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It’s irrational and sounds like an excuse when a man says he can’t fully take care of another person. Not to mention there are other ways a man takes care of a woman, not only financially. First, if they are teammates, not everything is on him by definition of being a team. Second, it’s cheaper for 2 to live than 1. Third, does she not bring anything in, even a SS check? There’s another part of a man that hangs onto this story in regard to why he doesn’t want to take things more seriously. Fourth, is he looking to be taken care of by a woman? Because wouldn’t the same story come up with another woman?
There’s parts of a man that are resisting going all in. Until he separates from, connects with, and understands why this part is trying to protect him, it’s the same situation moving forward
Agreed. It’s horrible & delusional to say you want to take care of someone as though the other person is an invalid.
Most fears are not rational…
@JonathonAslay Yes, that’s true! But where does that leave the other person?
@@JonathonAslay True for those who are not healed. However, a fear is a part of us that has a job to do to protect us because it loves us. Often, the part thinks we’re still children and not adults, capable of taking care of things, and have been burdened for years with their job. Fear does not operate out of Self energy.
There’s no reason to live with these parts of us that cause us to think and act irrationally, unless someone wants to, which happens a lot.
Internal Family Systems (IFS)
Eh, a guy who is long distance then say he wants to start as friends—that would be a pass for me. When I was single, I didn’t need more ‘friends’, too complex with a man. Solid, secure, mature women fall in love through courting, she wants to feel special and have him invest in her. There’s no rule that says courting must equal lots of money. Actually they can plan dates that cost almost no money, a free concert at a library, a hike, festivals, a picnic lunch are a few examples.
Yes, agreed! pass. Too many hang ups. Better to walk than to suss out ithe irrationalty of the premise. Likely futile. That person is not looking for a way to make it work, but rather finding a way to make it fail…or worse– stall.
Lol driving someone to the airport or picking up the dry-cleaning means intimacy? Nope! Means a good neighbor. Beyond that, wanting to “take care of someone” is repulsive & presumes they cant take care of themselves. No thank you!
That’s cruel
@JonathonAslay What do you mean?
I guess my 25 years of Nursing and wanting to take care of someone/ people is repulsive according to your definition? If I ever get married for the third time I would take my vows as seriously as I did the first two times and I mean the ones that say in sickness and in health. If that means eventually looking after my husband then that is what I’ll do and I don’t think there’s anything repulsive in that.
Oh just out of curiosity I guess you’ve never had kids because you would have to look after them because it presumes they can’t take care of themselves. I feel very sorry for you and your outlook on life. Sorry for being blunt but I didn’t become an assistant head nurse resting on my laurels.
Those 6’s are BS in my opinion. I’m 5’-2”, the guy I met is about 5’-7”, moderate income, but a big plus in the “other” department. He is very committed, honest, fun, kind, and together we will both be better off financially. We are BOTH lucky, as we are 65/70. People need to look beyond those number 6 guidelines. I feel they are very shallow guidelines by which to assess a person by, and furthermore, you will most-likely discard some very decent people!
it should be outdated for a man to think he has to take care of a woman financially. all i’d hope is that he can support himself. i dont have a lot of money, but i have a job that pays my bills, and if i’m honest, dating a man with money would make christmas and birthdays a nightmare to me. a guy i know told me a story about a Rolex he had stolen, how much his house and van cost now bear in mind i was interested in him but he’s not committment minded so when he told me the story i remember thinking it was just as well cause there wouldn’t be a rolex in his stocking at xmas…x