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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
Narcissists often want to destroy you before they leave you. They want to make sure you’re good for nobody after they’re gone.
There he goes again 🙂
I’m good for “myself” now – ef’em
Well good for him, he succeeded. I believed him and I’m nothing now.
This is very true. My ex keen I was SA by my dad months before I met her and I was super suicidal. In our last conversation she admitted to abusing me so I would leave her. I almost kms and got hearing loss.
Thank you for all you do Dr Ramani – you have helped me understand my life more than you could ever know. Love from the Republic of Ireland 🇮🇪 ❤
Life with them is awful, breakup with them is a mess, post breakup they make your life hell. Very hard to deal whatever you choose
They make you feel responsible for their misery, but only they can fix it, which they won’t.
I just shut off the light, turned off the ringtone and put the phone in a drawer, opened up the champagne and watched a movie. I do not second-guess. They do not belong in my life and I give them no time, or energy. Their inner anger consumes all they touch….don’t touch them. Let them rot on their own. Stay clear. Their entire life is an unresolved open wound.
Wow! Excellent description of my life at this moment.
👍That’s their goal: keep the wound open, keep the trauma open. Because that’s where they stick in the straw and suck out supply, from the wound of the trauma bond.
My lawyer said our divorce should’ve been so simple because we didn’t have kids or many assets to split. But my ex-husband still spent an entire year delaying and undercutting the process. Then he’d break no contact every few months like clockwork to either threaten me or play sweet and end his messages with “I hope you’re doing well, sweetheart.” My lawyer called it emotional warfare. Even the mediator caught onto him and said he was being ridiculous during the separate-room mediation. My ex was so covert it was terrifying.
I went through exactly the same thing…to where the magistrate said what’s the hold up. Even after it was final he wouldn’t leave me alone for nearly a year
This can even happen in a 50 year marriage with kids grown & the house as well as assets sold then split. They want their day in court to play the victim role once again & extract every last drop of blood or cash. It doesn’t seem to matter how much $ is lost in the process as long as they think that in the end they’ve won
I would rather be the villain in their fake sob stories than being exploited, ridiculed, backstabbed and then discarded again!!! NEVER AGAIN!!!
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Amén to that
And there will be plenty of fake sob stories. The poor thing has never done anything wrong. Never.
@@davidhynd4435😂
So Brilliant. You may not even be trauma bonded after a breakup, but you’re empathy can work against you.
My heart is not ruling my head anymore.
People don’t understand how difficult it is to get out of an abusive narcissistic relationship. They want you to go back, even if they’re a psychopath. Your judged in the relationship, and your judged out of the relationship. It can be so frustrating.
Thank you Dr. Ramani, I feel seen and understood. It is such a confusing, complex journey, and this is fresh in my experience (again). I feel exhausted by it all.
I was isolated and knew no better… so yes, that technique worked on me so well, so easily, so naturally. Again. And again. And again. For more than 12 years.
Self preservation should always come first. If someone is violating your peace, let them go. Some things, people and places are not worth going back to again.
Whenever I’ve discarded a Narky, I also made distance from everyone who was in the same circle. It just doesn’t work out to overlap…even my chiropractor; even my auto insurance agent.
Everything they touch ends up bad…that bad apple DOES spoil the whole bunch.
Well said and I’m glad to hear that I am not alone in how I handle things.
Same. I get out of the circle.
These kind of relationships are so convoluted and destructive. A narc’s behavior is very predictable and yet they can hide in plain site. Even people close to you can not be depended on to interpret events clearly/accurately. They will always try to maintain the upper hand and control. Thank you Dr Ramani for shedding a light.
It took me multiple times of leaving and going back to finally LEAVE. I walked out with out a word said. Then came all of the RAGE, the smearing and yes the new guy a couple weeks after I left. We were even engaged.
Now my life is peaceful.
I was sick inside my house. I had to call an intervention to help me to never come back, but what was about to come was even worse. We have children together, they are 12 and 16, they chose to be with him because he is the theme Park dad. So I am 47, no money, in my parents house and my children were alienated from me in a MONTH. Só this has been my worst nightmare. I am here trying to contact them everyday and they talk like they have his spirit inside them. The sweetest boys are behaving just like that prece of s…. Just because I hired a lawyer to formalize the divorce with borowed money. He is also a lawyer so he will be willing to lead us to brankuptcy for me to have my rights. I despise him so much that there are no words. I mourned this relationship a year or more so. It s done forever. I miss my children so much that I feel like a knife is constantly being twisted in my heart. F… m… f of a person
The best apology you ever get from these creeps is them not engaging with you. But they come back months or even years later and pretend it’s all fine and dandy and all the original things they did to you, are never mentioned. Don’t take the bait.
Your videos and book (IT’S NOT YOU) have saved my sanity and quite possibly my life. Thank you.
Congrats on the Goodreads Readers Choice Award nomination. I voted for ya!
Just what I needed to hear today. Thank you!