Great Guy But No Chemistry – Should I See Him Again? The Short Answer
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Congratulations! You’ve done enough healing not to attract avoidants anymore ❤
Yay!
I felt neutral with my new partner and realized “neutral” meant “safe”, calm and peaceful. My nervous system was relaxed. We had an online friendship for two years before we felt any sort of potential attraction or before we shared deeper things about each other. We realized we had more in common than we had ever known the two years before.
That sounds like a great foundation for a relationship!
Interesting. Have you ever met him in person? How often do you see each other in person?
@@Sunlightsam24 Yes, we have. And we entered into a committed relationship. He wanted to and really put in an effort. He’s the safest and most respectful man I’ve ever met, especially after narcissistic abuse. He himself went through an abusive marriage. It’s long-distance for now, because we live in different countries and he’s in the military. But my job is flexible and we will make it work with me spending more time at his house where he is stationed. Coincidentally, he is stationed in my old home country in Europe, so I can stay for as long as I want without visa problems and my entire family lives there. It was truly a coincidence he ended up there, because we had been online friends before his stationing there at a time I wanted to join the military, as well. We also work in another, creative industry which we have in common and understand our lifestyles. But he’s thinking of making changes. So am I. We’re at an age where it’s crucial. We will have to discuss a lot near the end of his next deployment to make it work. Eventually, we want a life together and family.
Ive felt neutral with past partners and hoped for some chemistry but it didn’t happen. In fact I picked men that felt safe but it never went anywhere due to lack of chemistry, connection.
Thanks for sharing 🙏
Mid January is Capricorn, not Aquarius, and it sounds like a good choice for you. Capricorn is earth and can help ground your fire lion. Capricorn is also a steady going energy that doesn’t suddenly shift on you, but it can be a bit stubborn. Aquarius is from late January until late February and I don’t think Aquarius is the right energy for you. It’s air sign and can be quite mentally focused, emotionally avoidant, altruistic energy. The “project” is more important to an Aquarius than the interpersonal relations. You need someone emotionally available to you.
But as you probably know, people are more than their sun energy, so if you want to get a full picture, I advice getting a full reading by a professional. Not me. I am not a professional astrologist 😊
Late January is my girl…
@@JonathonAslayokay, then she might have both energies in her and it would be significant, what the rest of her horoscope looks like.
We started our long distance relationship a year ago, having known each other in college 60 years ago. Saw each other 4 months in and 5-6 days a month after that… until I left our fun , beautiful place for my summer home near my kids and other family and my tiny, tiny home. Did not see each other all summer and he’s pulling back. He was open to love, open hearted. He committed, wanted to tie me down and I came along to him more slowly. Next month I’ll be back to our place. I’m not sure why he’s anxious and pulling away. He’s 78 and still working a high pressure 50-hr/week job. We’re both highly athletic and social, together snd on our own.
The momentum has stopped, out of sight, out of mind, the bloom is off the rose 🌹, maybe when you’re back closer to him you guys can pick it up again.
Fear is a common experience even if there’s trust.
10 days before you kissed her, is not a long time getting to know each other, I think 😊 All the time you have been speaking about building a friendship and getting to know each other, before sex and romance, I thought you ment months 😂 and I just can’t see myself doing that. If I am not attracted to a man quite soon, it’s because there are red flags and no’s.
What if being neutral is a sign of healthy attraction?
@@JonathonAslayaccording to books about attachment styles, feeling neutral can be, as you also mentioned, when meeting a secure person and not getting your unsecure attachment system activated. So I get, what you mean. Maybe I never tried that, so I don’t know, how I would react 😊 or maybe I just react with boredom, exactly because there is no spark.
Mid January is Capricorn not Aquarius unless she’s more toward the 20th which would make her on the cusp of Capricorn/Aquarius. She sounds intelligent, Capricorns are noted to be one of the most intelligent signs of the zodiac .
.
She’s late Jan
@@JonathonAslayok. That is Aquarius then. It’s an Air sign. Yes you are a Fire sign
❤😊
Some would rather give up after getting your hopes up.