Dr. Ramani’s Narcissistic Hummingbird Problem
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The way I relate to this is remembering having to detach from extended family because removing myself from the immediate family and not being able to explain anything was very scary and depressing. It was hard and I ruminated for months and months on end.
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What a great analogy!!
I agree.
“It’s easier to blame the one that walks away than the cause of the problem” You said it!
Because blaming the source destroys the illusion they’re all participating in
Yes!
Yup! A lot of humans really suck!
@@Nat-oj2uc Well said!
I’m holding “them” to account. Narcs didn’t know what they were messing with then they been bullying mama her whole life. I have discord how to not let them hurt me AND not let them get away with their behavior. It’s been a LIBERATING YEAR OF JUSTICE for me and MY LOVED ONE who has bpd and feels worth “less” than everyone else.
Doc, you ROCK
I feel I’m at the “climax” of a narcissistic relationship–my digestion as of late is taking a hit. I do have the support of surrounding family members. They’re waiting for me to make that move. Finances is a biggie. I appreciate, to say the least!, for your continued encouragement and observations of the world around you. That helps tremendously.
This hit hard. The generational narcissism and trauma that I have endured my entire life have forced me to cut EVERYONE out except my son. Most recently my 94 year old Grandma. She was the last enabler and perhaps narcissist that I just couldn’t cut ties with. She kept reporting back to the family of origin, and would not stop telling me about everyone and what they were doing despite multiple talks about how I didn’t want to know, and that hearing these things hurt me deeply. I am desperately attempting to break free from my role as the scapegoat and truthteller. The difficult thing is pulling up all those feeders and learning to live without all of them. I have yearned for peace, but all I feel is immense sadness atm. EXCELLENT analogy Dr. Ramani.
I understand your impotence and pain. I was in your position not so long ago. They are not evil, but they will never understand. Understanding you will cost them too much, and probably they are not (and they will never be) prepared or equipped to deal with the truth.
Re training your intuition and self respect will be your major triumph ❤
I went no contact 7 years ago with all of my family (20 to 30 people), I saw them at a funeral for the first time 3 weeks ago. I’m not worried about their behavior anymore, I am sure about my own. Nobody can take that away from me now. I am free, and I think, feel and behave accordingly. 🧘♀️
@@artifundio1 Thank you so much for this, it helps give me the hope I need. Sending so much respect, healing, and peace to you.
@@jarenkoelzer1994 I am happy to give you hope, I know I got lots of advice and hope from this comment sections years ago and now I feel the need to give back.
Best wishes on your journey 🥳✨
Same
@@artifundio1thank you for sharing your story!! This does help remind me to hold firm to the boundaries and to “trust the process” of healing.
OMG! Went through the same exact thing with my birds!!!
After trying everything, came to the same conclusion…removed all the feeders. For me, it took about a week for the bullys to move on and my loyal friends returned.
Unfortunately on that other front…it’s been 16 months, and I’ve yet to break free from that energetic bond.🙏✌️❤️🌞
Wishing you all the strength and tools to break free of the sticky energies that linger-it’s been 9 months of being away and it’s a daily “wash” to keep me focused on the now and not the past. Wishing you the best!
@@beingilluminous 🤗💛
@@stevensawyer5924 thank you! 💚
Dr Ramani went no contact to Al, the humming bird 🤣😂
Well it wouldn’t be the first time obviously 🙄 otherwise why would she tell us 🤦♂️
Why are you so cross? I am referring to the bully humming birds as a last resort. She has been battling one in particular, Al, for over a year. Now along with his mates he is insufferable. So Dr Ramani just showed us “no contact” masterclass. Lovely lesson
Narcissists: the origin of the phrase, “this is why we can’t have nice things.”
Wow! Great connection. I’ve actually said that many times.
So true, lol.
I like that! 😊
Narcissists take an opportunity, not because they need it or want it – but because they know that by taking it that they will deprive others of the possibilities.
Just described billionaires
And because they believe they are entitled to the opportunity
The feeling of power over others
I agree with your analogy wholeheartedly. I found it easier to walk away from everyone then deal with drama that has no meaning for my well-being. Negative narcissistic behavior drains the life out of you with no positive returns. I hear you and thank you for enlightening me to the perils of surviving a narcissistic relationship.
This is absolutely true and many people do not understand the dynamics behind narcissistic abuse.
This is a mind-blowing analogy. I want to keep it in mind as I meet other victims who are struggling and I want something succinct and meaningful to share with them that I hope will make them feel seen and they can ponder later on to get to their own epiphanies.
7:38 *”It’s easier to blame the healthy person that leaves than the cause of the problem.”* Enabling in a nutshell! I chose the harder path and it has made all the difference! 🏋♀🤓💖😄🌈😻🍀💃
It really does
Tge universe, something, opens up other possibilities.
I don’t know if its a fluke but from feeling trapped and finally following through from the videos and distancing myself other opportunities have arisen, positive opportunities have come into my life.
Turning ourselves inside out and wasting all our precious energy on the clueless, yup, that’s definitely a pattern I recognize in myself. Making changes, moving forward ❤❤
It is exactly the case. Because of one or two bullies everyone loses. We often reflexively enable the narcisist because we want others to benefit as well and since it’s never enough for the narcisist and they are bullying others, it’s painful and often detrimental for everyone else to engage in order to get anything- any breadcrumbs and the best way out is to cut everyone off. What a colossal waste on all possible fronts that is?! Sometimes the critical mass is just one narcisist in the position of power to bring the whole big social organisation down. It’s tragic.
Just like the world as a whole. Because of few greedy psychopaths everyone else loses
It is amazing to see the damage that one narcissist can do.
Yes, that’s how I felt when the narcissist verbally attacked me with abusive words. I realized that nothing would change and I couldn’t be in that situation anymore. I did feel like I was letting people down and still sometimes feel like I’m a quitter, but I promised myself a long tim ago that I would never put up with an abuser.
I drives me bonkers how other family members an enable the abusive family narcissists. Some are finally seeing it and putting some boundaries up, but not much. I am usually expected to accept the bullying and not worrying about it because ‘it’s family’. I am not accepting it anymore and prioritizing my well being. No longer existing on crumbs. Thank you Dr Ramani ❤
This woman is a genius! She has a heart of gold!! I love her!!! ❤