This Is What Separates a Narcissist From a Psychopath
People throw around words like narcissist, psychopath, and sociopath all the time—but they are not interchangeable. And when you are actually in a relationship with someone showing these patterns, the differences can matter a lot.
In this video, I break down some of the key ways narcissism and psychopathy can look and feel different, why one can be so easy to mistake for the other, and what those differences may tell you about the relationship you are dealing with.
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
Couldn’t pass this one up out of sheer curiosity!
Morning Dr Ramani!
I have a mother who I believe is a sociopath,-the childhood abuse she put me through and into my adult years is reprehensible,-the spell was finally broken when I came across mother who are narcissists. I honestly believe she hasn’t wanted me to be a failure my whole life, even wanted me dead. And I suspect that she played a part in my grandmas death very covertly. My
Mother was severely abused as a child,-her father was a pedophile. She is him minus the sexual abuse and some other kind of effed up even though she is successful outwardly, the rage, threats of violence and mind games..when my grandma died I finally walked away. I called police, social workers, family, nobody would do anything. I’m exhausted from life doctor.
We all learn and imitate others in our lives.
This is how we fit into society.
This is about the purpose of what we live?
When we love – we absorb everything from the other – and we want to be a part of their life.
When they do not love us – they absorb everything in us – and they want us to obey their illegal actions and bear witness to their dirty deeds around us.
When you love – you do not get dirty.
I took the time to learn. Psychopathy revolves around 100% goal orientation, but shares a lot of the same indicators of malignant or covert narcissists. Even a Borderline displays psychopath tendencies. They are all mixed up.
I have BPD with high “antisocial” traits. BPD explains my symptoms more, but I technically satisfy almost all the diagnostic criteria for ASPD.
This is why I’m not “scared” of narcissists. To me, they’re baby psychopaths throwing a tantrum. They’re weak, because they care.
@ladybaabaaBorderline Personality Disorder usually comes with narcissist and psychopath comorbidities, so yeah, you would be right. All of which are considered Cluster B antisocial disorders.
The problem comes with people not knowing how narcissism and whatnot are DIAGNOSED, or understand the levels of acuteness. Someone can be sub clinical, or clinically diagnosable. Someone with about two or three narcissistic traits would be considered sub clinical, depending on what they are. 5 or 6 personality traits would be clinically diagnosable. Clinically diagnosable narcissism IS CURRENTLY UNCURABLE.
But good news for your BPD diagnosis. BPD cures itself as you get older, with about 50% being cured as you learn and grow, gain self worth, an identity, learn to support others around you, and see how this incurs others supporting you, which helps deal with insecurity and abandonment issues. You also learn to enjoy peace, and some people you want to go away (most men, who all have some issue with narcissism and psychopathy from 6000 years of patriarchal b.s.), and you learn to enjoy self reliance, which is security.
Of the other 50%, therapy assists with half of them being successfully cured with time. That last 25%? About 10% of them unfortunately don’t make it and++ themselves, with around the last 15% are yet to be diagnosed are are in the process of being treated. So, hang in there, focus on self reliance, personal growth, and prioritizing self growth and socialist endeavors like assisting others. Read books like it’s going out of style, educate yourself, and learn anything you can. After time, those pathologies will start to go away.
Keep in mind that traditionally, men were narcissists and women were primarily borderlines, because this culture along with Christianity was designed hundreds of years ago to brainwash men and women into these mentalities. The first god worshipped by humans was a goddess, not a male god, and she was the first one to die, be sent to hell in a state of nakedness and suffering, kicked everybody’s a$$ in hell, and came back from death AFTER THREE DAYS, after she laid waste to hell and took their power. THERE IS A REASON WHY MALE DOMINATED SOCIETY TRIES TO KEEP WOMEN FROM EDUCATION. FYI.
Doctor Ramani, I’m a psychologist from Poland. I recommend your videos to my patients, and I’m truly grateful that you help so many people with your wisdom, sense of humor, and empathy for survivors. Thanks to you I understood that I’ve been a victim myself and I started my professional way to understand NPD a years back, because nobody ever told me during my course of studying nor clinical specialisation how deeply dangerous it is. Many thanks :))
I think that many psychologists dont get educated well enough on narcissism in their studies! Not only on narcissism, but on all of the characters high in dark tetrad traits! And that is such a shame.
The reason I say this is that many of the psychologists I have had as a victim of narcissistic abuse just dont seem to understand these characters! Its so frustrating, by bow I have studied for more than ten years with dr. Ramani and many other great psychologists on YouTube who know a lot about this. Sometimes I feek like I understand narcissism better than the psychologists whom I met who is not specialized in this at all. Its hard to find one who is.
@Laura-uq3xkOh…
Oh my…
I have some bad news for you… Let’s see how to make this a bit easier.
In your extensive studies, have you encountered the concept of “projection”?
Yes we have it’s what narcissists do a lot, as you’d know if you had been at the receiving end yourself as well as supported clients. This is a healing place, sarcasm has no place here.
This was intended for the pizza sushi silly reply, not the initial comment.
Yes ditto here, Psychotherapist in Ontario, been there while doing my Masters, THEN learned about it via a therapist who had been in a similar relationship. I also recommend Dr R videos to clients. Thank you ❤
They feel good and justified doing bad things to other people – in the absence of other people or to hide their nature from other people – they do and say bad things to their close family members [ they probably dont consider anyone close].
I am a licensed therapist and can confirm my graduate school education included very little instruction/training about personality disorders or about how to effectively treat these disorders and those impacted by them. And trauma bonding was never even mentioned! If you are looking for a therapist, make sure they have the knowledge and skills to actually help you.
This is EXACTLY why Family Court Judges should STOP relying on “mental health professionals” because COMMON SENSE tells us all EVERYTHING we really really need to know – so long as judges actually do the homework of READING AND RESEARCHING THE FACTS, which is what they’re supposed to do as judges anyway.
@ericgavidia291I’m thinking many of the judges are narcissistic themselves! But I’ve also watched psychopaths eat narcissist..🤷♀️
@SherryTomlinson-r2yOh my God! You’re so right! I’ve literally had one judge say, and I quote, “I have the authority of the state of California, no, the entire United States behind me, and I can throw your dad in jail if you don’t go back to your [malignant narcissist] mother’s right now”.
@ericgavidia291 talk about the fear of god put in you. I watched my psychopathic father take over his lawyer against a narcissist in court. Dad won .. he called all the shots.. and he stayed always ahead in the game. Unsettling
You described my sisters!
Does the line cross from a narcissistic person to a psychopathic person when threats of assault come into the picture?
The reason I quit “therapy” was because I understood more about how narcissists work, and how my ex’s abuses had affected me emotionally as well as physically despite the fact he had never hit me, than any psychologist I’d seen. Including those who claimed to have experience, yet they didn’t understand the basic, daily, core behaviors of narcissists. Plus I had already deployed my own versions of yellow and gray rock before those responses had been made into therapeutic responses to narcissism. Because that was how I needed to separate myself from a spouse I was not physically able to leave until years later. I had lived in that environment for years before narcissism ever became a socially known issue with YT channels to teach people the subject.
Well, if you found more about yourself… I’d say therapy worked!
@pizza.de.sushi123You didn’t read my comment. I said nothing about therapy having helped me.
@krystalMtnI said it “worked”.
I never said helped.
You don’t need to be a psychopath to be a sadist. My older brother isn’t a psychopath but 100% narcissist, and I’ve seen sadism in him several times.👍👍👍
Yes, I agree. Such a coward People…
Possibly a malignant narcissist
OH PLEASE BORE US WITH DETAILS!?😊 Seriously! I really like learning what I am up against!
I won the lottery apparently my father absolutely a psychopath. The key word is fear. I got that! I can see now the malignant narcissist. I’m not even a therapist just raised in this mess. New psychopath on the block , exactly I’m sensing he’s dangerous. He ran me off because he’s in a big money con game right now and he saw I saw through his mask. I can also see the run of the mill narcissistic folk. I understand there are different levels too. Thank you so much Dr Ramani.. btw I’m not in this crazy mess by choice ❤ but don’t think any of us are ..😢
Same ❤ aspd father, borderline/npd mother and brother.
Thank you for this. My ex husband was diagnosed with ASPD (so, a psychopath in layman’s terms), and people seem to think he’s “just a narcissist” or “just a jerk”. It’s SO much more than that.
What fascinates me is that narcissism almost seems like an emotional system short circuiting: shame and insecurity are still online.. so grandiosity, anxiety and control have to constantly compensate for their lack of empathy and insecurity.
Up toward psychopathy there seems to be less to compensate for less guilt, shame and emotional reactivity in the first place… with the right balance it makes sense they can function in higher positions.
Narcissism is the rollercoaster. Psychopathy is what happens when much of the ride simply stops registering.
The point is that they’re bad people, whether you call them narcissists or psychopaths.
Here’s the truth :
Dr Ramani, Many people use these terms interchangeably and thank you for clarifying the differences. Because on YouTube we lack but need more content about psychopathy.
I grew up with a psychopath father, and it’s like living in a horror movie. The traumas are MUCH more severe.
I’ve also experienced later relationships with narcissists but this is not the same… Thanks again Dr Ramani 🙏
I wonder if being in a relationship with a narcissist could actually be more damaging for the brain than being with a psychopath. The reason is that a psychopath doesn’t experience those feelings of internal shame, envy, or the need for validation; they don’t get angry at you over everyday things, nor do they gaslight or manipulate you—unless, of course, you stand in the way of their goals, in which case their discard or the harm they inflict is far more brutal. Otherwise, when you are with a narcissist you cannot avoid that emotionally and psychologically destructive rollercoaster ride that comes with a narcissist—someone who constantly blows hot and cold, creating that familiar cognitive dissonance. Any thought on that please? Thanks for your videos!.
Doctor Ramani educated me, once someone shows me narcissistic tendencies or psychopathic tendencies I walk away forever.