Can an adult SUDDENLY become narcissistic?
It can feel shocking when someone you love suddenly seems to change—kind, caring one moment, and cruel or self-centered the next. In this video, Dr. Ramani explores whether a person can truly become narcissistic in adulthood or if those traits were always there beneath the surface. She breaks down what’s really happening when someone’s personality shifts after stress, trauma, or a major life event—and why it often reveals, rather than creates, narcissism. Understanding this distinction can help you make sense of what changed—and protect yourself from future confusion.
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
Very informative respected Madam 🎉!
❤❤❤ Thank you very well said.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m losing my empathy and that my personality is changing, but really I’m just exhausted from existing.
Keep on keeping on, I hope things will get better for you!
I understand. Hugs
You’re not ❤ You’re just disattached to abuse
Same, and I’m learning boundaries and to limit my giving and people pleasing.
A normal response to stress……
I spent a lot of time being abused, stuck in insolation, not sure who i can trust. I feel very hollowed out, and I am even isolated from recovery spaces. I am in survival mode. If the only people I’ve been around are narcissists. I feel like the punches keep coming and I’m very angry and that all people suck.
Could this be why I feel like the narasistist now because of my 23 yr marriage to a narasistist Im just now realizing has been abusive??? 😢😢
You are talking about my son and I. Even his terminology has changed. I don’t know him anymore and it breaks my heart.
My brother had 2 frontal lobe seizures 2 years ago and we are starting to notice the change in his personality , he was this awesome deeply empathetic kind understanding supportive person but he is slowly getting more antagonist and selfish , also reactive and defensive over nothing .. it’s so sad to see and frankly hard to deal with especially that we have a very troubled narcissistic mother already .. I have no idea how to help but I’ll make sure to speak to his doctor in his next appointment ..
I’ve heard one theory, which I really like, that most humans have a mix of narcissistic traits and empathetic traits. Narcissistic traits help people survive in a difficult, cutthroat world, but empathetic traits help us to survive as a social species. From a Biblical perspective, empathetic traits reflect the fact that humanity is made in the image of God; our empathetic traits like kindness, forgiveness, truth-seeking, willingness to sacrifice for others, reflect God’s character. The narcissistic traits, such as manipulation, controlling others, lying, gaslighting, lack of empathy, arise from humanity’s fallen nature. In the narcissist, the empathetic traits have been pathologically suppressed, so that the narcissist is governed solely by the narcissistic traits. Ironically, most narcissists still find themselves compelled to try to fake the empathetic traits in order to survive in society. They succeed to varying degrees. Those who find themselves consistently unable to fake the empathetic traits often end up as social outcasts or in jail.
Thank you alicia. This one resonates super deeply. I felt called deeply by spirit for the last 2-ish years toward not only working through my own grief but helping others work through theirs. Everything from early Trauma, recent losses of all kinds, or the grief of the state of things, and the deconstruction beliefs like you spoke about.I’ve been thru out all and then some and realized I’m here to lean into that as I’ve always known in spite of consistent attacks against it, that the only way out of it is THRU it. Thank you for not only the confirmation, but the encouragement to step towards that 180° shift from my past occupation, into things that scare me so much because I do not like being public, and uncertain or not having a plan /skills, but I need to be doing it anyway.
i am still in it, so reclaiming my self worth looks an awful lot like being a narc. This gave me tons of guilt and doubt in the beginning, and occasionally, when the narc gets one in on me, I go back to the feeling of guilt or doubt, to choose my well being above their needs.
Im so afraid of how being in this toxic relationship for several years is harming my mental health and that Im too old for that to be happening. Older people need to be aware the company they keep and choices they make due to vulnerability, its hard and the struggle is real. Not many want to be old and alone and I was one of them, however, Id rather go through just about anything than endure more years of a toxic living arrangement. I don’t care anymore.
There are veterans who were literally forced to kill other people against their will. Those of them who had empathy, can still find it in their heart even under the toll of their terrible trauma.
I don’t see why not for 2 reasons
1. NPD Is a personality disorder….
2. The Inner child can be wounded at any age…and a UNHEALED wound only gets deeper with age
They pound on you so ruthless that the narrississic abuse alone causes brain injury to the person who is just trying to wake up for the day. It makes one feel as if their own empathy is dying then they are battling themselves trying to save that last piece of empathy as they sit there and think, they turned me into a narcissist like them. The impact of this abuse is lifethreating. The worse is they get away with it over and over. Thank you Dr R, for all the hard work you do, the awareness you bring is as bright as diamonds. Love you Dr R.
I’m a stroke survivor. After I had my stroke I told my friends to tell me if my personality changed in a negative way. They never have.
Another point from my experience is that following my stroke, I had to become a harsher person because some people saw my injury as a way to take advantage of me; it brought out the narcissism in others. So even if a brain injury doesn’t make you more narcissistic, surviving how some people respond to it may make you colder in order to survive.
It’s not just about excusing them, sometimes things go well bcs you are behaving like they want, perhaps you are insecure, you do not pursue your goals/independence so they don’t feel threatened. Sometimes financial problems arrive and all of a sudden they are so stressed out, so you see their true colors. Life happens, and in difficult times you see people’s real self.
Thank you for your invaluable help and support dr Ramani 🙏 God bless you ❤️
I grew up under the thumb of an extreme covert narcissist mother. I also fought her daily ever since the age of 2. There was just something about her that I did not like, even at that age. She was emotionally and psychologically damaging to most people around her, but mostly us siblings. She was a very cruel human being…sneaky, and always trying to harm those she did not like behind their backs. Why she hated her own kids was baffling to all of us, but we endured that and then moved on as soon as we were able to do so. Did I feel the repercussions of that? Absolutely. I didn’t even know what a narcissist was at that age. We knew there was something wrong with her, but we never knew how to identify that. Once I learned what a narcissist is, THEN I was able to recover. At the age of 12, I swore out loud to God that I would NEVER be like her, and I stuck to that promise.
My grandson was deeply traumatized when he was in his mid teens by his dad. In the center of it was COVID. My grandson was highly social, active in school and sports. He was sweet, considerate, happy, empathetic, caring.
The abuse was deep and cutting. He left home and after I saw him about a year later, his personality changed into what I saw as classic narcissism. He fit the bill of all I have learned from you. Since then, processing this from the standpoint of my own healing from narcicisstic abuse has been confusing and painful. His journey through adolescence made it confusing because of the brain development of kids. I finally had to let go for my benefit. I can’t really wait and see because that is countering my own attachment issues and healing. The grief has been deep all around. The one thing this kid, now 20, gave me was knowing what attachment is. Now he taught me how to let go and just be with me.
That’s it post traumatic personality change in my daughter and granddaughter. I don’t even have words to describe the viciousness of these narcissists!! I know my granddaughter is very ill. My daughter had a complete personality change. There were to many narcissists targeting myself and my girls at the same time. Go figure each with their own individual agenda. Playing off of each other. I’m livid , but I can finally put a name to this and quit scratching my head, she never showed any hard narcissism!! What am I dealing with. Ty sooo much Dr Ramani! ❤