Am I moving forward in my healing journey? 3 SIGNS YOU ARE
NORTH CAROLINA RETREAT
November 1-3, 2024
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
Just accept that they hate your authenticity and they’re out to dismantle you. Maintaining distance is the beginning of healing.
Recognize your intuition. That means relearning to trust your assessment of a person, place or thing. People will show you who they are the FIRST TIME. Be stoic in your resolve. By creating a shift in your perspective. It is what it is. Move forward with your life.
Yessirreee, that twisting up and around of our guts, that sinking feeling in the solar plexus is def giving the hint something’s off!
My intuition isn’t always right on the first meeting. It takes me a bit to figure out who is a full blown narcissist to who has learned narcissism behaviors. Granted our society is a narcissistic society. Some narcs I agree you can feel them on your first interaction with them.
@SherryTomlinson-r2y One’s clarity has always been present. But we choose to see in others what we value in ourselves. This is a form of idealization or mirroring. Essentially,it is people pleasing. Because we are looking for acceptance from another person instead of acceptance for ourselves. True acceptance must come from within.
Not if you’re spending most of your waking hours hunting, spotting and labeling narccists… the education comes with a fine balance of not becoming the monster you were fighting
My radical acceptance can be summed up in the following:
Congratulations. You win. You win a game and a prize that doesn’t even matter to the people that really matter.
In your eyes I maybe a loser but at least I’m not YOU.
“C’ya! Wouldn’t wanna be ya!” is a favorite of mine 😂
I know I love the phrase I WOULDN’t wanna be like you. I Robot album 77 or 78
Love this
You know you’re healing when you stop wasting time thinking about the past and feel more optimistic about the future and believe what is coming is better than what is gone and should be left behind.
I would add a caveat to this – when you can speak objectively about the past and not feel triggered by it. Recently I was attempted to be hoovered by a bunch of FM the head puppet master behind it. The hash tag is “ the hell with the past” .
My immediate response was I tried the hell with the past too many times and the Venus fly trap made my life a living hell.
The let’s forget about it while narcissists secretly dwell in the past is a tactic to slide into re offending ( & this happened to me while in NC and right after the recent last stunt – )
The problem is by forgetting about the past when dealing with narcissists who want to act like nothing happened is to avoid accountability for the hidden abuse . So to your face the say forget the past ( while behind your back a plan is in play to find new opportunities to use you or smear your name )
I know this game all too well. Been there survived it a few times.
To forgive too much & without fully accepting it all – this can leave you susceptible to allowing a worm hole for predators to crawl back inside. They can pretend to change or have a “ come to J moment” – it is all BS.
This happened to me repeatedly and it was how I got conned out of more money or they literally stole more from me. While they acted like a victim ( behind my back) while they spread a smear campaign that I did not do anything for them. While they she showed. up uninvited and. driving new cars.
Narcissists keep a score pad
to use everything against you for black mail ( they lie even when there is nothing to black mail you with) and they do not grow or change or grow up.
They do. play lets pretend that never happened- to hook you in to repeat offend. Narcissists entire personality is based on pretence so they will never be held accountable for their actions.
We repeat what we don’t repair.
To live free of NA is Devine.
All said I agree with you that the healthiest thing you can do is grieve the losses , accept & move forward and carve out a new happier life . 🥂
It’s been 10 years for me, and I still am not in a place where I feel I can trust a man to come into my life and not be another destructive soul killing source of misery.
Not just any kind of acceptance, but RADICAL acceptance.
Yesssssss
I started about 16 years ago , searching what is a psychopath (narc) I found Dr Ramani during shut down. I was like wow this doctor knows the narcissist! And knows how narcissist try to destroy and do destroy others. Ty Dr Ramani- ❤
When the narc and her flying monkeys start threatening you , you have to leave , and move far away
Radical acceptance was a GAME CHANGER. I’ll never get to the highest level of indifference though. I’ve seen the narcissist do some inhuman stuff. If I ever see him I’m running in the opposite direction. Not because I’m not “indifferent”. It’s because he’s CREEPY and NOT HUMAN.
When I realized my worst fear was having a stroke or heart attack and being left in the care of my narcissistic spouse, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt I had to get out. Big surprise, as painful as leaving him was, my health improved immensely. Thank you Dr Ramani for sharing all you do! ❤️
I was just like you,my worst nightmare came true,I had a stroke & a heart attack @ 59 yrs old,last November & when I tell you the worst part was actually seeing the coldness & distance it was unreal,I had no idea about Dr ramani & what narcissism was but I quickly learned. Thank God I began to heal & I got the strength to leave in April,I’m living with my mom now , I went no contact,all my belongings are in my mom’s garage ,I hv no car, money but I hv something far more,I am free of the hell I was living,that almost took my life & I’m thankful everyday,I escaped and I’m healing.
With parental narcissism it’s almost impossible to not care what their lies did to you.
you crapped out in the parent department but that trauma created many good things about you.
I woke up today thinking I have to accept people as they are even if I can see there horrible people !!!! It’s more freeing to see the truth.
With radical acceptance, it’s an incredibly lonely and isolating feeling. That’s the hardest part. Knowing that you are painted as the villain or difficult one for cutting off that narcissist. Trying to cultivate relationships with other healthy people is also hard because you wonder if you’re overthinking things or wondering why you are feeling anxious. My body has been in flight or fight mode for most of my life because of trauma. I hate what my narcissistic family has done to me, but I refuse to let it define me. Empathy and authenticity is the black sheep’s greatest gift.
Thank you for sharing. Everything you said resonated with me, and it really helps to know that I may feel alone & isolated but sadly many others feel the same. So lovely that you left an uplifting sentiment towards the end. Thank you, from somebody who’s been in fawn and flight mode since they were 7 -8 years old, 66 years old now and almost free. Always the black sheep apparently, now I see my black sheep empathy as a gift too. Still searching for my full authenticity, it’s a slow progressive thing with me. No, it doesn’t define us does it! We won’t let it! Thanks again yael, peace, light and freedom to you from the UK.
@@beekinder6953 You’re welcome! Glad my words encouraged you. Black sheep are the strongest people on this earth. We keep the faith in humanity. I wish you well on your healing journey 🙏
I get that 100%! I’ve spent a lifetime with narcissists, starting with my Dad. Many narc partners later, I was discarded by the last one & have been single, by choice, for the 12 yrs since, with zero interest in romance or dating (I’m 62).
It took decades of on again-off again therapy & self-help stuff, but over the past 3 yrs I’ve really become better & better at trusting my intuition & honouring my authentic self. It is so freeing & empowering, and yes, isolating at times. Abandonment issues & self-doubt still creep in and I’ve discovered a lot of social anxiety within that I’d not been aware of before. That said, I’ve got the awareness & tools now to navigate such times without drowning in it. Setting & maintaining healthy boundaries has become a whole lot easier. I sleep much better. The only drama in my life these days comes at the hands of my now terminally ill father & my narc sister. Despite family & many outsiders not understanding, even judging me for it, I have largely blocked both dad & sis & wow, life is so much better to have almost no contact with them at all.
For those occasional days when I still do feel isolated or like an outcast, there are many more when I feel relaxed, content & even happy.
It’s a journey, but well worth the effort!
They will never take away my humanity. I am powerful now.
loyal friends and family are priceless. treat good people well.
Thank you so much for your work, this is so important. “Don’t share good news with a narcissist” — this is where I always go wrong. I always think she will be excited and happy for me, but she cuts me down, diminishes and even laughs and mocks me. She is not even aware of it. The hardest part is she isn’t always like this. Sometimes she IS supportive, at least it seems like it, but that’s probably part of the narcissistic game. Thank you for sharing your story ❤
a narcissist NEVER wants to see you happy and succeed in life, they get a kick out of your downfalls. they’ll kick you when you’re down and cut you when you’re up.
Respect to those heroes who saved that woman.
Your book ushered me squarely into radical acceptance…
I wasn’t sure it would help much since I have been watching your videos for years, but the way you build knowledge and weave through the process made it all crystal clear. Thank you Dr. Ramani!
It is shocking to realize that the malignant narcissist had been horrible all along. Gloating at my upsets and pissed with my good news while pretending to be a nice partner.