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If you decide to stay with a narcissist, YOU NEED TO HEAR THUS
Andrew McLaurin
My narcissistic mother made me feel guilty because of her desire to be idolized, she would use the bible to judge me while she was guilty of the same as of she wanted me to worship her as God. Im now 59 and it wasnt till i was 55 that i was finally convinced that continuning to have that destructive relationship with her was mentally not good for me. Since then i dont ponder suicide and have been able to heal the child inside me that she never loved.
Yes. Totally, 100%
Always feeling guilty despite giving it my all, very frustrated, can’t think of anything else that would be enough.
Which is the hint in itself.
If nothing ever is good enough…it hasn’t got to do with you at all.🙏 Hope, you can break free
Feel like it is all my fault, no matter how hard I try to make it better.
There isn’t anymore. I’m learning that mediocre effort can produce a lot of good fruit in the right kind of soil and all the effort in the world isn’t going to grow anything in sand. Narcissistic relationships are like trying to grow love in sand. Not gonna happen. You’re willingness to try so hard says so so much about you. Count your losses now and proceed in your life in whatever way you choose but stop putting seed in the sand. K? Me too.
My covert/malignant narcissist mother and husband always turn everything around, and my reaction to their abuse and neglect is the “PROBLEM” always. It is never their fault….couldn’t possibly be the problem is THEM!!
You know what else is hard about that is that if you get over the guilt — there are PLENTY of “family” and “friends” there ready to beat on you emotionally & verbally and call you “selfish”
Guit for leaving siblings behind, after _ attempted to sTrg|e me & was interrupted. 🙏😭
I feel like the bad on because no one else sees (or wants to see) what’s going on. My current situation deals with my SIL, which triggers memories from growing up with my mother who was a vulnerable narcissist.
USUALLY 😅
I remember when I was maybe 6 or so… I was in the bathroom insulting myself in the mirror and punching myself in the arm and chest until I cried, because my parents had convinced me that I’m the source of all evil in this world (yes not not just in their lives, but worldwide. And that coming from a non religious background…)
Most of the time I doubted myself… It took a long time to see a pattern and check facts… It helped me to place myself at a position where I thought, I was not wrong.
Me everyday!!
They always made me feel guilty. Everything was my fault. And at some point I believe it was! But at the same time…a little voice in me said: “Too bad. You are you. You can’t change.”
I was only a kid.
But yeah, I felt guilty whenever I talked to someone and suddenly thought: Oh…I wasn’t allowed to say that.
It was always my fault.. just ask my ex! She’ll tell you.. but I have ADHD, which she denied that it even exists.. but I always thought this is the reason we couldn’t have peace.. but I was wrong, she didn’t need to turn everything into an argument..
I NO longer feel GUILTY after being married for 29 years!!!… Despite Marriage Counseling and Forgiveness…He made his choice!!! I’m his virgin wife AND I remained faithful…I hope there is a God.
Yup. Every boundary I set brings my own internal backlash of guilt and anxiety.
What made it worse was after I left him finally, after my family and friends complained that I always stayed so I had no room to complain or be upset…became his flying monkeys! They literally got angry at me for leaving him! They took his side and helped him harass me and make my life miserable! My youngest sister and her husband were driving my car he took from me! I had no vehicle and had almost paid that one off! He used it as collateral on a huge loan for his Harley so it was either pay his Harley note or give him the car…so he let everyone drive it…I had no friends left and my family with the exception of my dad and my brothers, took his side and actively attacked me! His friends went as far as signing fake leases to try getting more money out of me that I didn’t have…all ehile raising two sons on my own!
They gaslit me so bad I still feel guilt for what all happened even though I wasn’t the one instigating anything! I told my ex he needed to give me space so that I could figure out what I wanted to do. He didn’t listen and did the opposite. He gave me no other choice.
That’s the worst part about it all. Not knowing what ur guilty of
My former friend is a narcissist. She spent a lot of time making me feel guilty about not pursuing her interests or spending time with her! I decided it was time to cut the relationship loose! Best decision I made in years! I enjoy my peace!