What Wise People Understand About Narcissists
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
DEEP:
DON’T DEFEND
DON’T ENGAGE
DON’T EXPLAIN
DON’T PERSONALIZE
just leaving them to enjoy their fantasy echochamber
@ArcticFirepixyTUESDAY 😂
💯
Damn autofill, TRUE..
Me need a way to defend against this as a society.
Call them out and get ready for a knock down drag out fight for hours, maybe even days…
Weeks, months, years, decades…
THEY never forgive even the slightest hint of shade from others BUT others are required to overlook their pathological selfishness. They REFUSE to give an honest look at “the man/woman in the mirror”, see their flaws and grow as a person.🪞
For them, it is all about protecting their IMAGE, or the IDOL of the FALSE SELF (who they imagine they are, how they want to be seen by the world) because that is already “PERFECT”. There is good reason why PRIDE is considered a “Deadly Sin”.
Will the vulnerable narcissist give you the silent treatment?
@julias.4980decades most definitely a century if we all live that long. They NEVER forget.the make believe story they have affixed to your life
@julias.4980 They collect wounds and even if you’ve never hurt them….they’ll remind you neck snapping quick they’ve been hurt before.
@renatamayumikobata Oh yes, at the drop of a hat! So many days in my childhood with my vulnerable narcissist mom would wait until it was time to go somewhere and then suddenly disappear in her room for hours, refuse to engage, and she would be on the phone to a friend complaining and complaining about perceived slights, invented conspiracies, every kind of drama. All of this at a loud enough volume that she could be overheard, so it wasn’t exactly the silent treatment. When she wasn’t the absolute center of attention she would disappear, forcing everything to revolve around her insecurities and unreality. Later she would emerge with a new tale about how I ruined her day and it would go on the big list of grievances she keeps in her head (not much room for anything else in there tbh…)
Video resonates thank you Dr.Ramani. I liked the trees forest metaphor. With one, I left that forest- boy was it a dark forest.
It was exhausting. Your videos are so helpful and much appreciated.
🫶💯You commented perfectly❤️🤍🤍sᴇɴᴅ🤍🤍ᴍᴇ🤍🤍ᴀ🤍🤍ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛ🤍🤍ᴛᴇxᴛ±𝟷𝟿𝟶𝟺𝟺𝟺𝟿𝟷𝟺𝟼𝟾🤍 0:04 0:01
“The road to hell is paved with good intentions” no truer words have been spoken with the narcissistic people I’ve dealt with 😅
Same here
If it’s “people”, all of them are probably not narcissists. Narcissists only constitutes 1% of the population.
But there’s a big contrast between an empath/people pleaser and a normal person as well…
@heureuse8568 oh no way. Narcissists are way more common than what these experts say. The reason being is they don’t seek out treatment so the numbers are all fudged 😅
@JohnEffy-m6v”treatment”. Sounds like business opportunity☺️
@heureuse8568 well for people who aren’t self starters
For people who aren’t interested in self transformation, they would have to be the ones that go to the business model for help😳😐
Yes, I was caught in those dynamics of trying to please the narcissts in my life and they were never content. Thanks to your videos I was able to see the mire.
You have the to see the narcissist and patterns and your part after getting educated, to detach and leave.
Love Bombing, Bread Crumbing, Future Faking and other classic Narc “shiny distraction tactics” are all part of hedge of Fake Trees they use to hide the Rotten Haunted Forest of their Soul.
Seeing the _trees_ only = INTELLECTUALIZATION
Great book by Dr Peter Salerno, “TRAUMATIC COGNITIVE DISSONANCE”!
It’s a shame on how they watch everything you do and say. And you can be just commenting on a social media post and they will internalize or twisted what you say. Always thinking someone is talking about them or twisted it as if it’s about you. I can’t understand why if in a relationship or wanting to be in a relationship with someone who they claim just can’t get anything right they still want to be involved. Why not end the relationship and (Move) on.
The narcissists in my life liked to give me “gifts” THEY liked or wanted. With full expectation of me being thrilled with it. The hideous orange statue. Gah…
🫶💯You commented perfectly❤️🤍🤍sᴇɴᴅ🤍🤍ᴍᴇ🤍🤍ᴀ🤍🤍ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛ🤍🤍ᴛᴇxᴛ±𝟷𝟿𝟶𝟺𝟺𝟺𝟿𝟷𝟺𝟼𝟾🤍 0:04 0:01
It took like 50 years for me to accept there wouldn’t be any change, because the individual HAD to Know, after decades of “please don’t say/do…” “that hurts me” their behavior was injurious.
I said aloud : 1. Their behavior IS abusive
2. They know it
3. They enjoy it (the Smirk, or outright laughter “only joking)
4. It will never stop
It helped me start being more pragmatic
I 100% did this in counseling. They pulled me aside and told me they were all but certain my wife had NPD. I asked if I should sit down and tell her. They advised me to quietly back out of the relationship. I should have listened…
The moment I sat her down and confronted her about it the switch was flipped. Money was taken from the account, she stopped coming home, she accused me of abuse in her affidavit, and I had two hidden cameras put into the house and her smear campaign started. Luckily I document her online messages, counselor interactions and everything else so if anyone confronts me on it I can at least correct them.
🫶💯You commented perfectly❤️🤍🤍sᴇɴᴅ🤍🤍ᴍᴇ🤍🤍ᴀ🤍🤍ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛ🤍🤍ᴛᴇxᴛ±𝟷𝟿𝟶𝟺𝟺𝟺𝟿𝟷𝟺𝟼𝟾🤍 0:04 0:01
26:02 intentions are the responsibility of the one who holds them, and no one else.
Don’t get sucked in by charm. Charm is a liar. Observe with detachment and discernment. But… when it’s a narcissist you have a bond with, this is tricky, because we care. I hit a point where the emotional abuse and all of the “tells” couldn’t be ignored anymore, it was then easy to see the forest. This took me a long long time. Today, in hindsight, I see so much disrespect, manipulation, cruelty, and blatant viciousness, I am stunned at what I put up with for so long (decades). I’m in a place right now where I am forgiving myself for what I allowed, and just free. I’m never going to tolerate that kind of behavior again. Cutting loose and not caring about what that person lies about and fabricates is so freeing. I let go of anyone who is a part of that mess. Never again.
Unless they are a vulnerable narcissist. My soon to be ex makes looking pitiful and raggedy into an artform. He was very stylish when we met, but stopped as soon as we started dating. Now pretends he can’t shop for himself and needs me or my sisters to do his shopping for him.
Soon to be ex ? So your current boyfriend?
🫶💯You commented perfectly❤️🤍🤍sᴇɴᴅ🤍🤍ᴍᴇ🤍🤍ᴀ🤍🤍ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛ🤍🤍ᴛᴇxᴛ±𝟷𝟿𝟶𝟺𝟺𝟺𝟿𝟷𝟺𝟼𝟾🤍 0:04 0:01
You let your boyfriend make your sisters do his shopping???
I actually did call out my narc mom one time, because I felt like God wanted me to deliver a hard truth message to her. In fact, God told me to write it down and mail 3 copies as He said she would reject the first two. God gave me the courage, as I would never have done it without the leading, and I never regret doing it. Yes, she hissed like a snake 🐍 in shock when they kept coming each day, but I grew so much through that act of obedience to God and the resulting individuation of myself, that definitely changed my life course for the better. Let God lead ❤
Fade away like a shadow… then change your postcode.
Old school wisdom? Here’s my fist
Here are a couple of pieces of Ancestral wisdom that I’ve found useful 1. ‘Out of the fullness of the heart the mouth speaks’; Matthew 12:34 and Luke 6:45. It means that what you say shows what you truly think and feel inside. *Listen* to what people say -even (and perhaps especially) when they are ‘joking’ -you may find that it reveals more than they would otherwise impart. 2. Matthew 18:21-22, Peter asks Jesus if he should forgive someone up to seven times. Jesus famously responds, “I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.” It sounds insane on the face of it, but it is wisdom ~if it is used correctly. What I take it to mean is: ‘do not make battle with the enemy that you cannot defeat ‘; -disengage and tactfully retreat -and don’t ‘keep a record of their wrongs’ to use against them -lest you become like them ‘Why?’ because your focus should be on *your journey, your goals and your success* . (Yes, there are times that you need to keep records!…) ~but as Nietzsche said, “if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you,” I take that to mean ‘those people are bottomless…’ *save yourself* ☮
For me, I’m interpreting this as, don’t let my narc drag me down for the details of specific offenses but rather focus on the overall patterns