Do you feel conflicted about ending a narcissistic relationship?
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
If that person you thought was real, was real, you wouldn’t be thinking of leaving them. Just remember that.
My guess is their behavior would be such that you would just go the other way because it’s toxic
🎯
This.
The narcissist is fake and real good at being fake..
amen.
Emotional journey pauses at a point where you realises that you don’t want to know more and more about NPD instead you learn more and more about yourself and who you are, why are you like that what you value and what you ready to let go. External factors seems minors when internal production is in progress.
Yesss!
Exchange the focus to healing yourself and learn from the experience rather than dwell on the NPD of the abuser.
2yrs ago,my mother asked me to move to KY to help her and for companionship. I did, and gladly became the live in maid, cook, landscaper and purse. But that wasn’t enough for her. She demanded I pay rent, and complained that I cleaned ‘too much’ even though at least 3 of her 5 dogs regularly pissed on the new carpet for which I had paid. She kicked me.out of her house in early November.
I am currently living in a nearby RV park, planning everything to move back to Oregon. I am waiting until February, when my brother will come down to live with her.
How can i move without money in other country ?I am in this situation…
I’m struggling with this right now. Thank you Dr Ramani
No sadness EVER about leaving!!! Best decision I made for myself. ❤
That sums it up for me. In a narc relationship, love means becoming what they want.
I’m crying!! I needed to hear this, this is so empowering when I’m feeling so broken and shut down in my current relationship. Dr. Ramani thank you, again and again!
Same here I feel wasted
@@rosannedebattista3671I’m so sorry!
I ended a narc relationship 20 years ago. I took my 14 yr old daughter, left him & divorced him. He abused both of us. I told him if I stayed with him one more day I would lose my mind. He kept saying “You’ll be back.” It was the scariest thing I’ve ever done in my life. I did not go back. We found our way through some very rough patches & struggled but today are healthy and only have positive relationships. Yesterday I heard from estranged son (daddys golden child) that he was in hospital needed surgery and could die. I don’t know how to feel. He put us through so much
I was married 28 yrs. It’s bringing back painful memories for me & both my daughters. I couldn’t sleep, I want to cry. I don’t understand. We live in same town. He is still in hospital. My oldest daughter says she is bitter. We all feel angry I think. I’m going to spend time with daughters today. We need each other. I don’t understand our feelings. I think our son thinks we will come see him or help w/ recovery. We can’t deal with that. Although he was treated well he knows the harm that was done. Can you help me understand?💜
My Ndad died of Stage 4 pancreatic cancer this month. Even though I was low-contact with him for the last few years, I didn’t go to the funeral. His whole family was infested, minus one, maybe.
It’s okay to leave NC as it is. It’s okay to feel sad n angry at e same time. Listen to your body n your gut. For me, it’s a visceral gag reflex when I see them on YT. Pay attention to these signs; some r subtle. Listen well n do what will help YOU n your daughters, not what other ppl want.
If u need love n support, u hav it from us. Internet hugs! Be well.
Keep watching these videos and educate yourself. I get the life and death situation but you do need to do what’s best for you and your daughters may want to go see him and that’s ok but you don’t owe him anything. Look what he has done for you? And you gotta think if the situation was reversed what would he do for you? Probes not as much as you would for him. Idk the full situation but if he is a narcissist you know he hasn’t changed esp if he hasn’t been getting true help and he didn’t do that when he lost you all. Am I right on that part? There are self aware narcissists that actively seek help. This guy laughed you out the door and let you struggle with his kids. I’d have little sympathy for that.
Bang on you hit the nail on the head! Sad, depressed, lonely with them sad depressed, lonely without them
Life seems empty either way
it’s like touching something so bad that you will never be the same person again, after that touch.. even if you leave them.. you will nvr b the same u were before u met them..
That line really hit me now that I’m out….the sad from the relationship was never ending…..the sad from ending the marriage can and will end. I still have occasional moments of sadness but at least it has become far and few between and doesn’t last long
Feeling Guilt and that you’re being disloyal, despite their many emotional put downs, psychological eviscerations and multiple paper cut betrayals of your true self. My mother a covert married another malignant covert yet if he triggers her I get “you’re just like your father”! Her pain is worse than mine each and every time. There is no room for my pain yet the conditioning from birth still leaves that bitter taste of being disloyal.
1000%
Dr. Ramani, this was so insightful. And you’re right that having support is what can really be the key to moving on from a narcissistic relationship. Support without judgment or shame. When I broke up with my long-time narcissistic boyfriend a long time ago, my mother really helped me. She encouraged me and validated me all the way through it. She was so proud of me when I moved on with my life. (I had returned to school to get my graduate degree). She died when I was 35. I wish she would have lived to see that I married a good man at age 38. I hope somehow she knows. Thank you for this teaching ♥
Being in a narcissist relationship feels like a full-time job of proving your worth. When they reject you, it feels like you just got fired from a job you needed to survive. There’s this feeling of homelessness.
I agree with your comment as well 😊 a deep fear I had growing up is when my mother withdrew from me and that sinking feeling of fear in the pit of my stomach like you’ve nothing to anchor you and keep you safe. Funny thing is she didn’t keep me safe but as a child that didn’t dawn on me!
@bereal6590 that’s 100% the feeling. And exactly how I feel with my narcissistic mother. You feel unsafe with them and unsafe without them.
Yep
The 3 replies, so far, have totally validated me.
If I was getting an hourly wage for all the time I’d tried to convince my narc to love me, I’d have enough money to leave them 🙄
In my case after all the narsisist situation and trauma with the father of my daughters, I’m very happy far away from him. My sad feeling is because after all the bad situation all the injustice circumstances the father of my kids won, he has the girls and he never going to recognize their mistakes. But im in peace and feel thankful with God because gave me understanding to looking for heal. Thanks for sharing peace and blessings to everyone 🙏🏼
If there ever was such a thing as a guardian angel of truth, that would be you Dr Ramani. To me truth is the ultimate kindness in this world of challenges. You are a light in the darkness. Thank you for all you do.
Here Hear 🇬🇧
Bless you Dr Ramani for ALL the time and education you freely give to so many, EMPOWERING us with knowledge.
I now understand after being 6 yrs free of Narcissistic abuse, IT,s NOT ME.
I was knocking on Gods Door,(6ft under) initially thinking why am I not enough.
We feel soul pain, we hurt to our core – yet we are blamed & misunderstood. No more!
Yeh–takes so much courage to uphold the beat of your own drum when everyone else is joining the chorus of the cowardly, willfully blind crowd.
Just so you know Doc, you saved many people’s lives!!! There is shrink and there is Dr. Romani … i have mad respect for you 🙏. I was wondering why the whole 9 yrs of marriage was very scary or frightening neither to leave nor to continue!!! I have seen many partners living normal, I asked my self why mine is not normal, confusing, exhausting questioning my reality…started searching stuff on the internet then i found you and then I found my self again. Keep preaching 👏 🙏
Tha saddest part is a life not lived… too occupied to fix their drama, not make them jealous, angry, constantly adapting or ending my own plans….. sabotaging my own life 💔 Thank you Dr Ramani. This could have gone on forever. At 51 I have started on my life,again, but this time – better equipped ❤
The last thing you should ever do is tell someone that you will try to be the person they want you to be. Find someone who doesn’t gas light , do your best to have an honest back and forth . There is no way to find happiness with someone who tells you they never do anything wrong … I wasted a lot of time trauma bonded to someone who couldn’t see past her own feelings . It’s still taking time to find myself , but I just want to be healthy ,present ,and firm in my belief that happiness comes from within. Fix yourself ,you can’t fix anyone else .