Have YOU been the focus of a narcissist’s DOUBLE STANDARD?
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
Your a wealth of knowledge on this topic! I bet your classes were awesome!
narcissists want the authority of a king, a dictator, a ruling monarch; but the accountability of a toddler. literally and figuratively.
i walked away from a “friendship” spanning many years, by telling the toxic person “i walked away because you were too busy finding faults in me while i was too busy overlooking yours.”
the surprised pikachu face reaction was hilarious and validated i made the right move.
cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁
Super reply keeping this one!!!!
Exactly! You did the right thing!
@@LPoppy2023 absolutely feel free to use it. enjoy your weekend.
wishing all the best.
-cheers steven
@@Infinite_Omniverse funny thing is the friend didn’t bother me after that. he went his own way. it really revealed it was far from a friendship all along.
since studying up on narcissism in 2020 it has made a huge difference, it has been a lot easier to spot toxic people and enforce boundaries.
-cheers, steven
Hi Steven in Canada. Hope all is well with you. I’m happy to hear that you too, have learned from dr Ramani, about narcissism. So have I. I noticed too many narcissist traits, in my parents and siblings, to the point of having to set boundaries and keep distance as much as possible. I also saw narcissism in some of my oldest friendship too. I also realized that my oldest friendship, was a lot like what you mentioned in your former friendship. When I had the last conversation with my former friend, I noticed, for the first time, how nasty this person was towards me. I actually got shocked, and sick to my stomach. After that, I wrote to this person, that I’m stepping away from the friendship. The only answer I got was truly nasty. That made it extremely clear to me, that I made the right decision, to end the friendship. Information is definitely key, to live a better life. Greetings from Norway Europe.
9:18 Yep… Empathic 💯 that’s completely me 🙋♀️ I did all of that over and over and over 🫣🤦♀️
I’ve been the focus of an entire narcissistic family system’s double standards. All of us lose our cool and get a little frustrated sometimes. When the others do, they are offered immediate understanding and the circumstances are taken into account. When I do, I am a “broken, messed up freak that constantly causes problems for the rest of the family.”
I finally said, “enough”. I told my family that I won’t be a part of their BS anymore, but that they shouldn’t be surprised to see me at extended family events. And I’ll be cordial and polite to them if I see them, but I’m not participating in close family gatherings with them anymore. Done.
You are the Truth Teller/Scapegoat, Dr. Ramani has videos about it too, that I’m sure will really hit home for you 👌💯💓 Good on ya for your decision ( and moreover communicating it with them 👏 👏 👏). Now give the focus, energy, and time back to yourself. 🎉 Way to set a good example 👍
@@ktbiwk Oh yes, I certainly am. Dr. Ramani’s videos have been a godsend ❤️❤️ Btw, I have an entire song about the family scapegoat experience, if you would like to listen. “Vincent was the Lion (Scapegoat, Golden, Forgotten)”
Hang tough!!!!! tried venturing to those family events and couldn’t do it. No contact 10-11 years seems like yesterday however it isn’t and constantly need to reflect on the positives of going no contact and there are hundreds.
Id like to hear your song, can you please drop a link?
Sounds like you were scapegoated as well. Congrats on limited contact! It’s some of the hardest work we will ever do, but so worth it.
22:46 I feel like you were by my side through the entire relationship, seeing and feeling it all go down and now you’re here to pick me back up. You are the best!!! Thank you Dr. R! 💖🙏💖
Thank goodness for Dr. Ramani. I’m happy that you have found this channel and how her content is helping you heal. She has definitely helped me along my healing journey.
I heard an interesting comment the other day that all of us in the USA are coming out of a narc abuse situation
This isn’t a USA thing, or a generational thing. It’s a human thing. It may in some ways manifest differently in different cultures where certain things are more or less acceptable.
Also, there’s “Everyone is a Narcissist” Narcissism and “the person I’m fighting with is a narcissist” Narcissism. And then there’s NARCISSISM Narcissism. The “I will eat you up and spit out your bones, then complain you weren’t enough to satiate me so you’re the Narcissist” Narcissism.
@@JaneSmith.9941 It can be an issue for an entire country or culture. In fact, I think that’s maybe why she threw in the term “communal entitlement”. To show that it can affect groups of people, not just individuals.
@@barbpace-lamb it’s a USA thing when there’s a clearly grandiose narcissist at its helm during one of the worst health crises in the nation’s history
Ex narc stood me up for daytime plans we had, I waited for 4 hours then went out with friends. He showed up at my place later, raged at me for disrespecting him by going out and not waiting longer and then broke up with me. They’re so OFF mentally it’s frightening
You made the right decision.
Great and good for you Jennifer be proud of yourself. You are taking good care of yourself 😊
No self-reflection skills. 😉
That’s awesome he broke up with you. You dodged a bullet. It’s so much worse when people like that don’t leave on their own. Can be downright frightening breaking up with someone like that so from my perspective he actually did you a favor.
@WildAlchemicalSpirit Totally agree!
The problem with narcissism is not that is exists, it that it is everywhere.
👏👏👏
Parenting sucks today.
Yes and no. There’s “Everyone is a Narcissist” Narcissism and “the person I’m fighting with is a narcissist” Narcissism. And then there’s NARCISSISM Narcissism. The “I will eat you up and spit out your bones, then complain you weren’t enough to satiate me so you’re the Narcissist” Narcissism.
And that so many people enable it and rug sweep and victim blame
@@JaneSmith.9941There is the disorder, a severe mental illness and then there is narcissism and narcissistic style
“I don’t care what you think but you’d BETTER care what I think!”
This is narcissism in a nutshell.
It’s utterly amazing to me how many people completely understand this dynamic in comments … and yet narcissism is so embedded * and rewarded * in our society that it continues AND CONTINUES to exist
This all so intense. I’m having all kinds of flashbacks to behavior my daughter has shown her whole life. There is no question this stuff is personality because I am empathetic, kind, not entitled at all and yet she is the opposite. The manipulation and gaslighting are merciless and constant and the cognitive empathy is such a mirage. It’s so destructive.
If your daughter has been that way “her whole life” that’s on you. You raised her. Narcs aren’t born that way, it’s a developmental issue. Everyone in childhood has the capacity to grow into a caring person.
even as a toddler? you probably played a part in why she’s like that then. Parents who cry that their kids are narcs get a side eye from me. Narc parents love to accuse their kids of being mentally ill and awful.
OMG yes.. It was such a relief when I discovered there was such a thing as betrayal trauma.. And I got oodles of it, following the death of three loved ones within seven months, from remaining immediate, as well as extended family.
It is decades later, and I have yet to recover, and I still get to discover some of the more nefarious and horrible things they did when I was too overwhelmed to be paying attention to people I thought I could trust.
I have adult children that are so much like this – after they spend time with their father. We’ve been divorced since 1993, on his 3rd marriage.. still blames .. blames .. blames. Entitlement! Pure & simple! They project on to me that I go through their personal things or money – my ex tapped phones, hide cams, they are the ones that project onto others when they do the very thing they blame you for ..so toxic.
Doctor Ramani is the biggest threat to Narcissism 😂😂😂😂🎉🎉🎉🎉
Yay
If I had to guess, I’d say that’s why the establishment is so often trying to resist and silence her
Rules for thee & not for me .
This is why I keep distance from the narcissistic abusive family members, cause no matter what I say or do, they attack and blame me. I refuse to walk on egg shells or live in that constant fear of doing something they consider ‘wrong’. They never take responsibility and blame everyone else around them despite evidence to the contrary. I don’t have to have them in my life much just because they are ‘family’. I will keep my boundaries for my well being and that’s ok. I matter too. Thank you Dr Ramani ❤❤
“At what point is loyalty a one sided street to self harm…” I love that as that is what my family pressures me to do, and I refuse to play that role anymore. Thank you Dr Ramani ❤
I’ve found that cognitive empathy is PERFECT for giving TO the narcissist. Save your true empathy for the people who deserve it.
My spiritual advisor called it when she said “The Relationship has always lacked reprocity “.
I felt so disgusted being forced to hug my brother after he emotionally and psychologically abused me. It’s so messed up. My family doesn’t get it and I no longer try to get them to understand. I keep my distance from the narcissists now. Thank you Dr Ramani ❤
“My problems are your problems too. Your problems are yours alone” – my former narcissistic friend.