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Staying with 1 led to suicide for my Father. Staying is very deadly, have no doubt- and a malignant wants you to off yourself
I once locked my bedroom door to keep him out because he kept provoking arguments late into the night. He picked the lock and flipped on the light, saying, “I thought you were in here k*lling yourself, so I had to get in.” Such BS. Just an AH harassing me and my dogs. I HATE the years I wasted on that clown. Then he sat in the room and wouldn’t leave. Gross.
My parents want me dead. They have been telling me my whole life directly and indirectly. I know they will keep on spilling lies if I were gone. They would probably put me in an anonymous grave, bc it’s cheaper. Lately my mother keeps taking pictures of me in random situations. She never did that before. I read from someone else in a similar situation narcs do that to prove their innocence later.
I’m so disgusted by them… there are no words for this.
@happytreefriend2619im so sorry you are stuck with them. I escaped at 12, then 18
Yep there is levels of evil some is more of psychological abuse to the wife
But the rest of their existence is normal behavior; work, kids, relatives, religion .
Or we learn how to live with them and their distorted perception on how to treat others and how to have a healthy marriage or pack and leave !
it’s much harder when the abusive behaviour is towards one but not others cos then other people aren’t convinced he could be like that, then there’s a higher likelihood they’ll think you must be the problem, especially if he’s charming and you’re always on edge or upset
@neelubirdTruth! I can relate to how pathetically fooled all of her flying monkeys are. But I don’t forgive them. If they want forgiveness they can ask for it.
Luckily I stood my ground. He called me a spitfire. Going to be brutally honest now. Once I found out he had aggressive cancer I wasn’t going anywhere. First, because I loved him and second I would never have abandoned him during illness. And,,,I knew everything would be mine. Every good busness decision I made on our behalf had paid off and I wasn’t walking away from it. Just being honest.
It’s true. The key is to ground yourself in reality and go deep with those narcisists.
Today, I finally reached the radical acceptance phase. I have relieved him by proving himself by going to therapy because, after two years, he has only used it as a performance or weaponization. I now recognize the discarding and devaluation stages. I am choosing myself. After devoting yourself to someone for many years, only to learn that they never existed, is painful. However, it’s a blessing in disguise because it relieves you of self-doubt.
I hear you. I am so happy you made it to where you are now! It is awful, but so much better.
This has become very typical in my experience. They know how unhealthy they are so they gameify their therapist pretending they are being honest and transparent. Guess what? They are not telling the therapist anything close to actual reality, it’s not your fault. The only effective way to use therapy is to be honest with yourself and your therapist!
💔
It is something I am not capable of. All of the abuse will not go away. The triangulation, devaluation, gaslighting, lies, smear campaigns, control, apathy, double standards…all of it will still be there. There is no amount of money, power, or privilege that is worth my well being. Cutting off their narcissistic supply is the one definitive way I can hurt them back and I choose no contact.
It’s a fake relationship. One must look inward and have a healthy dose of self worth. You are only selling yourself short by staying with one. Why would you want to live a lie ? Rather be with someone who matches my energy ! Love your material !
I regret to say that I never would have left if they didn’t discard me completely. I bought into their game, hook line and sinker. Even as their abuse ramped up to ridiculous levels, it just made me try harder. I worried that they had an underlying medical problem. The change in their behavior was so severe, that was the only explanation I could think of. I tried harder and harder and gave them more space in my mind. I did not take it lying down. I always fought back against whatever trumped-up grievance they had against me that day. But, more often than not, fighting back only played in to what they wanted. I was the abuser. I was driving them crazy. It was my fault they acted the way they did. They finally told me to get out and never come back. The bubble popped in my head. Suddenly I realized how small I had become. They had taken up so much space inside me. When it was ripped away there wasn’t much left but empty container.
I work with a pn
I think he almost killed me n that am still recovering
I have tried to … let him go. Several times. He wouldnt leave.
I could find no help so I made the decision to work with it.
N I think he will leave, eventually. Because he is losing the fun of chasing me, I have stopped runnkng away – n he will realize sooner or later that am not having sex with him
But he has already ruined a lot for me. 😢
I have reached a point where I work n make him obey n dont expect much … but of course there is always an issue. He is the pathological lying grandiose n so on type
He is facing reality more n more n I say it again, he will leave, eventually. But how … right … 😞 these animals dislike defeat.
These r like sadistic young animals. They want what they cant have.
They destroy either what they have or dont have
I have a bionic memory so whenever he tries to brainwash me I either ignore him or if it useful, give him time, day, what he was wearing n how many times he sneezed … he gets mad at me n says that my brain works too well … as if it was a flaw 😂😂😂😂
He wants conflict but I remain polite n he mumbles that behind my polite n perfect language, am being more cruel than an agressive personne
His latest stunt has given me so much stress that I thought I would end blind. I am healing … sigh
I dont know how long he will allow me to remain far n unreachable before attacking again
But I know I will leave this country, sooner or later, at least for a while
So far, I like my job, my life here n I do not want to leave just to leave. I do not want to run away.
I will have to leave for my studies but so far I am studying from abroad n remain stable n I like it this way.
I am quietly building something new. Enjoying everything good. N detaching more n more from the chaos.
Am learning …
Thanks a lot for your protection, support, shared knowledge here.
For instance, today again, u r showing less radical opinions in order to reach the most vulnerable because we know that sometimes we cannot (or dont want to) leave. Or we need time.
No guilt. Freedom of choice. How to survive. Deep advice …
U r such a good human being … ❤❤
U r saving so many lives …
❤❤ take care ♡♡♥︎♥︎
Absolutely not! I desire deep genuine connection, a narcissist is not capable of the connection I’m after. I’ve walked away in both instances and understand why now I’ve had 2 of these woman in my life!