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Andrew McLaurin
God bless you
Thank you
From Trinidad & Tobago
This is 100% true. The narcissist taught me to tamp down my emotions to stay safe. I was not allowed to get angry. I was not allowed to state wants and needs. I was not allowed to stand up for myself. The only emotion response I couldn’t escape from was tears. I did cry but tried to hide it. The only thing that would stop the hours of shaming and rage was self harm. It was a learned response the nex taught me. They were All learned patterns from being with a narcissist. Thankfully, I am out now 2.5 yrs and thx to Dr Ramani and a lot of therapy, I am once again not only finding who Lori is but Joy in this spring season. It is not easy and it is a long journey and It Is Worth it!
Get away from the narcissist when you can, it will save your life.
To Know about the truth check my bio
I am new to narcissism, but that’s not covert, right? Maybe grandiose? Malignant (Gee, I hope not!)? Self-righteous? You know best.
I wish you a lot of protection and care.
@renatamayumikobata when I was first exploring narcissism and NPD, (narcissist personality disorder), like you I had a lot of questions. My therapist(s) were clueless. I actually started sharing with one what I was learning. Like everyone on this forum, my story is complicated. I actually became worse at the “hands” of the narcissist. For me, in the beginning, it didn’t matter if malignant, grandiose, covert, Yada Yada.
What matter was learning to recognize the patterns and how I was reacting.
Fortunately I found Dr Ramani. That, And finding a therapist who understands narcissism was the key for helping me understand and get out. It also showed me the other narcissists in my life. I was lucky, I did not grow up with narcissist parents. I did not know or understand narcissism. I do today and honestly, if someone shows signs of narcissism, even though we all have a little bit, I get out. I do not ignore the red flags or what my body is telling me. I am glad I can say that today. Am I fully healed? No. I still mourn who I was before I met the narcissist. I wish I had never gotten involved with him but I am grateful I am alive today and get to celebrate the little joys, sometimes bigger joys, that life has to offer.
Good luck on this journey. Stay with Dr Ramani. If you can get therapy with someone who understands narcissism, not everyone does and that adds to the mental dissonance and holds back your healing. May God/Goddess bless you
@lorianttila9698 Thanks for your words! God loves you and wants you to be truly happy. And you stay with Dr. Ramani as well. She’s a great guidance and has a lot of experience. I don’t date, but her content is quite useful for me, too. Much gratitude!
@lorianttila9698
U r a real gem
Remember these words
Whatever might happen. Never give up. Never decide it is over. Keep the good faith. U r a gem
Gluck with everything. I will think of u now n then ❤❤ n hope for the best ❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉🎉
“In charge of reality…” delusional and weak
Sad but true!
God bless you, Ma’am!
I often send you prayers.
From Brazil to the USofA 💚
Thank you
Yes absolutely true. I used to be very cheerful. I’d sing, tell jokes, dance, etc. Now, even though I now live alone and my main narcissists are no longer in my life, I feel my joy gone. Even my dad told me he hadn’t seen me smile in a long time until yesterday. I’m struggling to get it back.
You will get there. Stay with it, it is possible. Treat yourself to something, even if it is eating something you were told is too decadent. Buy yourself a lovely smelling lotion and rub it on your skin after you bathe. Little steps will help you get in touch with your joy again
@lorianttila9698that’s a wonderful idea. Will start today. Thank you very much. Many blessings. ❤
As a result of the narcissistic in my life I ware a frown on my face even without realizing it. My kids told me.😢
@mery8630I’m sorry. Hopefully we will be able to get rid of those frowns and have a smile instead. Let’s work on it.
The family joke was the my father would say to me “I will knock that happiness out of you” and everyone would laugh.
I’m so sorry.
I remember telling my father when I was old enough to understand, Jackie Gleason telling his wife on the Honeymooners, one of these days…pow! To the moon.
I told my father that was not funny,
It was abuse
As a child growing up with a covert narcissist mom, I learned that the happy times don’t last. Anytime things were a bit smoother at home, I learned to not get hopeful or happy because it inevitably would go back to walking on eggshells and misery within days. Now whenever something good happens in my life, and I feel the emotion of happiness, I get anxious and tamp it down because I feel stuck in that mindset that it’s too hurtful to be hopeful or happy because it won’t last and something bad will happen.
They steal joy, control truth, destroy identities, and stomp the will to live out of people. It’s insidious, hateful behavior.
6 years with a narcissistic ex 4 years with a psychopath i think about suicide every second the life and joy has been drained out of me and all they care about is using my child to hurt me and make out im ill to people. These people are so self absorbed its actually sickening and made me not want to live in the world. These people are pure evil and make everyone miserable
@42.421plse be strong for your child. Not everyone is a narcist
🍀🙏🧡
Yes,it’s true,in a job reality too.
Covert narc wife killed my adult piano journey shortly after we got married. Playing music is part of my identity and what brings me joy. We are getting divorced now, and believe me you’ve seen nothing until this happens!
They have to be in charge of reality. We have to give up our reality to accommodate theirs ..
YES!
Oh, so you’ve met my neighbor.
Spot on ❤❤❤🙏10000 %%%%x
Dr. Ramani, you bring joy to so many people. Also, this green color on you looks fantastic/fabulous❤
Yes, unfortunately since I was a kid because my mom. And then both my mom and partner. And I realized that I still not feel attracted by good people. If I don’t see a need of helping I don’t really even look at it. Isn’t crazy?
So I decided that until I change that pattern, I will be alone.
After 20 years of slowly but relentlessly getting my joy and enthusiasm ground down by my now ex husband he said ”you’re just not a happy person so it’s no fun to be with you” and he left. But let me tell you life without him is soooo full of joy, I love it!
It took me a long time to realize that the narcissists in my life couldn’t stand it when I was joyful. I see it now, though. What miserable people they are.
He stole the light out of my eyes.