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Andrew McLaurin
Feeling grief is part of healing. Grieve and move on
I am experiencing loss. I realize that what I was grieving was a “death” of a relationship that I thought it was.
I realized that my feelings were for the “death” of what I thought I had. The relationship WASN’T real.
Mine was not either
Yes I was married to a fake person they don’t exist why do you come to terms with that? You wake up one day and you realize it was all a lie on their part
Bingo! We grieve the loss of the fantasy. In actuality, the true relationship sucked.
I am experiencing this same thing right now so I understand your pain. It’s all so confusing because he made it seem real but it was all built on lies and now I’m not sure what is real or who he actually was or is. My love for him was real, 10 years of mind games and I don’t know anything anymore
I loved “the mask” he was wearing. That life wasn’t real.
:-(😢
The fact that my narcissist just died this morning and you posted this is uncanny. I was literally just thinking about if you had a video on grief related to the narcissist. Miracle
Sending you lots of love and prayers as you go through this difficult time.
I’ve had 2 narcissists who passed away (one ex spouse and one parent). Your emotions can get very complicated, especially if it’s an ex spouse because you’re balancing in between the two worlds of widow and not widow, socially and emotionally. Hang in there and remember that you grieve because you have a beautiful and compassionate heart.
❤😂❤
Sorry for your loss b kind to yourself
My heart goes out to you. It’s been a long road for me & nowhere near resolution. My husband passed 3 years ago. There’s things that I miss. There’s bad memories of abuses that need to be excised. It complicates the grieving process. I made the mistake of being vulnerable with the wrong person. I told of a physical confrontation where I was put on the floor for not obeying him. The response was, “But he was a good provider.” I’ve been reeling from this comment for 3 months. Please be kind to yourself. Be careful who you’re vulnerable with. Some people think death negates the deceased person’s sins & flaws. We’re left balancing the good & the awful.
I did not grieve my ex-wife one bit on a personal level. What I did grieve was the loss of the dream of having a nuclear family. I grieved for my children and the fallout the would haunt them for the rest of their lives.
I honestly can look in the mirror and say without a doubt I did everything I could do to save the marriage but her mental instability become even more pronounced as she aged. It was a terrible life and one which at the end was life threatening for me. The powerful pull to stay in the marriage that sustained me for years was not enough anymore. I did not want to live if this was what my life was going to be.
That explains it all . I feel bad that is my child father . They are life threatening people . When you’re dying inside mentally physically you have no choice.
Goodness. I could have written this verbatim. Grieving the loss of my dreams for a loving marriage and close family as well as the harmful effects/fallout his actions had and continue to have on my children, my self, and our extended family.
Hope you and your children are able to live the life you love and deserve.
Ditto- exactly like my narc situation. He died a year ago- alcoholic and drug user- after being a successful mid level manager. Hadn’t seen him in 10 years- found out about all the cheating and unbelievable behaviors afterwards. I truly never missed being around such a toxic person and his intentional ruining of the marriage. Thank goodness I was able to get out in time!
My husband had narcissistic tendencies, which did still cause damage to me and our three children. He passed from Covid, so there was grief from losing him to death and losing the marriage. I dearly loved him and have been doing better, since it has been three years.
Each day, you have helped me so much with my sister. I am 65 years old and have read many books, and nothing has been helpful until I found your channel. Thank you so much.
I feel the same way if I had ever found a shrink like Dr Romnani I’m sure I would have saved myself a lot of trauma grief heartache homelessness. She’s fabulous I love her. I’m glad that she’s helped you deal with your sister much love and light to you..
You can not imagine how it helps even so far away, a long distance from UE. I’ve been learning so much even when I’m from Argentina!! Good luck!
Thank you Dr. Ramani for explaining this so well and I learn more from you every time I watch your videos. I am grateful for you sharing your knowledge.
Wow, yes! It took me YEARS to stop ruminating over something my brain couldn’t comprehend (thank goodness). What a peaceful place my world can actually be!
After narcissistic abuse, your memory is your worst enemy when you’re trying to forget them. I think getting amnesia is the only cure.
I’ve found writing it down helps to release it.
@@julianterris I record myself as if I were talking with someone else!
The PTSD and cognitive dissonance did actually give me amnesia but with it I lost my self concept entirely and feel disconnected from everyone and everything.
@@spikestoyouI can relate ❤
Thank you for this video in particular. Recently divorced following a 30 year marriage. Struggling with the grief you talk about…
“Think think think!” I was told. But then they said: “But in your case, not too much!” 🎉
That coordination between grief and rumination; emotion and thought.
A therapist who gets this means everything ❤️
Grief, is the thing that tells us we had hope. But we have now realized any ‘hope’ is gone.
I find this woman amazing! And very beautiful ❤
My narcissistic mom passed away in my arms. I was an only child and pretty codependent. It was a complicated process. I was sad, but sadly, relieved. Then I felt guilty for feeling relief. I don’t wish that tangle on anyone.
I battle the feeling of wanting them gone. But feel for what you are experiencing. It’s complicated
Again: thank you, Dr. Ramani. Understanding what is going on helps a lot. It doesn’t take away the grief, but it definitely makes it easier to know, that you are not getting crazy or making a huge mistake.
It ain’t that simple! Such value!
This is how I feel after so many losses hurts and life changes. So many don’t understand. Finding the safe people who do: thank you Dr Ramani ❤
The pain is trying to teach us where (we too) went wrong, that’s how we get “closure” by owning our side of the street.