What do narcissists get out of sex?

Sex can take on a very different meaning in a narcissistic relationship and the consequences may stay with you long after the relationship ends.

Award-winning interior designer and television personality @LaurenMakk joins Dr. Ramani for a deeply personal conversation about what was really happening behind closed doors.

🎧Watch the full conversation now. Link in bio.

Andrew McLaurin
 

  • @NarcSurvivor says:

    It has nothing to do with love or connection. It’s validation and it maintains their control over you. It may keep you trauma bonded to them.

  • @Suzanne-i8i says:

    Narcissist are dangerous people 😢

  • @shellyyates8421 says:

    I was conditioned to feel grateful for every physical expression of affection, even to the point where I felt like I had to say thank you. I had totally not realize this until a guy laughed at me after I said thank you when he kissed me.

  • @arogers1210 says:

    Yep. As a person who has lived this, it is so true. And the crazy thing is when you call them on it, they gaslight you into not calling that what it is. Literally this was my marriage

  • @KS-lu8nm says:

    Dr Ramani! 😂😂😂😂. I couldn’t help but laugh but sooooo true.

  • @ccsas5398 says:

    Not just narcs regulating, all guys do it common

  • @SherryTomlinson-r2y says:

    Nothing but a performance and they get – off. You don’t have to be a narcissist to be this way either. But I would believe persons with empathy would quit using others this way. And many actually do. But the narcissist isn’t ever going to quit. Because of their entitlement and lack of conscience and empathy.

  • @456inthemix says:

    Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder (CSBD)

  • @valerierobertson6334 says:

    Exactly!! I was very innocent and he always said ‘ did you get something’ and I thought he meant did I get his … so I always said yes but had no idea what he meant I had his …😂😂 turns out I never ever got the something he meant😂😂😂😂😂

  • @orielwiggins2225 says:

    Absolutely we are not talking about this enough my entire 8 years of marriage and most of my relationships after that going from being a virgin to being sexually traumatized is exactly this. coercion. Thank you!

  • @Mariposa405 says:

    Dr Ramani just called it! Coerced sex = rape

  • @Littlerunner345 says:

    Lauren (Hope spelling is correct) I can relate to the exhaustion. He got frustrated when our baby daughter cried and I wanted to leave the “action” and go feed her, I’d hear “well I have needs too!”
    Talk about a disgusting …. How low can you go moment 😢

  • @bluebird6499 says:

    That describes my 30 year marriage perfectly. Describes those addicted to porn perfectly, describes people who just “screw around.” But to my surprise inadvertently two friends revealed their husbands were loving.
    One friend husband was going out of state on a long trip to where I left some books and he agreed to pick them up. I called and asked her about the books . She just forwarded the email. The beginning was. “I miss you so much. I just miss being with you. I can’t wait to get my arms around you again.” Then he went into the status of the books.

  • @AnnetteMcDonald-i7o says:

    I feel heartbreakingly sad about this. At my age! Never having the experience of adult love because I married a covert malignant narcissist. Wham, bamb etc not emotionally involved at all.

  • @KCL81_aw says:

    Omg!!! The sex regulation is so on point! They need to relax, they need to sleep, blah blah… It’s exhausting! Thank you!

  • @lindacoop68 says:

    Thank you ❤❤

  • @JeimiJamie says:

    Soooo for real. My ex used to punish me if I tried to set boundaries on my body or whether I wanted sex when he did. He actually would just rape me in my sleep if I decided to stand my ground and not give in. But sometimes the effort and struggle of standing my ground was just too much to keep up because he would not let it go until he got what he wanted, so at that point I would just give in so that I could be in my own head again. They wear you down and gaslight you until you start wondering whether standing your ground was just you being selfish, and whether it was worth all of the arguing. I’m so glad that I have been mostly single for the last 11 years. I spent 17 years in that relationship and I don’t have the capacity to potentially go through anything again. I think it’s because now I finally have control over my life and my body, and I’m not willing to let any of that go now that I finally have it.

  • @MG007. says:

    As I have always said, on planet Earth, there are 2 dominant species that are identical in appearance:
    Humans and Narcissists.
    Only when you are interacting with them will you know which one you are dealing it.

  • @LoneStarLady- says:

    The regulation explains so much! Many times after he would say “I needed that” which would make me feel awful—like I had been used. I see I was. It wasn’t love at all—just him needing to feel better, not feeling or expressing love ❤️. Another thing to grieve in the long list of losses😢.

  • @shelleyclark3153 says:

    I also noticed a common pattern of a manufactured argument within five minutes of intimacy. One time I came back into the bedroom to find him crying on the floor.

  • >