WATCH OUT for the narcissistic relationship SNOW DAY
Every so often in a narcissistic relationship, there’s a “good day” that feels like everything you’ve been hoping for. The fighting stops, kindness shows up, and for a moment it feels like the relationship you always wanted. But just like real snow days, these moments don’t last—and believing they will can keep you stuck in the cycle. In this video, Dr. Ramani breaks down why these rare days feel so powerful, and how to see them for what they really are.
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
Oh yes, I remember anticipating snow days by the radio clearly!!
This is an excellent analogy and resonates with me more than I can accurately convey. Thank you! ❤
Yes 🙌 I LOVE SNOW DAYS!!! Even when I knew being stuck at home would turn into a nightmare, I was still excited thinking that it might be different this time. ❤😅
Super analogy ! Thank you a milion, dr Ramani ❤💐!
Such a good analogy. They are Mrs or Mr Snowday or Rainday or Stormday and you are a little human having to deal with that. They control the weather in the relationship. Anyway, they control everything.
Growing up, snow days didn’t feel like a magical break from the universe. While other kids saw them as a gift, I would have gladly walked through a blizzard just to be anywhere else. Staying home meant being surrounded by arguments, yelling, and chaos. But here’s the part that matters:
I’m reshaping what snow days mean to me now. I’m choosing to turn something that once felt chaotic into a reminder of how far I’ve come. I’m creating new meanings, new memories, and new stories for myself. So for me, snow days weren’t cozy or comforting. They were cold, loud, and heavy—memories of a home that didn’t feel peaceful. Because we don’t get to choose how our childhood shaped us—but we do get to choose how we grow beyond it.
I grew up in Indiana and I remember the blizzard of 78! Thank you for helping me keep my focus on the climate and not just the weather on this one day!
For me, those snow days were always Disneyland days – for some reason, my narc parent was a totally different person there.
At 72 I still remember those snow days. As an adult and scapegoat of my family, I tried so hard to have a relationship with my sister and to impress her to no avail. You are correct, once the huff and puff would come indicating I had screwed up again I would spend hours and hours analyzing our whole interaction in an effort to figure out what I had done wrong.
Narcissists show up during our most vulnerable times sad!
I am so proud of knowing what snow day is by reading diary of a wimpy kid
Usually, by the time you learn the person is a “covert narcissist”, you have already ‘dealt’ with them in one way or another. You cannot and will not recognize the person as a ‘covert narcissist’ just by looking at them or having casual interactions with them. You have to observe, listen, and understand what you SAW, what you HEARD, and WHY you SAW and HEARD that. Now don’t that sound easy.
The better question is how do you STOP ‘dealing with’ a covert narcissist once you understand what you SAW, what you HEARD, and WHY you SAW and HEARD that? The ‘best way’ to ‘deal with a covert narcissist’ is to STOP listening, STOP observing, STOP wondering WHY, and STOP having ANY interaction with them.
If you MUST have interactions with them, limit the interactions as much as possible. No “hi, how are you doing”, no “hi, I wish I had time to talk to you”, no “hi, it’s nice to see you” — just “hi, hope you’re doing well, I’ve got to run” or just “hi” and keep walking.
If at all possible, avoid ANY setting or situation where the narcissist or a ‘flying monkey’ can observe you or listen to you. ‘Flying monkeys’ are the narcissist’s ‘possessions’. Dealing with or interacting with anything or anybody the narcissist ‘owns’ is considered the same as ‘dealing with’ or interacting with the narcissist. The more you ‘deal with’ a covert narcissist, the more you will have to ‘deal with’.
Do not ‘run’ from a covert narcissist unless you can ‘run’ totally away from them. When you ‘run’ from a narcissist, it makes them feel powerful and important. They like that and will make a sport out of watching you ‘run’.
Once you ‘learn’ the person is a ‘covert narcissist’, you have to ‘learn’ to either ‘covertly’ avoid the hell out of them or ‘overtly’ have NO CONTACT with them and refuse to ‘deal with’ them. This all SOUNDS so simple and easy, but ask anybody who has ever “dealt with” one and they’ll tell you it’s one of hardest things they’ve ever ‘dealt with’.
And if your gut is screaming that they’ve been cheating, lying, or still manipulating in the background — don’t second-guess your instincts. Get quiet proof. Send a discreet request to digitalinvestigate@gmail. com for confidential help catching a cheating narcissist.
On another of Dr. Ramani’s videos, she mentioned how she would ask her patients about what they loved about their narcissistic partner, leading to a stalled, “Well… uh… chemistry and connection?” Today’s video seems to explain this joy a little better. Those snow day moments are indescribably magic and fill us with an unfortunately deafening hope.
Excellent analogy, I loved this
A snow day was magic
Such a great analogy for a good day with a narcissist.
The only real snow day in my situation is when he travels. A lovely respite.
Good memories in grade school I’d watch the field across the street. If it got covered with snow ya! No school. I get the narcissistic drift. Back in Kansas they would have 6 foot snow drifts left even after the snow! Good way to look at it. I actually felt it today. – Happy probably a bit to happy.. will I ever learn? Excellent analogy!
I appreciate this. When I see myself in situations where those “snow days” were my hopes of the future, I can now see them as “spa days” to recoup and rejuvenate myself. I appreciate them more, knowing they are fleeting and it is not centered now around those false hopes of my past.
Love this analogy! I remember show days, but being “trapped” at home inside with my immediate family. YIKESS!!!!