The ultimate guide to overcoming narcissistic abuse
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
Forgetting about the abuse is not the key to healing, it’s about not letting it define me anymore. It’s about having the ability to find joy despite the pain, and to keep pushing forward.
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its so hard, people who didnt grow up like this will never know what it feels like to not have a safe place, or someone whos always in your corner,, these videos have helped me so much, as im sure they have for you.. Merry Christmas
Exactly! Us survivors are stronger than we ever thought. We just needed to believe it ourselves to push forward.
I look back and realize how far I have come and survived and that I can keep going. Just learning to trust myself not to fall in their deep pit.
Beautiful and very true. Keep going nobody is worth you silencing yourself or being small. ❤
Me too! Alone is better.❤
I went no contact with her (the person who birthed me) March 2 2024. Sometimes my emotions are overwhelming yet it gets better every day and most days l feel more peace than all the negative emotions. Soon it’ll be one year.
same, its not your fault, and youre missing something you never had… when I realized she didnt care, I stopped feeling bad about not caring about the relationship either.
@AbelLeba-tb7lg I’m realizing now the relationship I had with her I made up in my head. I chose to block all the things she did and said to me growing up and only now that I’m healing I’m starting to remember, I now know it wasn’t normal.
I hope you heal too and I hope you surround yourself with people and pets that love you 🙏🏽❤️
I understand how you feel when you refer to your mother as the one who birth you. I would refer to my husband as to the person I was legally married to, because he was NOT a husband
@marjoriemurray4381 yes I don’t even want call her that. I totally get you too. I’m sorry you went through that
Thankyou. This was excellent 👍
Despite everything! Thank you Sister Dr Ramani ❤️🇬🇧
Treating yourself better, is a good start.
I went no contact with my narc mother recently after a lifetime of abuse. The peace I’ve felt from not having to deal with her invalidation and gaslighting is immeasurable, and I am arguably doing so much better. But it’s still so much more painful than I thought it would be. I would have liked it to be different but I had to choose myself.
Proud of you 👏 . Taking care of yourself is the key.
I feel you! Odds are you aren’t “arguably” better but actually better! This is how I feel at least. Actually better without the chaos! Great job, keep going!
It gets easier & eventually you’ll forget her birthday, feel no need to attend her funeral or think of her as anything other than your biological mother
Going no contact sure wasn’t easy. I made the decision at 22, I’ll turn 36 this Friday 😊
I definitely felt the emptiness of not belonging to a family and I sadly turned to maladaptive coping mechanisms to get through it, but that obviously didn’t help.
Going no contact meant going no contact with my three older siblings too, and that’s the part that hurts me most, even today.
However, when I look at my siblings it’s obvious that still being in contact with our parents is eating them alive.
Sometimes the hardest decision is the best decision, but that doesn’t make it any easier.
Still, it’s something I did for myself and I don’t regret it.
My One…is my childhood favorite aunt! I remember my “mother” accused her of something shady (which was not true) but then she was gone! I was a child, alone with her! Even if I did have siblings. I hadn’t seen my aunt for over 30 yrs. While being introduced to the concept of Narcissistic/Toxic abuse…I don’t fully remember how she reconnected (that’s hazy) But I do remember it was at The time when my whole world was imploding and yet again my “mother” was spewing venom! (What she did best!) Crying to her, my aunt had told me why she left. And how malicious, cruel, and controlling my “mother” showed up in her life…and she saw what that woman was doing to me!! I wasn’t crazy!! Dots are now somewhat connecting and I thank my aunt for believing me!!
Never stop telling yourself you are a good person and you deserve to be treated with kindness and respect.
What sucks even more about “getting along to just go along” is when state/court get involved. I have things that you have to participate in even when you KNOW its just a waste of time. Have to switch your mindset and instead see it as I am doing these things for my child, not for the narc. Its hard, not going to lie, but its not a lie. My child deserves a good, calm and safe childhood. So if I can do these things to make sure I provide that for my child, then it seems like it’s more than worth it.
I hear you! Just work on getting emotionally and psychologically detached – for real! You can do this
Brilliant! Thank you so much! you should get a Nobel Prize! 👍❤
Agreed
Sharing my story I’m talking with so many women that are in abusive relationships or have been.
I appreciate everything you do, Dr. Ramani. You really helped me through a very hard time in my life. You helped me understand my ex and why she is the way she is. That has greatly helped me move on after she discarded me for her boss, whom she cheated with.
I spent 15 years with her cheating over and over again, belittling me, financially ruining us, physically attacking me, etc. I was pretty crazy by the end. I’m just now becoming my old self after 2 years separated and 1.5 years divorced. That is in large part due to you and what you do. So, again, thank you and bless you!
Thank you Dr Ramani! ❤ Merry Christmas!
Brick walls do not move, and don’t be surprised to hear the same reaction as what you have heard before. What you know about someone, don’t let upset you time and time again, otherwise we become the manipulators. Manipulating so hope can remain. Radically accept that leaving is healthy.
And when the brick wall is as fragile as a narc you better be careful poking around or the wall will crash on top of you! Raining bricks out there, be careful!!
Thank you. The ‘indifference’ in itself felt as if I’d lost my heart and ability to love, a hardening.
The outside world not understanding. It was so difficult to experience indifference – it was as if something inside me died.
I never thought indifference would ever come. The fight inside me took a decade for family and 4 yrs for my ex.
The wrestle, confusion, pain and disbelief nearly broke me. It did break me. The old me.
Desperate for indifference. One day it just appears, silently and coldly like waking up to a snow fall over night.
I couldn’t force indifference. I couldn’t make it happen. I thought I’d be stuck in the overwhelming pain and rumination forever.
Indifference brings clarity, like being ejected from horror film that wouldn’t end.
Going NC w/ a narcissist society is really hard. Mistrust keeps us safer from scammers, narcissists, politicians, n others. N there r just so many of them, n they r held up as idols. N then e enablers n flying monkeys come out 2 defend monsters.
Grief n betrayal: that’s what we get 2 learn 2 deal with, among other things. Much love n support 4 all of u. Thank u 4 sharing.
Exactly it makes it very hard, but now you know exactly who the real ones are and are not. Real people aren’t flying monkeys, real people aren’t Narcs. Real people are caring and empathetic and want the best for you. Anything else in my opinion is fake bs, the key for me is sitting in my knowledge and power and stiff arming losers out my dam way. Good luck, you have no idea how strong you are to stand up in the current of world you described. Good job, keep going!!! You deserve happiness, contentment peace and passion. Enjoy it, you are one step closer to freedom every day.
Good afternoon Dr. Ramani for your caring and sharing from Jamaica 🇯🇲👑🙌🙏. Power Persevering in Prayers Psalms 1-150🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️
Jah bless i n i 😊
I absolutely needed this video. I’m in the process of stopping everything I do to make my NH’s life easier. No more dinners, no more doing his laundry,.. I refuse to be mistreated.
Keep going! Two and a half years and going. It is over!
Couldn’t have done it without intensive therapy though.
Thank God for my family and lifelong friends❤