How Many Times Will a Narcissist Hurt You?
How many times can the same painful patterns happen before something has to change? In this video, Dr. Ramani explores why there is no simple answer—and why survivors of narcissistic abuse can end up carrying far more blame and shame than belongs to them.
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
No number but on and on and on even after the relationship
When Dr Ramani drops the F bomb 😎 yeah girl, tell them lol.
She’s not wrong! You go Dr R!
Is “a whole f-ing lot” a number 😅
I lost count until I’ve reached the survivor stage where I no longer care what they say or think. You are always the villain in their minds. I see now their lack of intelligence when they want to come off to the world as the smartest, richest person in the world. It’s really sad what they are truly missing in life and relationships.
Same…
They have an inability to self reflect. They are blinded by their own selfishness. It’s so baffling.
I love your authenticity and advice!
The challenge with finding a “non-label” name (like narcissist and toxic) for those people is that the type of words that would accurately represent them would make the speaker/victim look bad. Imagine refering to someone as “that spirit killer/life robber/daily liar/evil mimick/torturer”. People would be trigered by the intensity and be quick to run from it. Not to mention, such words would be dismissed as exaggeration and even pathological.
🐈⬛ we’re allowed to call black cats “voids”, we can call narcissists that too
I dont think I have a number. I have a severity. And this exact weekend things happened that I think is going to break my connection to my family.
Until I came across Dr. Ramani the answer was infinite but no more. Indifference to these people is becoming the new norm for me. I prayed my entire life for the truth and I finally found it. “It is not you”
10 years. But the true number during this chaos is infinity until I left
Same: 10 years. I feel SO 🤬 STOOPID coming out on the other side of those years- still feeling the shame. But yeah, I’m with you- 10 YEARS.
Same here – 10 years. Or actually, much, much longer. But since it’s family, I’ve turned a blind eye and let it all slide.
But the last 10 years… Now I’ve had enough. Period. Enough is enough!
As for how many times I’ve been treated like a doormat—how many times I’ve been mocked, screamed at, mistreated, and exploited—it’s been thousands of times!
Some people expect us to endure behavior that they would not endure for a minute. “Go save your family”. “Have you forgiven him?”
I am giving you a standing ovation at this very moment. Every time I think you cannot top yourself, you prove me wrong. Thank you again.
Totally
It takes as many times as it takes, for us to ask this question.
25 years.
The truths of the betrayal (that came out after I left), were far worse than I already knew or could ever imagine.
RANT AWAY DOCTOR. You find the words to describe what so many of us live … BUT we are too tired, hurt and worn out to rant for our own relief. So, RANT AWAY DOCTOR.
3 years, was hell
What would we do without you, Dr.Ramani?!
The guilt and pressure to ‘deal’, ‘fix’, and ‘take responsibility for my part’, kept me trapped in an increasingly dangerous marriage. Even my own parents told me I needed to ‘be a better wife’.
I was finally forced to flee with kids after we were almost killed and in serious danger.
No amount of being ‘perfect’ or ‘trying harder’, will ever fix a relationship with a narcissist, and abuse always escalates.
I’m old. Both of my parents are deceased. But I have 3 abusive siblings. I was betrayed by my family all of my life. So my number is in the high thousands, if not a million. Finally, after much reflection (and therapy) I’ve gone no contact w/my siblings. Two different doctors told me I “seem happy” now. It’s *peace*. Peace, not being the family scapegoat. I only wish I’d done it many years ago.
Yeah I wonder how my 3 beautiful older brothers coped. I came along much later so don’t have a clue. I think we learn to parent & sibling ourselves
The people who think you are petty and dismissive either never have to put up with it or are narcs themselves. End of.😊
100% the ones you can talk to about this are so few and far between it’s very sad… And it is a lonely road.