Parental Alienation: What to do when your ex is turning the kids against you
1. If you're trying to alienate your children from their other parent, just stop.
2. If you're on the receiving end of alienation, I'm so sorry.
It's the worst damage you can do to a child. I know. I watched my own children being alienated against me. But guess what? They grew up. And they figured out who the abusive parent was.
My best advice is to show your children the contrast between you and your spouse. Always take the high road. Be mature. Be consistent. Provide a safe, loving, nurturing environment for them. That will help understand who is telling them the truth and who is abusing them.
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Excellent ,whole-hearted truth.
Thank you 🙂
It’s literally living in Hell, watching the way my children treat me. It’s so incredibly painful…and yet year by year my relationship dwindles all because of where they are residing. I reached out to every So called Professional and NO one believed me.
Tina, I’m so sorry this is happening to you. It is so painful. I’d love to try to help you. Would you like to schedule a free session with me? You can book one on my calendar here: https://bit.ly/3lW3QJI
I do, mine isn’t treating me to bad but their not exactly nice though. My son is 16 he understands but 13yo daughter believes everything her mama says it’s broken me they haven’t stayed a night with me in 9 Months but mainly my fault there but there’s no telling what there mama has told them.. her own freinds laugh behind her back she’s definitely one of a kind… I believe times gonna show them the truth!. I hope it’s possible for u to feel this way too good luck god bless
You are not alone
I believe you trust me I truly do!!!
@Jack Christopher things are changing over the past 2 years for the better. My eldest is seeing the light
Much love my ex has taken my boys turned them haven’t seen them for 2 years. My heart is in pieces. ❤️🙏
I am so sorry. Please stay strong and never give up hope 🙂
Hello mate , my ex turned my two against me ,haven’t seen them in 15 months ,yeah it’s hell , big hug brother
@kaz kart me too, five sons, im beyond broken. Soul destroying
@@aurora-un2km So sorry you are struggling with this 🙁
@@aurora-un2km omg I’m so sorry bless you hope we get justice ❤️🙏
Love you Victoria- I needed this today! It’s important to remember that WE are not alone in our suffering!! I try to hold on to the promises of God- that our surrender and suffering for another’s sake, WILL be rewarded and WILL be be vindicated. In the meantime- your words are indeed right!! What you have taught me through our counceling has been life giving and I’m Determined to win this battle against the alienation by staying present in the pain and sufferance.
I believe it will be the very thing that proves the truth!!!! And one day we will also be able to encourage others – just like you do so beautifully and so knowledgeably.
STAY STRONG MY FELLOW WARRIORS – STAY THE COURSE AND BELIEVE THAY EVERY TEAR SHED FOR OUR CHILD OR CHILDREN
WILL SERVE TO SHATTER THE LIES AND REVEAL THE TRUTH! In Gods perfect time ☀️
Lisa, thank you for this beautiful message! Sending you big hugs 🙂
Thank you Lisa. I’ve shed a lot.
I thought with a divorce he would stop hurting me..wrong
Sadly, no. By divorcing him, you have inflicted the worst possible pain on him — the thing narcissists dread most: abandonment. He can never forgive you, and will always try to retaliate. That’s why you must go no contact as soon as you can.
I can assure you, the people that are doing this are not watching your video.
Not necessarily. People do it unintentionally as well.
They don’t know to, or how to, self-reflect to see that they’re doing it.
Glad I found this tonight. Divorced last December after 29 years. Just found out from my sister in law that her sister/my ex wife is poisoning my two adult kids against me. It hurts. But this video was reassuring. Thanks.
So glad it helped! If you’d like more help, you can book a free call with me 🙂
I needed to hear this so bad. Thank you
Sorry you’re dealing with this, but happy I could help 🙂
Why does it have to be assumed it’s the dad doing it? I’m getting alienated by my ex and I’m 6k ahead in child support. This is why the Justice system is messed up. There’s so many dads out here. Getting screwed by the system. Because it’s assumed it’s the “dads.”
My ex has his whole family doing his bidding, helping him lie, being there for the kids when he isn’t ,but claiming my illness that I am not a mother. Our son has medical needs – this includes that he needed an evaluation for being on the spectrum 3 years ago for disability to assist in payments. The father refused this treatment for him because of his own bias to psychological and mental health services. My son repeatedly states that he feels emotionally neglected by his dad. But his dad has custody because I got really I’ll- my mental health has a high psychosomatic effect ( I also have cerebral palsy) the dad has primary custody, but I still have signing and decision making rights.
Been going through this for years with my two daughters, and what makes matters so much worse is that mental health counselors and other professionals just flat don’t believe it’s happening or they truly don’t care. If it was truly the best interest of the child then you would think counselors would really dive in and try to help, but they simply counsel the frivolous complaints and completely ignore the fact that the children love and bond with one parent and completely push away the other parent. There is no logical balance as you SHOULD expect as a mental health provider. The other thing that is often overlooked is that if there was a previous bond and loving relationship with the targeted parent and all of a sudden it’s gone, counselors or the courts need to ask why. But they don’t! These are all major red flags.
It feels impossible to overcome and reading story after story where the kids never do come back around, it leaves the targeted parent feeling helpless. These are our children too. We have a right to love our children and vice versa. This is the worst form of child abuse in my opinion.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I agree with you — the system fails targeted parents. Keep fighting!
@@VictoriaMcCooey Thanks Victoria. That’s all we can do.
Omg
Went to see my son today on his birthday couldn’t because she started an argument had to leave just so toxic so I left.
I’m so sorry 🙁
Wow! I was all in in the beginning! As a man who left a toxic and abusive marriage after 14 and 3 kids, I can’t believe this is what I find. My kids won’t talk to me, won’t see me… when everything else turns on you and you start looking for something, anything… this is what I find. Thanks
Honestly….. the Majority of Cases are Narrasist Women who manipulate kids against Fathers
And the child support system helps these women take advantage of Guys because the system profits off of it
Don’t be discouraged
Your not the only one who’s gone through it
I really appreciate your video and the advices you shared. Thank you so much.
However at around 01:30 mins in your video when you talk about narcissist in general, it is not always a “he” who is a narc or causes parential alienation. Both genders are equally struggling with narcs and there are narcs in both gender.
I myself am facing the issues you highlighted. My ex wife has been intentionally making things hard and manipulative and is resorting to alienate me from my kid.
Nonetheless what ever you had said or adviced in this video is extremely helpful and i am thankful for it
Thank you for your comment! I agree with your statement that both men and women can be the narcissistic spouse in these situations. In my coaching, I work mostly with women, so that’s who I am speaking to. I have coached several men as well, so I know that many men struggle with this same issues. I hope you’ll keep watching!
@@VictoriaMcCooey i most definitely will ! Thank you for doing this
Thanks for speaking up!
Thank you.
My ex wife is doing this my daughter is starting to hate her but I tell her just respect your mom you will grow up and she gonna give her he’ll for it
That’s some great insight and I was almost going to send this video to my daughters mom because it describes her perfectly, but I don’t think she’ll understand the roles of gender being switched because it’s kind of the opposite but the same. I’m doing everything I can to arm my daughter with the proper tools to be able to navigate through life And I tell her not to let anyone make her feel bad because she is her own person. She deserves a good life and but her mom has moved her three hours away and when I come up on the weekends, she makes it her mission to talk bad about me to my daughter in front of everyone and then she starts screaming and telling everyone to tell me that she’s right and they do but it’s completely untrue. My whole existence is to make people learn about the joy of life but she’s told my daughter that I am a toxic positive person, and I have no concept of reality, and if I was to be taking care of her, then she would die most certainly. I don’t have anyone to turn to for help because I’ve lived in alienation for a decade now and I don’t like to talk about other people badly because that’s what happens to me, so what ends up happening is everyone has all these stories of me, being a bad person, bitter and true, and the Mother, paints herself as a victim and accuses me of everything she does to me. I know there’s a way out of this, but dang I was not ready for this kind of pain. If anyone happens to be praying for random people, then I would greatly appreciate someone’s kind words
Jesse, thanks for sharing your story. I’m sorry for your pain. You can’t control other peoples’ behavior, but you can control the way you react to it. And it sounds as if you are doing just that, so good job! Hopefully, your daughter will see your joy and love of life and the contrast of her mother’s bad behavior and negativity. Let’s hope she chooses to align with you. Sending prayers 🙂
Im going through this now. My daughters dad turned her against me. My seven year old wants nothing to do with me. But as you said kids grow up. That gives me light at the other end of the tunnel
Sorry you’re dealing with this but happy this helped!
My son eventually committed suicide and I know this is why. It haunts me to no end and always will and there is absolutely nothing I or anyone can do about it.