Are you tired of having YOUR REACTIONS JUDGED in a narcissistic relationship?
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
The narcissist will push and provoke you into reacting. But they will never reflect on their actions which caused you to react to them. They fail to see that they are the problem.
Yeap. Poke the Bear then blame the bear for reacting.
Yep. It’s so unfair when people you love don’t pay attention to how they treat you and then blame you for their treatment.
“They fail to see that they are the problem,” and they are persuasive in convincing others that YOU are the problem.
I need help with one thing now. My dad has many narcisstic traits, after 30 years me and my mom realized it, that his behavior is not healthy for us. It’s long story of course but now I want to ask about one thing. My mom is sleeping in other room cause he threw her out of the bed they shared (because she went on sick leave even though he didn’t agree 🤦🏼♀️) and he is in room with his very expensive equipment for listening to music (“now I will finally take care of myself”) and plays music very loudly. He won’t turn it down, even when he didn’t treat her with silence he never did because “that’s how you listen to music, you can’t do that”. What can we do? I’m sorry for asking but there are so many things which are broken here, I’m losing strength even though I haven’t had it for years, I just want to help mom. We can’t move out, we might not have enough money, I only have a pension, my mother doesn’t earn very much. He listens to it during the day, at the latest until the quiet hours, but during the day, like Saturday or Sunday, mom also has the right to rest
That’s called REACTIVE ABUSE.
I’ve been listening to Dr Ramani interviews all morning. Thank you Dr Ramani. 🌹
Me too😂😂😂…and all week😂😂😂
@Houstonwehaveaprob1 💯🙌🏼
Not reacting to them continuously makes us into block of wood who can’t react to anything else happening in our lives.
That is a thing. Yep.
Yeah we become numbed. The scars run deep and consequently our skin gets thicker by necessity.
They have a problem even when we dont react and will do everything possible in their power to get us to react😒
Well said
Try to create yourself a separate life dead❤️
Narcissists will define any conflict as “you’re wrong I’m right” and anything the other person does which is even slightly negative will be used as a bludgeon to browbeat them into submission. The smallest foothold is all the narcissist needs to scale the mountain of complete denial
OMGGGGG!!!!!!! YESSS this is my life. I just counted all the narcissists in my life -12… and I still try to keep it together and it’s pushing me to my limit… Thank you Dr. Raman!❤👍 You keep me sane!❤
After a severe narcissistic relationship I began being hypersensitive at work. It wasn’t good. It bleeds out into other environments.
I’ve noticed the same thing recently.
How did you manage it? Or haven’t you done that yet?
Yes, it will come out one way or another. It’s really important to be yourself.
I think I was better at standing up for others when I was young, than I was at standing up for myself.
I remember purposely acting dysregulated at times since I was very young. That was when I was trying to protect others. Shock can be good distraction. They looked at me like they weren’t sure what they were seeing lol. It worked. Well… standing up for others that I loved at times. I didn’t always.
Empaths are very good at this! I think being a victim makes one relate to other’s pain and makes you step up for someone defenseless
It’s also scary seeing someone you love being attacked when you’re young… whether that’s verbally or physically. Or the threat of something physical.
This is absolutely the truth! Thanks for sharing this information Dr. Ramani. So many times I have felt guilt and shame for reacting to the relentless abuse that my narcissist inflicts on me. It’s such a harrowing experience, no human being should be expected to endure.
The therapist that doesn’t understand narcissistic abuse and they try to tell you that you’re partly responsible.
Over the years therapist have done so much damage to survivors by delaying proper care and treatment by gaslighting them and enabling the narcissist.
@@sharicoburn5475 Worse than that, that therapist is court ordered and then crosses over into making custody recommendations in family court! This $#it is bananas!
I once asked a client who was going through something similar, “What would make you leave?” …and it really gave her pause and she thought long and hard about it. It wasn’t to judge her; it was help her navigate her options and if/when to apply them.
That’s a great exercise to help someone realise that they actually have no boundaries 😅 scary I used to be like that
My narcissist mil would smile when I lost it. She has passed away since 2021 age 93 and I still shiver when I think of that smirky smile and the one raised eye brow. These videos are helping to heal me …age 75.
Dealing with this atm (93 y.o. too). They get worse with age. The smirk….yep!
Love your insight, hate the choices. Living empty and numb isn’t a life, it’s just existing. Hating them for what they can’t be is a waste of time. The only choice is to overcome the fear not of them, of yourself. When you’re told basically you’re a piece of crap all your life, it’s hard to believe you’re not, you will fail. God give us all strength to defeat fear. We all deserve to FEEL life, love,and joy. It is what seperates us from them.
Agreed. Using Gray rock for example, should be temporary. Only survive tool while you are planning your exit of this relationship.
My teenage kids are so used to me not reacting that when I carefully choose to have a reaction about something they all criticize me about not keeping the peace. And they all know he is the problem. It goes to show that what they get accustomed to is their normal and that boxes you in more and when you react it plays into abusers accusations of ‘you’re the problem’. As Dr Ramini says, you can’t win.
Because they’re also being abused, and they are not adults who can have any agency or control at all. It’s up to you – or the authorities if the situation escalates.
Thank you for exposing this. I am going to share this a lot on Facebook. I spent 6 months in psych ward, suffering from bouts of severe derealization dissociation, and when I asked them about narcissistic abuse, they decided I had BPD and put me on risperidone, and setralin. I don’t have BPD; i was being abused by a narcissistic boss and a narcissistic husband. I took myself of the drugs. I learned what I could do to change situations to avoid turning into a Zombie, every time I was angry and could not afford to express it.
@@WeissdornDE1 I empathize with you and what you went through. Keep realizing your power of knowing who you are. ❤️🤗
I understand this woman. Live in hope, die in despair. The hope that I could fix it propelled me forward. The narcissists in my life (and there have been many) spent a hell of a lot less time thinking about me than I did about them.
YES!! RIght on target, and thank you for clarifying this part of the horrible cycle of narcissism, too!
That lady was me for YEARS! I now recognize my narcissistic husband for what he is. His ‘jokes’ always bothered me but I couldn’t put it into words as to why because people would look at me & say he laughed it was a joke. Somehow I knew those jokes weren’t jokes they were threats or digs aimed at me…thanks for your timely words. You have helped me keep my sanity.
He was ‘Dog-whistling’.
OMG, YES! What’s worse is family court judges will lump you in with the Narc and punish you for having a reaction to the insanity. Then family court exponentially increases the urge to react adding to the already severe CPTSD.
TOXIC is TOXIC ! We can’t Not be affected ! Getting Out Alive and as UnScathed as Possible is the hope. Our desperate Sheer pure Primal Survival becomes becomes their ‘ game’. Don’t walk away, RUN !!! DO WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO DO TO STAY AS FAR AWAY FROM THEM AS POSSIBLE and Protect yourself and your Loved ones ! Learn Survival Skills of dealing with these people while protrotecting yourselves and your Loved ones !
Thank you Dr. Ramani for identifying that it is ‘normal to have a reaction’ to the abuse of a Narcissist, and explaining about the iceberg and the ‘tip’ of said iceberg that most people see, separate from the entire experience of interacting with these personality types.