The Truth About Nice Guys In Dating (Where It Comes From & How To Fix It)
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It’s me Acss Allacta Lican/ Present All in one Extra being Justice lover Billionaire.⭕🤍
I like how being nice is a dealbreaker for women. That says all you need to know.
Bad boys only. It’s a universal law.
Somehow, the definition of nice guy in this context becomes “doormat desperate for approval, hoping it will lead to sex.”
Yes, throw her back.
There’s a difference between being a nice “simpy” guy and being a gentleman that sets boundaries and properly vets a woman.
Yup, that´s right.
It’s just frustrating that dating has turned into rocket science and it really doesn’t have to be.
Keep drinking the Kool Aid that @CourtneyRyan keep serving you. Stay on your knees.
No, there isn’t
@@elgooges True, it’s a wonder people actually get together at all. There are so many pitfalls. I don’t think it was that complicated in the past.
This is such a gross misuse of the word nice.
Thankfully I’m not the nice guy anymore, just the awkward guy
This guy gets it
I feel that lol
But I bet that also gets you nowhere with women.
I’m the take it or leave it guy now. Don’t like my personality ? Oh well.
@@DavidZ4-gg3dm this is bs. Awkward guys have girlfriends too. Not saying someone shouldn’t try to improve their social awkwardness, but plenty of men and women are socially awkward.
This is the change in the definition of the term “nice”. Courtney and others use this to soften the perception of woman’s voices toward disagreeable men including men with sociopathic or psychopathic characteristics, rather than men that tend towards agreeableness. As Cortney describes it, Agreeableness in men is seen by women as weakness, creepy, and very unattractive perception.
Of course there is a balance between agreeable and disagreeable. Men should lean towards being disagreeable and confident.
here’s the issue – why would anyone wanna be disagreeable with their life partner? It makes no sense. Become something you’re not to get something toxic? The whole “nice is bad” trope is just lame. Let’s all be selfish assholes so people think we’re something we’re not in order to gain something bad for us…what a society we built.
@ nobody likes disagreeable people. Don’t listen to this clown
@@bulldogsnewleaf-m7g It’s messed up in multiple ways but what women desire is inherent to them, society didn’t invent it.
When men realize that women dislike kind men also, women will find a reason to explain why kind guys are actually toxic. In other words the goalposts will always be moved to conceal what really triggers raw attraction in women.
Or perhaps the goalposts keep moving because the women who do that cannot reconcile their deep contempt and disappointment in men with their enduring attraction to superficial elements of masculinity.
Those are disfunctional women who later call radio counselors who ask them why they always pick the mean (wrong) guy.
The problem with this advise is that it says the problem is in the man and not the woman. Most women have some level of narcissism and any behavior from a man is interpreted as interest. The difference between nice and kind for these women is simply your level of attractiveness. A hot guy in their world has no need to be nice since he can get any woman he wants. If he does nice things he must be labeled as kind.
I’m ok with someone not interested in me because I am “nice”. That’s not the person for me……. I’m not going to be someone I’m not, or play a role for someone. Bye bye 👋 🙂
Facts!
Then you aren’t a nice guy. A nice guy put on a fascade just to get a woman but someone who is just being himself and isnt hiding anything behind a mask jyst to get inside the pants of a woman than its fine
That’s exactly the kind of person she says you should be . All these dating know it alls skew the word nice. It’s a doormat they’re referring to
Yes
Or… you’re a nice guy because you were raised right and biblically speaking putting others ahead of yourself is in line. Perhaps doing this isn’t trying to earn anything but just a natural personality . It’s not desperate. It’s not a lack of confidence (so sick of hearing women describe every male personality trait as this). If women can’t accept and an appreciate a man for WHO HE IS… that’s her character flaw, not his. The “watch every move you make” bs just so a woman respects him is out of control today. I’m a nice guy but I won’t be used or taken advantage of. The traditional nice guy has confidence through the roof because as nice as he is he won’t take 💩 from a female. There’s a huge difference. I’m sick of women who judge every nitpicking detail. I won’t be shaped or molded to what a woman wants. You don’t like what I bring to the table? Leave me tf alone. Pure and simple. I’m happy to be single even if I don’t want to me. Most women today make it impossible. Yet, most of them have more characteristics less than stellar than men.
Facts!
So true. Everything is distorted
My issue with the whole “being nice is disingenuous” line of thinking is that technically you could say that everything that you do to be a better person or to try and get a mate is disingenuous by that same logic.
Oh you’re a good person? Disingenuous. Kind? Disingenuous. Looking good? Disingenuous. High socioeconomic status? Disingenuous. I could go on forever…
I don’t think that the logic makes sense.
There’s a difference between actually being nice and being “nice”. This is about the latter.
you’re not really putting yourself down or sacrificing anything when you do that as opposed to sacrificing money to help impress this girl who barely shows any interest in you or talking to her 24/7, losing time which is way more valuable than money, to a girl that barely responds. That’s the difference between the two. Looking good, being nice, is not hurting you. So make sure you treat yourself good before you treat others good.
it doesn’t make sense. People love the “nice vs kind” argument…but like you said, everyone is doing EVERYTHING in order to gain or achieve something…people are literally trying to be “less nice” for the same reason they were being nice – TO GET SOMETHING. it’s hilarious really.
@@talideon Why is it *always* only about the latter, in the context of dating?
Genuinely respectful, attentive, caring men exist. It doesn’t seem like they’re often successful with women.
From WEBSTER – The meaning of NICE is polite, kind.
Notice there is no misconception or reputation of women swooning over or falling for men who fit this description. There is a reputation about them falling for the opposite. This nice guy idea is a strawman to distract and create confusion distracting from the truth. Its not a woman thing though, its similar to men often exclaiming they desire non promiscuous virtuous women but mostly giving attention to and lusting after the opposite, we dont see men in the comments swooning after the virtuous woman they say they desire. Truth is mankind is not truly drawn toward good and its ok to admit it. Be nice, be righteous and know it will not make you attractive the majority of the opposite gender but it will make you attractive to the best of the opposite gender.
ps what she describes is the mistaking kindness for weakness or weakness for kindness regardless nice or politeness is not truly valued by the masses.
Just go for someone who loves the lord first and hotness second! You can have both!
@@GodGuy8 In general we only guarantee what we prioritize first everything else is a cherry on top. There is a reason even following God he does not guarantee you a hot spouse, but if you put him first you will have the lord that’s for certain. Life is not a fairy tale even for the godliest of men.
However the ones who go for the bad boys are usually the ones who get divorced and often become the bad boy’s punching bag. Likenesses attract.
@@GodGuy8where? None of the hot women at my church are interested or age appropriate (I’m early 50s, and most of them are 25 to 30)
That’s been the case with my serious relationships throughout my life. Unfortunately, our long term goals were never in alignment (like they wanted kids and I didn’t, as an example), or we just bickered too much over stupid things. I was briefly married, but her drinking problem got out of control and ruined things
Call it simp guys not nice guy. These types of words misrepresent and demonise the word nice.
@@justvideos3483 I think women just say “nice” in general because we are not a rollercoaster of emotions for them. Hence why we are dead last in the dating pool.
Head up King, go get your money and take care of your mum and siblings. This is the only sacrifice that will bring positive returns either in the eyes of the maker or in theirs.
💯💯💯
However, there are a lot of guys out there who appear well put-together who do not “simp”, but appear to be nice guys when they really aren’t. They use nice as a tool to get what they want, and drop it as soon as it doesn’t work or isn’t needed. It’s an issue of self-value, valuing others, and being genuine moreso than just “being simpy”.
I spent almost two years with a girl I loved dearly. The most beautiful, fun, person I ever met. I hit the jackpot! When we met she asked if I would ever hit her or treat her like crap. I promised she would be treated like a queen. She broke up with me and her reasoning was I was spinless, never backhanded her or started any fights. Women are not creatures that think like a man at all.
Those questions when you first met were HUGE red flags.
Bro if she wanted to be backhanded then be glad it’s over. That has disaster written all over it. Domestic violence charges and lengthy, expensive divorces are the only way things that awaited you had she stuck around
Yep. I had a GF one time try to get in the middle of a friend-couple’s argument (her friend and her friend’s boyfriend) and I tried getting her to stay out of it but she was upset that her friend’s BF was “being rude” to her and kept trying to jump in but I held her back and told her to leave it alone and let them deal with it since it was only words and there was no physical violence. She kept trying and trying to meddle in it and I held her away but she wiggled her way out and then punched me straight to the chin and it took everything in me to contain my reflex to punch back but she was my GF and I wasn’t trying to hurt her and then after realizing I wasn’t gonna hit her back she called me a pu$$y bltch and said I wasn’t even “man enough” to defend myself. I promptly broke up with her after that. No way am I dealing with that psycho nonsense.
Stop making “nice” a derogatory word… Jeez us women.
The issue now is nice guys and being a gentlemen/chivalrous is now so muddled that it dont matter now what your intentions are. Its all viewed as “nice guy”
Exactly, women just throw everyone who is kind and nice into the same pile as someone who is being fake and trying to swindle them into romance.
@@VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMyes!!
We live in a society where being “nice” is seen as bad and even weakness…oh well. I do not know the rest of you, guys, but I am done changing for other people. If someone does not like the way I am, well, keep walking. I am not like a video game rated “E” for everyone.
From Jordan Peterson: “A nice man is someone who prioritizes being pleasant and agreeable, potentially to the point of being passive or avoiding conflict, while a good man is someone who possesses deeper virtues, is capable of taking strong stances when necessary, and has the potential for dangerous actions that are kept under voluntary control; essentially, a good man is not just nice, but also has the strength and integrity to do what is right, even if it’s not always easy or popular.”
I like being a nice guy, and I’ve always looked for a nice girl that would appreciated that. I Never found one (not even close), but that will never change who I am or what I’m looking for. I’ll just enjoy my peace until I meet someone worthy of my kindness.
I dunno, Court. If a girl rejects a nice guy it’s rooted from unresolved trauma. 95%+ of women made horrible choices in men and blame men for it.
95% percent plus of women? So the overwhelming majority of men in relationships are bastards including (statistically likely) every male relative of yours in a relationship? Do you ever stop to reflect how completely irrational these views are?
I think that’s less likely with most women. Women are generally attracted to a man who can stand up to others and hold his own, showing that he’s not just a follower but can be a leader when he needs to. That means not being agreeable. Of course, girls often mistake jackass clowns for having this quality. But also, especially in western culture, a PLETHORA of women not only seek out but are addicted to the dopamine hits of the up and down drama, which is why women who are mistreated stick with the man mistreating them. Not always, but in a world where it’s really not a battle against nature and your next door tribes anymore, normies be bored. At least that’s my synopsis of modern relationships from my 40+ yrs of observing others. I’d also like to mention, that’s probably why a lot of women enjoy being teased a little, because it shows you can be confrontational, but you’re doing it in a non-threatening way.
Whilst still going back to same type of guys. They take pride in intuition but still make questionable choices in men. Bizarre
Yes