG, yes. My narc ex specialized in ruining birthdays and Christmas (!)
@@maryannd4479 My Nsibling waited 3 day’s to send the cops over on my birthday to bring the news Ndad was in the hospital on his dying bed.
Yes, true! Also, almost any special event they know that you enjoy. It’s insidious, as they may invite you and then they say something off the wall to upset you. It’s tricky to stay involved with family and navigate these situations. 🙂
Holidays were made for Narcissists.
Make a breakup with your Narky about 2 weeks/10 days before Valentines. Sometimes that triggers then to hoover, and you actually get some presents or something.
I try to keep myself busy and also to keep my concentration on the more important things I couldn’t focus on when in the Narc relationship. I also find myself doing things and activities I couldn’t do before. There IS life after the Narc.❤❤❤❤
I felt happy the day it was over and went no contact, however the rumination had just begun! I think its taken 3 years to finally stop thinking about it too much and start to be myself without the Narc in my brain all the time. And you’ve helped me sooo much Dr. R. Thank you. XO
I know. It is like a third eye looking over me, judging me. I used to get mad at myself for simply knocking things over. I would hear “Slow down!” in my head. And yes, Dr. R has been and continues to be a lifesaver!
a narcissist NEVER wants to see you happy and succeed in life, they get a kick out of your downfalls. they’ll kick you when you’re down and cut you when you’re up.
cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁
so true!
Yea, after them sabotaging your life that thing Dr. R talks about @ 5:15 could be close to impossible.
Yep.
I wake up with ruminating thoughts, but find that praying first thing in the morning, then journalists/writing. It could be creative writing, poems, songs or just writing down the feelings helps release them for the day.
Repeat when the ruminations begin, time permitting.
It’s helping tremendously
Prayer helps me as well.
My happiness improved dramatically when I stopped asking for anything and started living like I was single. It’s extremely sad. I love this person but it’s clear they are incapable of loving anyone back.
❤️❤️
That person knows they are not worthy of you. The truth is that they are really unhappy they do not have a healthy ego like you do. This is what makes them spiteful and resentful.
Thank you again! Yes, it does haunt even the happy moments. Especially for those if us who’ve had these as multiple lifelong core relationships and communities, along with other additional ones on top. I’m finding alone happier than I ever had cuz I am thankfully no longer desperate for a romantic relationship. But that “happiness“ often feels fraught, and occasionally tainted with loneliness given the lack of anyone close and safe enough to share the moment with.
But it’s still better than the constant pain and especially confusing gaslighted shame.
Here’s to each of us getting a bit more able to experience true full happiness every day! ❤
I can’t believe these people exist and can live with themselves. I couldn’t myself live with the thoughts of hurting or ruining someone’s life! This is the hardest thing about this…I cannot believe it ma’am!
You have empathy for the feelings of others. The narc does not. It’s broken inside them with no cure. People are only a means to their ends. Nothing more.
I’ve always find it hard, but atm there are several countries ready to nuke entire continents so evil does exist.
But yea, especially from people you thought you knew, trusted, loved even.. such vile needlessly cruel betrayal… and probably premeditated over a long time…
This is bad.
“Et tu Brute ? Et tu !?”
Beats getting nuked though…🤔😄
Neither can I. 😢
It took me forever to comprehend and there are lots of people like this in the world.
I was very happy when I got him out of my life for good, 9 months ago. Today, I am content and at peace within myself and in my life. Thank you, Dr. Ramani
Dr. Ramani, you have helped me to find (locate and work on) MY inner peace. It is not me. That simple, very simple validation set me on a path of cleansing. I have worked on a spot in the backyard for 2 months, more in the last two weeks. Every morning and every evening, I sit out here in my happy place. I have a natural alter where I burn white sage, copal and a Buddhist blend of resins. Every morning I cleanse myself from the night & Every night I cleanse myself from the day. I am healing and I feel stronger than I have in my life. You helped me to achieve more self-awareness and self-actualization than anyone before you. That is a lifetime of psychiatrists and therapists, off and on since kindergarten. From my mind, heart and soul, Thank you. 🌹 💐 🌼 🌸 🌻 🌹
My happiness feels more like gratitude. Emotionally, I struggle to feel anything, but the gratitude I feel for a peaceful, safe and secure environment I live now is immense. I am grateful every single day that I am no longer being abused in any way by any one and this means everything to me.
Excellent! We can call it what works for us. Growing up, Gratitude was weaponized to control us. The term Feel Good works better for me.
I left my ex in 1999, and recently I turned 60. I am a cancer survivor and recently started the process of working to get a gastric surgery to get rid of my diabetes. I have had to give up all my bad coping skills in order to learn how to live in a much smaller body. My body has definitely been a cushioning for me to avoid people. Well now I am having really bad nightmares almost every night! My therapist said now my body is ready to feel the unfelt traumas that I pushed down with food. It is horrible but I am dedicated to move on from this mess! I want the freedom you speak of! Thank you Dr Ramani!
Write down the nightmares , it helps.
Almost four years have passed since I left my narcissistic husband of 30 years. It’s so nice to wake up peacefully and go to bed without worrying about his mood. I feel a sense of freedom and happiness. However, every day, at least once, I still experience flashbacks of moments when he unfairly blamed me or gave me the cold shoulder. Since even the smallest details of life could trigger his anger and blame, even though I now live alone, any small thing can still cause a flashback. For example, when I break a dish, I feel relieved that no one is here to blame me, but at the same time, I remember how he used to scream at me. My feeling of freedom and happiness often serves as a reminder of the painful moments of the marriage.
Reading your post felt like me reading my story.
I escaped my 37 yr marriage. 5 years ago. My sense of freedom and peace keeps getting better. I am grateful.
Happiness to me would be, to be able to just live in the moment. WITHOUT thinking about the past and worrying about the future.
Yes. That’s how I feel too.
“When my depression works the graveyard shift,
All of the people I’ve ghosted stand there in the room…”
Getting them out of your head may be as difficult as getting them out of your life IMHO
Thank you, Dr. Ramani. My serenity and peace of mind are a priority for me. And no one will make me feel guilty about it.
It makes me happy to see sunflowers growing in the most unlikely places around my home. How a plant can create so many smiling faces, one after the other, out of dry, barren soil is astonishing to me. 🌻
Have totally learned to appreciate the small and big things like getting away from toxic people and situations. Learning to embrace the good memories and amazing things I’ve done despite the narcissists. Taking myself back! Totally letting myself breathe and laugh again. Grateful for my peace, freedoms, blessings, loved ones and safe people. Thank you Dr Ramani ❤
Hi from Australia 🇦🇺 ☺️ A couple of days ago I went into a store to shop. I entered in a happy frame of mind. Saying good morning to this bully. The owner of the store was so rude, that it was disgusting. I have just come from a volatile situation. The Sin i committed was asking twice about a misunderstanding i had about pricing. This guy rolled his eyes asked me what i was still doing in his shop. I began to shake and told him to stop. He said he didnt give a f**k about my circumstances. Told me to get out. Wth. I did nothing wrong. Im also a 57 year young women & at 48kg i was an easy target for this bully. I cried all the way home. It took me back to the trauma i had already suffered. I felt like going home and never going out again 😢
What a rude idiot of a man; I am so sorry this happened to you. Imagine his wife/family, it must be a nightmare knowing him. 😂
I have done all the things that are recommended for survival. However, Just yesterday I was ruminating on how I was once known for my joy, and now I always feel so weighed down, once again blaming myself. It’s Always so validating to know I’m not alone and this is just how it goes when you try to keep making things work. Thank you for this good word!