Do Narcissistic People Have a Fawn Response?
We often think of the narcissist as all fight — all rage, all defensiveness, all dominance. But trauma responses are involuntary, and narcissistic personalities are not exempt from them. In certain situations, especially when power is involved, a narcissistic person may shift in ways that feel surprisingly compliant or even deferential. Understanding this pattern doesn’t excuse the harm — but it may help make sense of some of the whiplash.
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
Narcissists feel anxiety can feel guilt and shame they do fawn and respond to trauma
My take? They do Not feel Guilt nor Shame, everything else Agreed..
Dr. Ramani,
Im so glad your channel found me.. Timing count be more impeccable. I always felt there was something not right with my Mother. Dad just died, grandma as well.. and my siblings and i had to cut her off, off our lives. It’s hard, painful and full of guilt.. but somehow your words makes so much sense and makes me realize a lot of things that were off growing up.
Bless your good soul! <3 May i be fortunate enough to meet you someday
Hugs and Healing to everyone thats reading this
Gold information ! Thanks Dr Ramani ❤✨
Yes of course, Narcs have fawn response. They do not have a true self, hence they become “social chameleons,” mirroring others’ opinions and values. This shields them from displaying their true identity, emotions and behavior in public. Narcs fawn even more than victims but in public.
Yup.
Yeah they don’t fawn for their victim but for others as a defense
Yes, but this is because they are victims of emotional abuse at the very least. We often forget that Narcissists have attachment injuries that go back to childhood. This is no excuse for treating others poorly, but they were also victims.
@Itsme60804💯
@Itsme60804 “treating others poorly” is what happens with non-abusers who for what ever reason do it but are likely to take accountability and apologize. Anyone who spends the time to understand the core pattern of abuse of Narcissists (zero empathy, and zero accountability) and the story of SURVIVORS (most are killed) will never say they were treated “poorly”. Minimization of abuse is a manipulative tactics used by Narcissists and their “flying monkeys”. It is meant to downplay what they’ve done in order to skirt the consequences of their actions.
Education: Narcissistic abuse, coercive control and emotional manipulation inflicted on victims (who did nothing to the Narc) to destroy the victim’s self-esteem to maintain power, domination and control. Tactics such as e gaslighting, isolation, and love bombing to create a cycle of confusion, dependence which gets the victim trauma bonded making it difficult to leave their abuser. All Narcs know what will happen to the victim at the end during the idealization/love bomb and false stage but the victim is clueless. NARCS abuse everyone in their lives, no exception.
Weaponized ignorance, a manipulative tactic, used deliberately to feign lack of knowledge, understanding, or awareness to avoid responsibility and evade accountability. If you want to learn more about Narcs, Prof Sam Vaknin (diagnosed Narc), and Dr. David Clarke (Christian teaching on Narcs) amongst many will help you. July 1 is world Narcissists abuse awareness Day. I never mansplain or Narcsplain (lost cause). I only teach once. Bye Felicia.
I know my ex does. Our neighbor had to rescue us from him, she’s probably the reason we’re still alive. But he wouldn’t let me and the kids out the door. And she was on the other side of it beating it down yelling for him to quit that she was on the phone with the police (he had taken my phone so I couldn’t call for help). AS SOON as she got that door open a little and the commotion could be heard by other neighbors he stepped back and lowered his voice and let me open the door and said “I’m not stopping her, she’s just crazy” and then *helped me* buckle the kids into the car seats in front of everyone looking on, like he wasn’t just about to end us all. And I got in and took off with my children and none of us had shoes on. He tried to say I was unstable and he was trying to stop me from driving a car with our children in it. And I said “no, if I was so unstable, you’d have been yelling for neighbors to help you stop me so you could save the children. Your property was just getting ready to take off and you weren’t having it.” I was trying to leave bc he was drunk and scaring me badly, and kicking me, etc.
And now on our court ordered coparenting app he’ll lie about me, so I tell a big truth about him there in writing and show proof of my truth, and he immediately starts saying “look I just want what’s best for the kids, let’s just act civilized, my goodness I didn’t think you’d get that crazy about it.”
To me that is their version of fawning. Which is gas lighting. But it is sudden “kindness” or meekness or “agreeableness” lol it’s sudden bc they’ve just been exposed and don’t want the exposure to get worse.
They need fawning so they stay admired, in control, or unchallenged.
Yes, exactly….
Empaths get wrecked by such people!!!
Why it’s so important to learn from Dr R and others so we can transform from being Victims into Survivors🎉
The world needs us to be the super hero in understanding this crisis and how to navigate it to SURVIVOR
My mother usually was coming back from work angry and then raged at home❤❤❤
My MIL fawns sometimes, because she’s always trying to stay on my good side. She was furious at her son for marrying someone “too independent”, and now I’m the gatekeeper to her grandkids. She’s always terrified she’ll lose access.
If anyone wants to see a narcissist fawning, check out the video of a certain president reacting to a certain newly elected mayor visiting the Oval Office.
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“pick the dressing for the gaslighting word salad” 😂😂😂 I’m laughing but it’s the worst fucking part 💤
So Brilliant. It’s not you! While this well executed information will not change a Narcissist, as calling them out NEVER works, it gives us additional reaction tools and the awareness of where we can be vulnerable in these situations. For me, a better understanding of how a Narcissist thinks is a HUGE validation that IT’S NOT ME. Thank you, thank you, thank you and your amazing Team for everything you do for this community.
I ❤️ Dr. Ramani/Dr. Clayton collabs!
They do whatever it takes as long as it suits them and they get their way, especially when it comes to someone in a higher position or authority than themselves!
Hell yes! They fawn around anyone they perceive to have more power or status. Narcussists suck up and punch down.
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Omg this video came in such a timely manner. I’d just escaped an overt/ grandiose narcissist; he was trying to pinch me from my current manager and to work with him instead but I saw the red flags from my first day at work so I bought myself some time to properly assess whether my instincts about him were correct. I am so glad I listened to my instincts, because he is definitely textbook NPD, and was fawning and love bombing when he felt me pulling away. I used my work to avoid him and he was pissed. In front of my manager, he makes himself look like a harmless guy, but when no one is watching I saw his mask slip and his expression is absolutely chilling when he tried to confront me why was I avoiding him. He doesn’t bother me anymore, but I have been cautious and waiting for the smear campaign to happen like what he tried to do to another guy at work.
As I’m preparing to conclude my Divorce of 35yrs with my Vulnerable Narci wife I factor in the potential Fawning and what it might look like, so I’m prepared with my RESPONSE NOT REACTION! We’re never READY just PREPARED…See you AT THE TOP 🎉
Dr Ramani, TY for writing IT’S NOT YOU, it helps me help others in their journey towards being a SURVIVOR 🎉
I’m able to recommend the book so they’re equipped, lol, should be a textbook for us and our community towards our undergraduate degree on Narci Survivors
Empathising with narcissists trauma is what kept me stuck in those loops. I have lived through trauma and don’t walk around hurting other’s and punching holes in walls and doors and strangling partner’s etc. That helped me remove myself from harmful people in my life.
Narcissists never give you anything that they don’t take back with usurious interest.
Closure is a slow but rewarding journey that you go on by yourself. It is the journey back to yourself.
I recall how utterly broken in mind, body and spirit that I was after I left the narcissist. I was a fragment of my former self, a trembling shell, a ghost. I had a distant memory of who I’d been, and I held that wisp lovingly in my hands. This is what you have left when all your hope for a life with a narcissist has died. You have a memory of who you were, and you start with that.
Coming out of a narcissistic relationship is like trying to uncrush yourself after being crushed beneath a giant’s foot. Have you ever watched an ant that’s been stepped on writhing around trying to untangle its limbs? It struggles in a little tangled-up ball on its back, gradually freeing its limbs, and then righting itself, and hobbling along on its way. When you are a crushed-up little ball on your back, it is hard to imagine you can get out of this fix without some help. Maybe from the giant who stepped on you. But just like the ant, you can.
With narcissistic abuse, which takes your mind, body and spirit and ties it in knots, you have to reverse the process like you do when you are working knots out of a ball of string. You pick out the knots one by one. You do that by reading about narcissistic abuse, and writing your experience. As you describe how the knots were created, you reverse them. As your sentient system begins to stretch out again, you begin to breathe again, and breath is life.
Alongside this process of reversing the damage to your being, it is helpful to practice gratitude, and to practice feeling love. The earth and the air and the sky are filled with love, and it is yours for the taking. Take part in it, and praise God or Mother Earth or the Universe for the beauty and the love that you are able to feel again, after your long, loveless sojourn in Hell.
Closure after abuse by a narcissist is a slow process. I have been through it twice, and each time it took 3 years. Believe that you can be well again. When you get to the other side of this devastating experience, and you look back at where you were, you won’t believe what you have overcome. A human being is an amazing, resilient thing.To simplify the process, consider hiring a private investigator to do the sleuthing for you I genuinely appreciate how incredible you are and your work! Thank you for a job well done digitalinvestigate@gmail. com
This is torture with a narc parent, for an empath. We keep trying to understand them, and show them grace, while looking for some crumb of the love we believed they had for us as children. We still want to believe. They keep disappointing us. It’s soul crushing.