Did the narcissist HAVE YOU at HELLO?
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
She did. She mirrored. I didn’t recognize the red flags. I thought we could always work things out. She slowly disengaged. Then she discarded me. In the end, our marriage was just an experience for her. It didn’t mean anything.
Yep, I was taken in too. In the โwhy?โ phrase at the end I was told โshe promised me a new motorcycle.โ To which I said me and the kids donโt mean more to you than a motorcycle? His reply was that SHE didnโt mean it that wayโฆ.maybe she didnโt, but you did.
Narcs view people as objects and tools. They use Mirror to build raptor. Covert Narcs would play “coy and shy” , hiding in the shadow and acting deep, trying to get attention “without trying” For example: this one Covert Narc dude was hiding in the shadow of a party but he started taking pictures of me, I was a teen and I didn’t see him while bright lights were flashing at me so I instinctively looked at the flashing light’s direction and he was ignoring me, then it happened again and again, so I approached him and asked oh can you send the pictures to us, he acted like he had zero interest and was just taking pictures of people he was “coy shy and not interested” … Now looking back he has seen me first and was targeting me, narcs and psychos scan the room and target certain people, they are full of tricks and tactics, and full of you know what. Overt Narcs are very show off and loud, they would straight up go to your face, scream out some jokes, do tricks, jump off tall things, climb walls, and do all types of “look at me!!!” center of attention.
In this case, he did. He told me one look at me, he knew that moment it was gonna be something different. Took 3 months for him to start hitting me and destroying my house. It still shrudders me to remember those moments while writing this comments… We should all avoid them at all cost
It happens to me as well, except for the fact that the “gentleman appeal mask” drop off, I was assaulted and fled… Literally.
Every single movie is about narcissism!!!๐โค
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And so-called “love songs” too. ๐
It does seem that way now, doesn’t it
They’ve been corrupting our minds since childhood. We’re taught to sacrifice, endure, tolerate and give and give and give, because they will “change”. We just end up drained and they move on to the next host with no punishment or reconciliation for us. On the contrary, we’re blamed for everything and told that we don’t know how to choose.
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Yes, she had me at hello and slowly turned into hell.
๐๐ปexactly
Narcs are so common nowadays maybe because it took us years to gain knowledge about such behavior traits.
So much of it is too subtle, &/ or nearly impossible to see without the full context of hindsight.
He had me at hello. At first sight I fell in love with him as he came in through the fence. Heโs beautiful and I am going to get to know him! And I did, he comes and goes as he pleases but on this rainy day he is sleeping under my cot. The most beautiful cat I have ever seen.. heโs a bit narcissistic btwโค
The degree to which you understand what weโre going through (or in my case, escaped from after 20 years of hell on earth) is impressive. The building of the trauma bond that ultimately becomes oneโs prison sneaks up on the victim and it is impossible for family and friends to understand. Thank you for all you do Dr. Ramani.
Good for you! Did you just leave unannounced/escaped because it would seem like he and family would try to Hoover you back. Or did you just come out and say Iโm leaving you. I want a divorce. What actions did you take? โค
โHow do they respond when things go well for you?โ Coming from narcissistic parents, my lifeโs work was to try to get someone to tell me that they were proud of me. I noticed with my exes that my successes were never celebrated, and with my new awareness, Iโve learned that I chose partners who mirrored my parents, therefore, I was doomed to failure looking for support of any kind, much less pride. This hits hard, and Dr. Ramini, thank you. Your content (literally) saved my life, and Iโll continue to follow you as long as you keep creating these insightful and incredibly generous videos. Youโre so kind for creating this safe space. Thank you ๐๐ป
โค same
You had me at “hello” and lost me at your next mood swing that was then followed again with politeness to be followed by more volatile behavior. My head was turning as the “exorcist” trying to follow your behavior. After three “hello” I was already packed to flee the scene.๐
Went from HELLO then straight down to HELL.
Yes because they seem to have radar which tells them who they can manipulate and how to manipulate each individual person .
We know he ate it up.
Yup! I used to love the movie. Once I woke up to all this nonsense I realised how many movies and TV shows were just doubling down on our unhealthy and unhelpful beliefs as a society, gender roles especially.
That movie was about changing a person which we know doesnโt work.๐ฎ๐ฎ๐ฎ
Lol “The Love Bomb is in the house!” you’re funny. That song is by Kenny Chesney … he also has a song “Better As A Memory” lol, I was hearing the lyrics and thinking: no, you better not be any part of my memory, bye!!! run!!! LOLl!!! it was a pitiful song about some physically ill guy that lives his wild player’s life hurting women but you still have to feel sorry for him and pity him … lol … Doctor Ramani, you have been tackling cultures and societies so much, so awesome, thank you.
Both my parents, several adult friends too, finally have clairvoyance for my mental health and no-contact approach has aided my health!
Biggest mistake of my life. Waste of 10 years. He had me at hello, and “the rest is history” Ouch. Thankfully I got out.
From โHelloโ to โHollowโ in the speed of a rollercoaster, thatโs the reality with the narcissist.
Wow great expression!๐โ๐ผ
The thing is, even if they exhibit kind behaviour, great character and a supportive spirit, it could all be an act. Some of them keep the mask on for years and years without a trace. It’s not safe out there for kind hearted people, so many professional actors and actresses, sometimes you question who’s even real.
If you tell anyone the truth they think you’re crazy, and if you end up falling for another premaditated trick, it’s your fault, even if 100 people plotted against you and ruined your peace, it’s still your fault.
I’m committed to antisocialism. Let me be. Leave me alone. Wicked wicked spirits.
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I love you. You have helped me so much as I am divorcing a narcissist. You are so real, and I’m pretty sure we would be great friends.
Brilliant. There are so many iconic phrases that originated in a movie about a Narcissistic relationship. We were being conditioned to think this is normal behavior.
A few years after I moved back home when I finished my bachelor’s degree, a narcissist said “hello” to me and I instantly saw the lovebombing coming.
I went against my instincts and fell for the future faking, suffered the silent treatments, the exclusions, triangulations and the gaslighting from him and his flying monkeys.
I went no contact with him over ten years ago.
He and his flying monkeys are still stalking me today.
He had me at goodbye๐