How to Protect Your Mental Health Around Toxic People
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
Recovering from narcissistic abuse like recovering from any kind of abuse takes time moment and day by day. Because none of us were taught how to deal with narcissistic people from early age. It will take decades to fully recover.
very true
Yep, I’ve been healing for 5+ years from over 30years of it. It’s a lifetime. But, worth it. 🫶🏼
very true
Lower your emotional investment, stay neutral, don’t react, set boundaries without arguing, and don’t try to change them.
yes. this is the only way. Do not engage. the only winning move is not to play. they will keep doing the BS, and then it is painfully obvious who the one is who cannot behave properly, when you do not return fire.
N be financially independent
Narcissists always have enablers surrounding them.
Narcs = not worthy partner, you only got one life..
Always
Their mothers most of the time since even their best friends will eventually dump them.
Don’t go deep don’t defend don’t engage don’t explain don’t personalize
Empathy and compassion isn’t where you are someone’s punching bag
Exactly ❤
When they do you wrong it’s not you
Forgiveness doesn’t mean you forget what someone did
stop spamming the comments.
Forgiveness is not mandatory
Thank you Dr . 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹
I went no contact with my narcissistic mother couple years ago aged 48. Thankfully it worked out and now I can have short phonecalls weekly with my dad. Conversations I never had before and I truly treasure. I treasure my freedom now, being able to heal and not going through the constant heartbreak I went through for decades. The sacrifice is i don’t see my dad, I had to move to a different country , leave all my friends behind and start from zero. Was it worth it? 100%. But only because by God’s grace I’m still able to talk to my dad. I took a massive risk and it worked out.
I am so glad it worked out for you. 🌷
@LL-wu8ztthank you so very much. That’s so kind of you.
Thank you
I can’t thank you enough for your wisdom and kindness ❤
❤
My (our) muther, yes I purposely spelled it that way;
Has a vindictive, visceral HATRED towards all of us kids ( now all adults/seniors ourselves)
She loves us for what we can do for her, not for what we have done for her. Her love is a currency exchange!
She physically abused us when we were young.
She accuses us of “stealing” from her, without coming right out and saying so. Then she demands to know when where and what when. I have STOPPED doing for her and that has turned the whole system upside down!
But other family members have stepped in to take my place.
She has stated she WILL NOT CHANGE!
So I am choosing to change how I have a relationship with her.
the only winning move is not to play.
Wargames. Nice. Big wisdom!
Love that. TY cuz I wasn’t sure which route to take
U still lose something
Although it may be true that there’s no pain free path, radical acceptance was a huge relief, and prevented a whole world of further unnecessary pain
No pain-free path~Gabor Maté
❤❤❤ Your words of wisdom are literally life-saving. So many of us cannot leave *all* the relationships with narcs- they’re everywhere. With the rough job market in the US, and elsewhere, it is rare to work in a narc-free culture. Staying for that paycheck and health benefits are real. For me, the radical acceptance is being clear to myself what BS I’m willing to/ have to navigate around to get what I need out of a situatuon- and even see/create opportunities for myself both at and outside of the job. To prioritize experiences of growth and joy as much as possible- because that keeps me going (and sane). To prioritize my inner-peace and freedom. 😊
Exhausting to entertain them, feel bad for anyone who has real ties to one
There’s a pattern that shows up in these relationships that most people keep misreading. the hope for change isn’t optimism. it’s a trap built into the structure of the dynamic itself. it’s not love keeping you there, it’s the unresolved expectation. when someone intermittently rewards and withdraws, your nervous system starts organizing itself around the possibility of resolution. the hope isn’t irrational. it’s a trained response. you were conditioned to believe the good version of them is the real version, and the harmful version is the exception. so you keep waiting for the exception to end. and that waiting becomes the relationship. a book got recommended to me in the middle of that loop, “For Those of You Who Feel Invisible”, and it reframed something i hadn’t been able to name. the grief isn’t just about the person. it’s about the version of reality you built around the expectation of them changing. and that part doesn’t really resolve cleanly. there is no pain free path. that’s not a motivational phrase. that’s the uncomfortable math behind the whole thing.
This is really revelatory in a way – that there is no pain free way, as simple as that sounds. Facing reality sucks but at the same time it’s liberating as at least in your mind, if you are stuck for now, your mind’s wheels start turning with thoughts about what will fulfill your potential, what will make you whole, instead of using all that mental energy to manage a difficult person. It’s like a rebirth or going through a crucible or other analogy that fits – it’s excruciating but there is something new being made instead of the hell of trying and working and all those desperate measures that are so exhausting. I think it’s another level of maturity in a way, to ditch the romantic notions of what the relationship was supposed to be, and at least in your mind, fly solo just the way you want to be, with as many small moves towards the new place you want to be in the meantime. Do stuff you want to do unapologetically as the jerk will be an A-hole either way, for example. That’s my plan for now anyway. I love this channel!
Thank you for verbalizing this for me.
Yes, he hired a man who stalked me for years. I have not seen my sons and grandchildren for years.
My little brother insists that I go to his baptism this Sunday. My mother and older brother are going to be there. Lend me as much strength as you can.