Grumpy vs Narcissistic? What’s the REAL difference?
Everyone gets grumpy and insecure—but when does it cross the line into narcissism? In this video, we explore the key differences between normal emotional reactions and narcissistic behavior, especially if you were raised by a narcissistic parent. You'll learn how to handle your own moods and insecurities in healthier, more self-aware ways. If you’ve ever wondered, “Am I turning into them?”—this is for you.
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
I’m Menopausal and Grumpy as Hell 😅😂
Perimenopausal here and I’m getting there! 😆
Narcissists thrive off of chaos and I’ve known some who would get angry just for the sake of getting angry, like they enjoy being mad. They’ll even get mad when there’s nothing to be mad about.
My partner is like that.
My peace and rest and distance made them angwy, poor whittle babies
I have a sister who to those in the public is sweet, but I have had many telephone conversations in which she harshly snaps at me, denying, dismisses, and discounts my feelings. She calls this ‘losing her patience’. Early this year, she accused me of something during a phone conversation (out of the blue) and I said she was wrong and refused to argue with her. She wanted to continue discussing/ arguing her points, but I refused. I did not get angry but refused to discuss. Weeks later I received an email that made many accusations but the email never addressed the accusation made during the telephone. I made the mistake in responding to her email. What a mistake! I was lambasted with all kinds of accusations.
I find you can get grumpiness if you are in physical pain a lot of the time if you have a chronic illness, fatigue, etc. If you have to deal with something like that, then outside factors like noise, hot weather, traffic jams, etc, can make you more irritable. There is a physical factor to it, too.
Adrenal fatigue makes you grumpy too due to long term stress and frustration
I was thinking the same
Love your videos ❤
I thought I just had a grumpy unhappy sister that was always down on her luck and always had a lot of drama in her life. After decades I began to see patterns and how she took advantage of situations and people. Including me. I did not like what I was seeing. Then I came to you-tube. Covert narcissism jumped off the page and I was immedately able to think of several examples of each trait. Bingo. No contact has given me so much peace.
Bingo me too. Sadly we can’t help them. I went no contact just two months ago. I decided to protect my peace and work on self care. Best wishes to you.
Doctor Ramani, have you seen The Bear season 4???? I cannot wait for you to analyse the episode where DD talks to and apologizes to Carmy!! Please make a video on it soon. I can’t wait for your take on it 🙌🏼😃
As a person with autism I always question whether my coldness and irritability comes from my narcissistic family. I guess the difference is I desperately try to avoid hurting others.
What’s the difference between lacking remorse and accountability and struggling to apologize and therefore never do even when you feel bad?
I’ve never connected grumpiness and narcissism together. The narcissists that I’ve known tended to put on a successful and satisfied exterior. I think this goes to show different types of narcissism.
I asked Dad “what would you call that dad? Ego? That thing that you do?”. “I’d call that EGO LOSS, son, that’s what I’d call that”. What about the intimacy barriers Dr. Ramani? Feeling overpowered while getting it on? I guess a woman who is threatened by porn, your man must have been a betrayer. Not so my Dad.
“Recognize our insecurity as vulnerability and practice self-compassion “ Thank you for this great teaching, Dr Ramani 🙏
That’s the word I needed – grumpy. In my ventures with the narcissist. I’ve noticed the grumpy narcissist has a lot of contempt in their grumpiness. Good word grumpy !! ❤ definitely a big difference between the grump an the grumpy narcissist.
In my younger days, living in a NFS definitely contributed to my grumpiness. With a better understanding of human behavior, a little smarter, wiser and less grumpy now!! 😀
They love drama so they create it by being miserable all the time. Everything becomes an issue.
I think there’s a stereotype, knowledgeable or not. Empathetic types are relegated to being easy going, malleable, non-complaining, easily- manipulated, very soft, validation-seeking. If you ever step out of that role, someone will likely look at you, within a scornful eye, because you’re not behaving according to your assigned role or not what they thought you were.
I think that, although people often mistake me for being at the softest end of the spectrum, I’m often grumpy. Might be considered narcissistic, when I am grumpy. But, for me, the difference is that, I’m grumpy, when I see injustices and actually equally as grumpy, when I see people accept those injustices. A narcissist is typically grumpy, when they take a lot of things, as injustice — personally only. They don’t care about what happens to other people. Me, I get steamed about.
This is such an underrated topic. People throw the word “narcissist” around way too loosely these days. Being grumpy or emotionally shut down isn’t the same as being manipulative or entitled, it’s the intent behind the behavior that matters.
What helped me tell the difference was reading Mastering NO by Miles Braven. It made me realize how often I excused real narcissistic patterns just because they didn’t “look” toxic on the surface. Especially when someone’s moodiness made me walk on eggshells, and I thought I was the problem for not being more patient.
The book helped me stop over-explaining, stop fixing, and start recognizing emotional manipulation for what it is. There’s a big difference between someone who’s hurting and someone who’s hurting you.
What if a narcissist got you to lash out at them?.Even though you humble yourself and point out your faults and still make it clear to them on their faults. And still try to blame you. How are supposed to handle that? That’s so frustrating and you end up looking like the bad guy.
Deep seated anger
Thank you