Are you nostalgic for the narcissist?
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
Not anymore….almost 1 year zero contact 😂🎉
As empaths, many of us are optimistic and we tend to remember the good times, rather than the bad. Even if the good times were rare. Remember that those good times were merely a reflection of your own qualities and virtues. They mirrored back to you whatever they thought was going to get you to emotionally invest in them. They thrive off your reactions and devotion.
I have to think on this because I am nostalgic and or sentimental around my children.
I really needed this..thank you ❤
Absolutely 💯 very well said.
Do not deny the fact that they were some of the people that helped us live…. They may gave us bad news but it was to prepare us for a bad future… I lost my only friend who had a lot of anger but it was very justified because everything we spoke about everything we hated and despised was actually killing us… My friend was a lifesaver no matter how much anger and narcissism he had he was always willing to go out of his way to save someone else and often did on his expense… And as much as he wanted to get rid of people that were killing us he was more willing to save a life than ask somebody to take one…. And he never did ask somebody to take a life..
@craig265 Very good point. Even though I feel destroyed I did find healing of intimacy.
God bless you Dr. Ramani for helping so many understand and hopefully heal (and avoid in the future) people that have these personality disorders ❤
Thank you for another great one!
Thank you for your help ❤
this is tough for me because i drive trucks i sit with my thoughts a lot
Many live this when they aren’t on the road but 🫂!
@Summer_Harvest THANK YOU
Rumination is real. I’ve been riding on my mental carousel for years, but now I catch myself and redirect my thoughts out of the toxic past and back to the present moment and I think of people and things that bring me joy. It works with a bit of practice. Hugs from San Diego ✨🤗✨
@Dr.DorisTorres thank you for sharing I’m learning this as well redirect my thoughts 💭
Are you an over the road trucker.. Alone alot?? This happens to me, as soon as I actually catch myself, it takes a little minute, I talk to myself and say that’s not where you are now… Moving on… I then think of something I love to do, or enjoy.. or place I’ve seen, or place I know I’ll go one day. I ponder on heaven and how wonderful and unimaginable compared to here it will be, no limits., mean people and most of All.. Jesus!
Yes this happens during the holidays when I get nostalgic for the projections I made on the narcs in my life. I say projections b/c I believed my own distortions about my family relationships. Wishing peace and wholeness to all. Thank you for all you do Dr. Ramani.
I’ve done this and I’ve had it done to me so I understand completely as do you.😢❤ May God continue to bless your life with truth and the comfort from his Holy Spirit and a piece that truly does pass all understanding. That’s where I’m at right now
@@stillwaters7730 ❤
No. I’m not nostalgic for the narcissist.
Thank you for this, Dr. Ramani, since today is my husband’s birthday and I was debating if I should reach out with birthday wishes. I tossed all night fighting against myself, really trying to make my soul feel at peace about reaching out, but it feels horrible because I know he doesn’t love me and has mistreated me every time I let him back in. I keep minimizing the love I should have for myself. If I reach out, it’s erasing all my progress. I have to start the healing process over again. The struggle is real. I guess I just feel lonely after 3 decades in this abuse. I’m in the process of divorcing him.
I STRUGGLE WITH THIS SOOO MUCH!!!!!! Thank you so much for addressing this, I am so nostalgic for abuse… what is wrong with me… Thank you! ❤👍
Yes, throw the “NOSTALGIA DISTORTION GOGGLES” in the garbage can. For a better life.
Remember a great future doesn’t require a great past!
That’s Brilliant!
This is a good one, perfect timing before the holidays
Thank you Dr. Ramani. Really appreciate you
I am/was absolutely nostalgic for the narcissist. There’s so much pain wrapped up in it all but I can’t help but be fond of many of the good things.
I completely agree. The good memories were and still are good but the bad times trap us in a circle or cycle of confusion.
@mrspookie5377 Indeed. It makes me appreciate the good the narc had but I feel so much loss over their dysfunction.
The problem with nostalgia I noticed qith my very nostalgic covert an able mother, is it’s how she remembers the past and my childhood. It’s not how I felt or how things were for me, it how a he felt and how it was for her. Last year she wanted me to look through all the old photos together, whilst having no empathy for current life difficulties, nor my past hurts. I avoided it, I don’t want to look through holiday photos where we are all smiling. It was simply 2 weeks out of 52 where they were happy because we were on vacation. Parenting isn’t simply vacations and photos, it’s being there for your child, nurturing them, seeing them and helping them grow straight. My father destroyed my favourite photo in any case, when I was just 5 because he was in one of his rages. But let’s not talk about that as my mother would say.
This 💯 explains how I feel about some people right now . I feel nostalgic yet also that somethings not right and that they’re weren’t as good of a friend as I thought, and that they are not better then me. No longer self blaming. Focusing on the healthy safe peep and giving myself permission to be discerning. I am ok on my own. Thank you Dr Ramani ❤
I just go back and read the “ick list” Dr. Ramani suggested I make… nostalgia vision cured!! Never will I be treated so horribly again, no matter the few good times that were sprinkled in!! Thank you, Dr. Ramani!!!
Thank you for this, especially during the holidays, nostalgia hits and hurts like no other. This video is excellent and much needed. I feel seen. Thanks again.
Thank you for the work you do… I’m grateful to you for opening my eyes to my marriage of 25 years, 27 of being together. I’m now seeing through a different lens. Everything you say speaks to me…Ive been in a lot of therapy over the last 6 months and listening to experts on narcissism. God has revealed everything to me…the affairs, lies, manipulations, abuse..I now have the strength & resolve to move forward and divorce him. I’m no longer waffling. Lean on God. HE’S got you!
As I’ve learned about narcissism and how it has impacted my life (thanks, Dr. Ramani!), I have found my friends fit into one of three general categories.
1. General friends. These are people who were friends in a particular time and place, and we had fun and then moved on. Maybe we’re still in touch, or maybe not. Nice folks, good memories, and that’s that. This is by far the biggest group.
2. Narcissistic friends. These are people I wish I had never met. They were the ones who used me, and who, to one degree or another did to me the things this channel is all about, from highly malignant to just exploitative.
3. True friends. Not many of these, but they are the ones who I know I can count on no matter what. One of these guys literally saved my life.
Now, if I could go back and talk to my younger self, I would write the names of group #2 on a list in red ink with the words “Avoid like Ebola”. Group #3 would be on a list in bright blue ink with the words “Do whatever you have to do to meet and befriend these guys”.
This has come at a uniquely, perfect time -vacationing with four childhood friends who I have many many fond memories The problem -2 of them extremely toxic -i’ve worked extremely hard to navigate many narcissistic relationships and have gotten so much stronger – I will have to navigate a four day trip with them….I’m working hard to get strong for this trip and appreciate this video so much to help put things in perspective