Are you ANGRY at everyone EXCEPT the narcissist?
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
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This video will stop me from lashing out at my therapist.
I can see this going on many levels right now. This is how families get torn apart, and this is a time you need to stay safe.
100% agree.
@fran23324 ❤️🩹
For me the anger comes from not being heard and understood. Everyone is mirroring the narcissist. It’s just more abuse.
Same I feel like my anger comes from not being understood or heard or everyone lacks empathy it’s brutal it’s a deep loneliness
that is realy the biggest reason why therapists are need. just to give a sense of reality to the abuse.
i hated it everytime when my family just acted as if nothing happened and if i didnt want to play along it was always the gaslighting that followed “oh you are just being upset on purpose” “dont make it bigger than it actually was” ” oh you are such a crybaby get over it”
these people are the worst
Exactly 💯 percent.
No, I am angry at the enablers. I am so grateful to those who made me see what I went through was wrong. How I couldn’t see it before is beyond me. She literally tortured me with isolation. Locked in a room for six months with nothing to stimulate me for over a month and a half. My wife…. She gets coffee in bed. She gets adored. She gave me me back. Before my narcissistic step mother I was a light, and she manipulated a four year old. She taught me to diminish my light. My wife helped me bring it back. I am eternally grateful.
Your comment resonated so deeply with me. I definitely am more angry with the enablers.
@kathleen6088 I feel my abuser is not a narcissist but someone suffering from NPD. I have seen it, SHE can’t help herself. I can forgive impulse control issues AS I get safe. She is no longer able to attack, but that they are willfully blind to the behavior, their complicit nature, that they joined in…. That’s on them and they have no excuse. Again, forgive and pray for them but they lost me. And if they ever come back, they will meet a different me. One far less open, trusting or even talkative.
after 7 years of therapy i am just now finally breaking up with my entire family. its no point.
i went radio silence for about 2 years, that allowed my panic to fade. i am feeling happy, well thats not even the point, for the first time in over 17 years i feel something different than this panic induced pain. its gone.
people i thought of were good to me in my delirium, were in truth the poeple who enabled the abuse, who gave me the silent gaslighting or even worse direkt gaslighting.
i dont care about them anymore. they dont care about me one bit anyway.
there is only one person i was and could be truthful to and thats my sister.
i send a letter to my grandma yeterday explaining to her why i dont want to have anything to do with her or with the family anymore. i have 2 more siblings, i have a big family, i dont care about anyone of them anymore, only my sister and i keep to a few handpicked friends, im not gonna get bothered for anyone else anymore, well besides me^^.
Another commitment that resonates. I’m dealing with a person I suspect has undiagnosed autism, not narcissism. She moved onto the property and abusively nailed me within a couple weeks. Many classic narcissist moves, projection, blame me for her behaviors, lots more. Something told me it was autism, which I have no experience with. I researched it and learned it was definitely possible. I asked the landlord for help. Instead, he takes his frustration with her out on me. Hence, I am listening to this video. I also gave my notice.@@matthewball8147
@adswers6900 and while that makes sense in its entirety to me, I am Christian and I define myself by caring. My abuser attacked my wife and one of my children though and that made me see her clearly. I lost a whole bunch of people important to me, and realized they never really gave me a voice. It was a hard realization but I am stronger for it. I still care but I have learned that this is peace. As long as I was a part of that “family” there was no peace. Even my brother whom I once thought was my best friend…. Was involved in heavily abusing me. Now that I am over the Munchausen I realize confinement is extreme, unloving, cruel and most definitely abuse when it was used for the length and extent that it was used on me (1.5 months with no entertainment just clothes and bedding until my friend snuck music to me. Six months in my room total. Summer ending and going back to school was what got me out of that room. I was 14.) My brother’s lie kept me in that room. When he apologized at 38 years of age he laughed in my face as he apologized….. Yeah, it’s the whole family. I forgive them, I still love them and hope they find Christ. But they’ll do it without me in their life.
It’s okay to feel angry. It’s unhealthy to take anger out on another person or ourselves. Anger is energy. This energy can be used as fuel for our growth and healing.
I have the anger towards myself more than anything else. I constantly go through rumination and shame from the relationship.
Me too x
The rumination part is difficult to get past. I no longer feel shame, but frustration over feeling stuck in place. It’s like I’m frozen some days. Am working hard on breaking the trauma bond and never ending cycles.
And me
Yes I did this to my mother instead of my father. Sadly she left us but I asked her for forgiveness a few days before she passed.
Learning to let go of anger is was best thing for me. As I get older, it just became easier to control. Not everyone is the same, fortunately! Knowing who you are and how you want to live your life is one of the key things to keep calm and to try not to be angry about anyone or anything. 😁
Anger comes when there is no accountability for their evil
I dom’t even cafe about that but i feel responsible to warn others and i feel like they should be responsible recognising good vs evil, and they don’t understand
Or they just mess with you so much that I snap!!!!!! It seems the harder I try and the more good I do the worse things get😢
I was angry at the abusers, myself, and others who were mostly supportive but did something that rubbed me the wrong way. So much anger, which yes lead to shame in my case. Anger isn’t bad in and of itself, of course, without it I would probably still be stuck. But although I’m doing well in my healing, anger, including displaced anger, is still a big issue for me. The lack of consequences that the narcissists suffer, their ability to just go scot free and get more supply, then mess up another unsuspecting person’s life while many people think they’re so great is really hard for me to deal with.
The supports aren’t equipped to provide protection from the narcissist, that’s why the anger is projected.
They are so confused why the narcissist can’t be the person they once were to them, and why the supports can’t make this happen.
Wow, Dr. Roni that was deep for me inconsistency caused his self blame absence causes grief holy cow
Thank you ! sometimes it’s these little jewels within your talks that are so empowering ❤
As the former target of this displaced anger, I am tired. I won’t absorb it anymore. I won’t let someone in a narcissistic relationship drain my energy, and constantly choose to go back into the situation – confident that they can rain down abuse on me to make themselves feel better. They let loose with the rage that should be directed at the narcissist, because they are too afraid of the narcissist to speak up. They actually use beating up at you as a tool to help them stay in the relationship. I won’t be their proxy punching bag. Never again.
everybody, who is watching someone in a narcissistic relationship , need to see this video ,, and if you are in one of those relationship , it may help you to figure out, why you don’t recognize yourself anymore , and why you are stuck in this non sens . We become upset, because the victim don’t realize what is happening to them…but they need our love, more then ever ❣
I wish for healing and contentment and dreams to come true for everyone here.😊
🎉 well said
Very true Doctor Ramani, and if you’re in one of the severe situations of abuse, and then you do seem bitter, it does create shame for you when that happens. Even to the point of feeling really down when you do know you do not actually have those feelings about anyone else but you end up portraying as if you think that way. It is so unfortunate and sad when you end up portraying yourself as a person you’re not and I think it happens a lot with abuse victims. Nobody is perfect and some of us are always learning and some things that really kinda even break your heart due to your own mistakes are the things that will never happen again. People who are going through really abusive situations, PLEASE do not burn bridges by mistakes or unconsciously. Please do not take people who are helping you, such as therapists, as granted because this is the kind of mistakes you will regret the most.
Brilliant. Inconsistency is at the core. Incredibly painful
I was beyond frustrated with adoring enablers that Kept defending and protecting him while he was manipulating and triangulating all over the place . Eventually though, even though it took two to three Years, he burned them as well which pissed them off and Woke them Up to his true intentions thus his true colors and one by one, as pissed off former enablers drifted Out of his life, he Lost his support system. So now he Doubles Down on his Flash and Dazzle Charm, His Love Bombing, he has to Keep Searching for New Supply .
Yeah !!!!! Catch 22 !!!! It’s so frustrating !!!
I am getting more and more depressed. No psych meds for me. Ruined my mom. Angry at myself for initiating this disaster, back in 1972. My grown children and grandchildren have paid a high price, one even paid with their life. I’m the guilty one for having been ignorant and selfish. Sometimes I feel numb with despair.
It’s dangerous to lash out at narc’s.
I went no contact with narc.
But everyone is so irritating.
Telling me to forgive.
Telling me not to be bitter.
Blah blah blah.
So I went no contact with them too and now finally I’m starting to feel better.
I’m taking ashwagandha which helps.
Walking daily by the river with my sweet dog.
Making a vegetable garden and Art.
And I’m finally starting not to feel angry and bitter.
I will make new friends one day.
I do have 2 neighbors that I don’t totally hate which is as good as it gets right now.
This was a very insightful video ❤❤❤