But I feel JOY when I am with the narcissist…
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
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Absolutely. When things are good, they are amazing! When they are bad they are awful. Also, some feel joy when the narcissist is hurting because they hurt us so much, that’s a guilty kind of joy. Narcissists are very addictive and dangerous. No matter the relationship.
Yup! Yup! Yup! I think it’s just a moment that I can just finally breathe.. versus holding my breath around the person ….
For me it is my Mum and those tears used to come when she wouldn’t be abusive and from a place of deep sadness of ‘why couldn’t she be like this more.’
Periods of less tension and not joy made perfect sense to me and was a light bulb moment 💡🙏
This “joy” is the basis of addiction and co dependency.. thank you for ever Dr Ramani
Yes! You feel relief. Sometimes it can also be 5 days and they don’t show the bad behaviours and then you feel foolish for wanting to cut ties
“THE JOY” you get from the narcissist is equivalent to eating fast food and any kind of junk food high in sugar, everyday. It makes you feel good for the moment. But eventually it accumulates and before you know it, your health is in trouble.
WOW 😟 You NAILED it. OMG 😔
Really well said
Great analogy
For ADHD people – at least for me – it makes it extremely hard to not be drawn to them or let go
x 1,000
This type of energy is all my brain wants 24/7/365
I figured out I’ve resolved all my emotional issues, but this chemical aspect continues to be a huge challenge for me.
@@WetPaintChi I hear and feel you on this 💯.
This joy tricks you into staying longer with the narcissist. It gives you hope that things will be better someday. It makes you feel guilty for standing up for yourself because you think this relationship is not that bad. Those precious little moments are what they hold on to. In their world, you were happy with them. They never see the abuse.
YES 😞
Most times I found joy in what I was enjoying NOT in the husband I was with
It reminds me of breadcrumbing…being so grateful for any little good thing we think it overrides the bad or is better than nothing. It’s not. I’d rather not accept breadcrumbs and experience real healthy mutual reciprocal expansive joy and love. Thank you Dr Ramani ❤
This also reminds me of the abusive family members, who do horrific abusive things with no accountability then are suddenly nice and give gifts so then I’m expected to be grateful and pretend everything’s ok when it is not. I know the truth and I deserve better. Thank you Dr Ramani ❤
We feel relief when our needs are finally met and, if we’re just surviving instead of flourishing, we may mistake that for joy. True joy is much bigger than that.
My experience has been society at large really *doesn’t* offer much of a higher bar in general.
It’s why I prefer my own peace with my pets, and focusing on my Godchildren.
OMG, so Brilliant, and killer analogies. You were so ON, Ramani. Your subjects are so thoughtfully and expertly presented that I am riveted till the end, and then I can turn right around and explain this concept with no effort. I got to thinking about the limited text contact I have with my NM. She makes sure to text Good Night every evening. Now I can see I was finding joy in that because she the only person in my life who does so; but I also know she does it to remain inserted in my life.
‘When not drowning feels like a good life, that’s not great. Survival is not joy’ …So true.. Focusing on reality with knowing the difference between joy and momentary relief. Working on my well being finding authentic joy, radical acceptance realistic expectations and less guilt. Thank you Dr Ramani ❤
Thank you, Dr. Ramani. Your explaining various manifestations of narcissism in relationships is quite clear. You are right. As you discussed in your video, we cannot deny reality in thinking that a temporary relief of chronic abuse from a narcissist brings joy. Repetitive cycles of abuse cannot be normalized. There is something wrong when a person is driven to torment another person on a continual basis. It is unlawful to disturb someone who is doing no harm to anyone. The absence of moral absolutes in my opinion is what is causing willful disregard toward another human being. Man’s inhumanity to man. Chronic narcissistic abuse is unacceptable in a free world economy. Urgent humanitarian intervention is necessary to restore order in a society of cancel culture and disrespect. Tolerance, mutual respect, and dignity have to be restored to relationships. These factors should become stabilizing forces for continuity in all communities.
If it were only so simple ! The whole point is to recognise that the narcissist thinks he is a good person, he does not see any abuse and you will never convince him otherwise. Never. He has no capacity for introspection, therefore the abuse will continue.
@@lesleydavies3199 They won’t truly become aware that what they are doing is wrong, but you can. And from there engage in some of the things the OP talks about, to make abuse less prevalent, normalized and rewarding for the narcissists out there, but mostly to make life better for the rest of us.
This is exactly what happened to me recently. 10:34 I don’t need to be around them or wiping the slate. Been there and done it for years and years. This video was on point!
“A lapse in cruelty is not evidence of kindness.”
Cheers to everyone who is still struggling to heal after years of… remember you are not weak keep pushing
It feels like parents can well as partners simply took a hammer to my psyche every time I felt like I was experiencing joy 💔❤️🩹♥️ now I feel grateful relief & some peace but it’s all mine to enjoy 😉
@@caroleminke6116 I feel you, keep enjoying
Funny & fun to be with but definitely not someone to trust or respect much less love. Eventually those good feelings are replaced by unease & dislike. Then it’s time to distance yourself or go no contact if romantic because you’re on thin ice with a narcissist. I never turn my back on one without expecting vengeance so now I put up blocks immediately!
Um, Dr. Ramani? “I’m not very creative.” You are, you’re just doing collective art with groups of people who feel like something thrown away until you help them understand and heal. That’s art, and it’s beautiful. ❤