You’re Not Just Healing From the Narcissist…
Sometimes the hardest part of a narcissistic relationship is not just the narcissistic person—it is everyone and everything around them that helps keep the dynamic in place. In this workshop from The Healing Program vault, Dr. Ramani explores the often-overlooked role of enablers and why their impact can be so confusing, destabilizing, and difficult to untangle. If you have ever wondered why other people seemed to excuse what was happening, minimize your experience, or somehow make you question yourself even more, this workshop takes a closer look at that hidden part of the dynamic.
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
Thanks
In other words, you are born again!
The day you free yourself from any binds is the dsy you can be te born!
I’m trying to work through my pain. Thank you for helping me finally understand after 35 years. I’m exhausted
My heart goes out to you. Yes 39 years.now dealing with poor health and the rest of the BS.
@JaniceBrown-f3p8w26 here 🙁
❤
@JaniceBrown-f3p8w❤
Enablers (including societal enablers like court systems) are often the reason we can’t escape our perpetrators. My perpetrators was powerless alone. His family and society and his cheating partners gave him power.
You are so right!
Ah, the court system. I literally just had court with him 4 days ago- his 3rd (!!) appeal on a small claims case he filed 7 months ago. This is his way of getting around the order for protection I have against him, so he’s dragging it on as long as he can I guess. I spent hours and hours writing motions and documents, researching court rules and evidence to prove he lied in affidavits and other things he did in bad faith like sign me up for electronic service without my knowledge or consent (yet still did not serve me with anything), somehow found out and doxxed my Safe At Home address in the paperwork, forcing me to move because he knew my address, a few other things too…. The judge refused to hear any of my arguments requesting sanctions for perjury and bad faith conduct. She was only there to decide on the requested appeal- which she of course denied because it was ridiculous and untimely, and incomplete. I was just like great. He was just allowed to commit obvious and provable perjury in court documents and nothing happened to him. I’ve seen him do it before, but this was very blatant lies. And, now I dread whatever he has up his sleeve next. (I broke up with him well over 2 years ago… he won’t quit)
It won’t last with their new supply especially if they are narcissistic as well.
@williambrennan7931. Money made off us 20 year or more first spouses club goes a long ways.
@williambrennan7931 if they are in the US, I truly think narcissism is seen as a normal trait, or adjacent to narcissism atleast. Traits learned from entertainment
Im process of divorce . My husband said after having an issue with our child . “I’m going to have my mom live with us “. I literally said no , I don’t want anyone in my house . He questioned it and he said she will come . He did not take my boundary . I said Then , I’m calling the police . He stoped the conversation . His whole fam are enablers . ✌️
Enablers are a Sub-Division along the Narcissistic Spectrum.
Enablers are cowards! 😤 Plain and simple!
I stopped enabling when I learned that I was an enabler. That was 11 years ago when I learned what a psychopath was. From good, helpful Christian girl to I could kill you quickly without regret.
One of the worst scenarios is pastors and church families who enable narcisist and punish victim for not putting the institution of marriage ahead of their health and wellbeing. When the pastor who should protect you and hold narcisist accountable instead shame and diminish and dismiss you, refusing to support and protect you, looking at you being the problem for exposing the problem that they don’t want to address and then weaponizing scriptures against you to make you comply and continue to be abused.
Statements like “he is not hitting you”, “God hates divorce “, ” forgive, pray for him more and Love him more”. Putting all responsability on you to fix what you didn’t cause and if not improved, your the problem Is implied.
100% agree!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ironically, not the church, but the words of Christ clearly state we are not bound to family any longer if they are that terrible. But the narcs who did not even read the book, sure love to abuse the words incorrectly for their own gains
A few times an old friend tried to invite me and told me the narcissist came to. I told him it couldn’t be. ‘Can’t you meet him half way? How long has it been? ‘.
The last time I told him: if you see both of us as good people, see us as bleach and ammonia. Both clean very well. But never use them at the same time. It might kill you.
It’s the family members who protect the narc.
When I first met my partner back in the early 80’s, he took me up to his family home for the first time. Everything was cool, until his sister pulled in the driveway and I immediately noticed everyone’s spine stiffen and the whole atmosphere changed. She made her entrance and immediately started screaming at her mother how she wanted an urn that was sitting one the coffee table, a gift my partner had just given his mom. When the mother said no, she asked her to put it in the will that it was hers She then hurled an insult at her father and finally, my partner introduced me. I was so shocked, but told myself everyone’s family is different, while reserving my own personal judgement. I was shocked at how everyone acted like it was normal! It took 14 years before I went no contact with her, which caused a whole different set of problems in my relationship. I’m still with my partner, she died a few years ago as a proud Trumper.
my experience has been that the enablers have been more dangerous than the narcissist.. it is also my experience that the enablers know exactly what they are doing..
24:33 you are so damn hilarious lmao. Genuinely, you are a beautiful person. I am glad that the narcissists in your life did NOT manage to break you. Just know that you are loved, even by strangers like me
❤❤❤❤❤
When a person has just gone through a mass amount of healing and got themselves to a place where they have started feeling good again and then others come in, and subject you to the biggest smear campaign going, stalking, harassment, intimidatiin, humiliation, belittling and as you say knock.you back down the mountain and you then get drunk as a coping mechanism not from being totalky dependant but because are almost suicidal and then they leave bottles of wine on yoyr doorstep thats the most insidious and cruel.act someone can pull, i would say it goes a lot further than enabling, makes me sick as to how far people can go to try and destroy someone.
2nd chances are EARNED!! My mother at a minimum was a great enabler. My brothers didn’t treat me right as early as I can remember. One time I recall my mother saying to me, “that I needed to earn their respect “!!! 58 years old, I went ZERO contact with them (finally)
I went limited contact, years of negotiating relationship with them. After leaving 2 marriage to a N and learning more about what has actually been happening my entire life. I can “see” the truth! So much self forgiveness and…anger where it was rightfully earned.
“No, we can’t!” Amen!!
Sometimes I’ve felt bad after I’ve held people accountable.
For the narcissist in my life, there are enablers and so-called “flying monkeys” within the psychiatric system—doctors and nurses who constantly cheer the narcissist on and pity them.
It is the same story online; the need for validation is satisfied through various accounts.
Wenn ich eins begriffen habe nach dieser narzisstischen Beziehung, aus der ich mich befreit habe, ist, du kannst nur mit Überlebenden kommunizieren. Jeder andere ist wie du sagst hatte so eine Begegnung nicht so eine Bösartige oder er steckt in einer extremen narzisstischen, toxischen Beziehung und kommt nicht raus. Du stehst wirklich alleine da ich steh alleine da
Deswegen komme ich aus diesem Podcast auch nicht raus, weil ich mich nur hier verstanden fühle, dass ist wie aus der Matrix aufwachen
Ich bin so dankbar dir und deinen Anhängern, die das so detailgenau mir aus der Seele sprechen, bestimmt vielen anderen auch, die sich endlich verstanden fühlen,
Herzlichen Dank dafür❤
This is exactly what I needed today. I’ve been thinking about divorce because my husband is an enabler in a narcisistic family system. I believe this knowledge will help save my marriage.