These 4 emotions keep you TRAUMA BONDED and stuck
NORTH CAROLINA RETREAT
November 1-3, 2024
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
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Guilt, obligation, shame and compassion
Thanks, I was looking for this 😊
The compassion arises from the guilt and pity that is felt. If I don’t have compassion, then I feel guilt and shame.
See how it’s all connected.
Oh my goodness. It’s a tough process, yet a powerful process that needs consistency. Acceptance, accountability, and boundaries are priorities.
Focusing on the step, not the staircase will help to be mindful of.
I love your educational videos. I’ve cried to them and learned from them. Thank you so much for trying to help us understand what we’re going through.
Anxiety, fear, loneliness, guilt, shame… that’s 5 hehe
We self sacrifice for them because of our innate kindness and moral obligation.
Guilt, shame, self doubt, obligation
self doubt is my middle name. I have often said if I say the sky is blue and someone else says, no, it is green, they will never get me to agree with them but I will spend a hell of a lot of time thinking about it.
Pity, guilt, responsibility empathy for me
😢Guilt + Grief + Pity + Shame = STUCK
🩷 Thank you Dr. Ramani & Team! 💞💞💞
Wow!! This is the perfect explanation! Thank you!
In my early career, I got stuck in a toxic job. Those emotions prevented me from leaving the job. After a year, I restarted making an exit plan because things worsened and I realized the boss’s promises were fake. Finally, I escaped from the job regardless of whatever was happening to them and whatever I was feeling. 🏃♂💨💨
I spent 24 1/2 years working in a breeding ground for narcissists. I ran into one the other day and within minutes all the feelings came back and I wondered “How did I survive that place?”.
you say guilt, grief, pity and shame. I also would add obligation and fear. for years I mistook this mix for love!!!
Exactement !
yes, there is fear of retribution
@@martyalbershardt8314 there are all sorts of fear…
28 yrs together plus his 63, those are my biggest reasons.
@@1crzy8ball75 I was 24yrs in a narc relationship too… * bighug *
The key is stop being loyal to the wrong people.
Yes 🗝
That’s it!!!!
1000%
Exactly ❤
The key is learning what the traits to be aware of to identify those wrong people. And doing that without judgement. It’s a process.
Do I get partial points for: Fear, hope, regret and guilt?
Weaponized Compassion
Learned lack of trust too.
Half-azz belief in what people tell me.
What about loneliness/lack of connection, internal boredom, and while not an emotion- not having other options long term….
My reply isn’t showing.. I’ll add guilt -for something I didn’t even do. What the narc actually did. I’ve changed the brainwashed monkeys haven’t- lack of connection and loneliness. I’ll add anxious.. extreme grief-
Yes, I didn’t resonate with the feelings in the video, but I resonate with this comment 100%.
This video is exactly what I needed right now! Thank you so much, Dr. Ramani! ❤
When you put it that way, grief IS a biggy. I do mourn the loss of my self-confidence, and I mourn the loss of time, but blaming these on my childhood of turmoil makes me feel like a bad person. After all, I do have agency. I can usually separate cause/blame from the effect, i.e., there was an effect, but pointing fingers just makes me feel worse.
I was trying to be perfect for my abusers. I felt guilty and ashamed for being me. I was trained to take abuse and call it love.
I am so thankful for your “ick list” recommendation. I left my narc just about 5 months ago and I’ve had 5 months of guilt. My list of 139 (yes, 139 “icks”) has kept me from breaking no contact.
After more than 12 years of looking into psychology and narcissism. The only emotion I feel for those extremely cruel abusers is sympathy for them because they are their own worst enemy, and because I do know what they have gone through to make them the evil monsters that they are. I no longer accept them and I no longer making up excuses for them. I don’t feel shame, guilt, grief, nor compassion for them. I don’t feel any need to explain to anyone. I am at the point where, people can think however they want, and this is liberating. I am unbothered. Evil monsters get what they deserve. I accept my hardships, experiences, and my mistakes, all needed to happen for me to learn life’s lessons. I feel at peace with wisdom while I am still learning, preparing to face the lonesome unknown future events, and appreciating life one day at a time.